Sunday 1 December 2013

The Place

I just finished my latest running race a 10 km event through the Beach area of Toronto that benefitted an outreach program for families who are having difficulties making ends meet at Christmas time.
 I experienced a new challenge during this race: black ice. Over 700 runners were crammed like sardines so this danger was extremely challenging at the beginning of the race when you could not see it until you were right on top it. Thankfully I survived unlike one unfortunate lady who had to walk back injured to the starting and meet her disappointed family.  I do not think June has ever had snow in Mississauga so I can cross this worry off my list for next year`s Ratanak International walkathon.
 
 A friend asked me "for a 10 km do you just get out of bed and show up?" I guess he was referring to the fact I have ran 42.2 km races in the past.
 Each race no matter the distance poses challenges unique to the event.  Physically I feel I may be coming down with something and sweating as I ran through a steady drizzle with my lungs burning made for a tougher morning than I or my friend could have predicted.
 This came to a head at the 7km mark.  Thanksgiving was celebrated last Thursday in the United States. In three weeks both Canada and the U.S. will celebrate Christmas.  As I was not having an enjoyable run I thought of the act of running a race. I thought of how many people I know who are suffering physically and how the pain they suffer from affects every area of their lives, and they could only dream of being able to run. I then thought of people in other Countries who maybe able to run physically, but social problems such as war, poverty, and exploitation would not allow them to set aside a Sunday morning for a race. 
 Thinking of others far less fortunate made me grateful for the physical and economic blessings I have experienced in my life.  The last 3 km`s became bearable, and low and behold (for the few friends who always ask) I finished in a very surprising time of 43 minutes. 
 
 Lately I have  heard a song that is played much around Christmas.
 Do they know it`s Christmas? Some of the lyrics really  struck me.
 "Do they know it`s Christmas time at all?"  I thought about the ones who rarely leave my thoughts: the exploited children in Cambodia. Sadly they probably do know when Christmas is approaching as they are probably seeing more customers from the affluent part of the world taking advantage of their Christmas Holidays to go overseas and consuming their Countries  product (children.)
 "The greatest gift you`ll give this year is life."  These words are so true for this year or for any year.  What is a richer gift to give someone than the chance for life?
"And the Christmas bells that ring
  Are the clanging chimes of doom
  Well tonight, thank God, its them instead of you."
 If I am honest I see the truth in these lyrics as well.  I have heard Brian McConaghy explain the number of times these girls are abused in a night multiplied over a year.  Yes I do thank God that I have never faced such a life, and I am grateful for a chance to help some leave this life.
 This latest writing is from some of my thoughts I wrote down on a Sunday morning in April 2012.
 I started putting it on my computer November 20 which my calendar tells me is Universal Children`s day according to the U.N. Again I ask myself a rhetorical question. Do the children being exploited realize there is a day set aside for them? 
 
 At the time of the later writing I was training for the 2012 Toronto Marathon. I ended up running 28 miles in distance in a time of 3 hours 48 minutes for this particular training run.  It was pouring rain on this day, my Daughter Isabella thought I was crazy, and when I ran by a deserted golf course I wondered about this myself.
 Sometimes things are coming our way when we least expect it.  I wonder, if I did not run this day would these words have came to me?  Possibly at a later date, or was this a test of faith with a reward waiting that I could not possibly for see?  One way or another I will never know.
 The ravine I run in has four signs that warn me to never leave the trail.  In the six years of training for marathons my feet have never once left this trail.  Yet many times my mind and thoughts are far from this trail.
I shared these words with a group of friends who liked them so now I will share them with you, with some examples of how true, how profound they were that day.  And how I see these words ringing true to me now and I believe for the future.
 
 The Place
 
 There is a place that I know
 That mortal men should fear to go
 It is a place of depravity and shame
 A place whose leader first enticed Cain
 The children who are kept in this place
 Suffer much disgrace
 They are held against their will
 And beaten and made to lie still
 
 This is a place that should be dark
 Yet I see a tiny spark
 A ray of hope in this domain
 One day the light will surely reign
 
 I am called to run this race
 And this is where I see God`s face
 I stumble often He picks me up
 I know this place it is my cup
 
 The giant`s voice tells me I am weak and small
 One day I believe this giant will fall
 This giant feeds on fear and wrath
 One day this giant will be snapped in half
 
 The giant is an awesome beast
 The children are its favourite feast
 The place I see I hate to go
 Yet something draws me this I know
 
 Cain was the first murderer.  He is the first in a long seemingly never ending list of men who listen to the voice they should ignore.  Cain murdered his brother.  Many men now a days are trying to destroy the spirits of little children as they selfishly take away their innocence, what they do not realize is that in the process they are destroying themselves.
 Are there darker places on Earth than the mind of the person who abuses children?  Is there a darker place then the lives of these very children?  In my very privileged and sheltered life I
have not encountered any.
 St Francis of Assisi "All the darkness of the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle."
 Two documentaries I have watched on young girls forced to work as prostitutes had a theme that really took me by surprise.  HOPE was this theme.  I was amazed as in both documentaries the girls were talking of future dreams.  They had hopes for meeting young men who would accept them as they were.  Young men who would overlook their past and young men who would marry them, love them, accept them, and become the Fathers of their children.
 Hope can indeed exist in the darkest places on this earth, and it is up to us to make sure these girls have a chance at the future that they are dreaming of.  The thought and dreams which probably sustain and encourage them to keep going in spite of their present circumstances.
 
 I love running in my ravine.  I really dislike running a race, especially a marathon.  I have had some very tough races dealing with every type of weather element you can imagine, as well as other factors well out of my control.  i.e. Major marathons running out of cups for water at the 30 km mark, winds of 50km/hr, race day temperatures of 31C/91F. 
 Yet this is a time where I am desperate and more than once I have prayed asking God for help as I felt I could not go one more step.  As an answer one marathon I saw a face of a young girl who has faced years of trauma and I felt I had to finish if just for her, another time the earlier writing came to mind and I felt I had to finish this race.
 In running I have not stumbled often.  In my life I stumble every day and am humbled that I am allowed to try to help these children.  I was and still am a very unlikely crusader for these children.
 The cup is a religious symbol I like.  The night before being put on the cross Jesus prayed "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."
 James and John`s Mother asked Jesus to grant her son`s privilege with Jesus in His Kingdom.
 Jesus asked them "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?  They replied yes.  Jesus answered them "you will indeed drink from my cup."
 My cup is the lives of children  many miles away.  It is a cup I would have never picked on my own.  The drink itself is bitter tasting.  It turns my stomach, causes sickness, tears, and despair-- and yet I also believe the drink itself brings life to me.
 
 The giant I write about is enormous.  The figures I come across keep changing and not in the right direction.  Billions of dollars are spent each year on the trafficking of young woman and children.  More than a million young children are being sold daily for the purpose of being exploited sexually.  Who knows how many children are actually involved?   As I do not think this money is reported to the Government, and I do not think a census is taken to accurately number the children.
 One person cannot do very much in terms of such numbers, so what does one person do?
 For myself I run, I put one foot in front of the other and try not to think of how far I have come and how far I still have to go.  I do not look or think I just run and hope and pray impossible thoughts and dreams much like the girls, that if they can dream of finding a husband I can dream of one day when the giant goes silent.
 While preparing my body for this last race a song came across my mind numerous times as I ran down my ravine.  Sometimes people on Earth seem to get away with their sins and go unpunished.  I thought this about the man in Cleveland who died three weeks into his life sentence.  I thought too soon, he did not pay enough.  His victims may have to pay for their whole lives for his evil.  Possibly his Justice was served just soon enough.
 The song is from Mumford and sons:  it starts as a man facing judgement on earth, in a very clever way they twist the writing into a day we will all face judgement day, and if I know anything this day did not go well for the man in Cleveland, nor will it go well for the many other men who are currently abusing children.
 
 You are their abusers now look at their faces
 Your oppression reeks of your greed and disgrace
 One man has while another has not
 How can you live with what you have got?
 When you took it all from the weak hands of the poor
 Murderers and thieves you don`t know what is in store
 There will come a time you will look in my eye
 You will pray to the God that you`ve always denied
 And I`ll go out back and I`ll get my gun
 You haven`t met me I am the only Son
 
  
 Larry
 
 
 
 
 




Sunday 20 October 2013

Freedom



 Friday October 18 was Anti-Slavery Day.

 I found this out at about 8.00 p.m. by going on The Ratanak International website,
 they included a quote from Abraham Lincoln "In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free - honourable alike in what we give, and what we preserve.  We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best, hope of earth."  I spent a large portion of this day driving around downtown Toronto, unaware of the special status of this particular day as I am sure most of the people I came in contact with.  This in itself is a bit sad, far sadder to me is the fact how little this day would mean to a person currently living in slavery.

 Ironically enough on this day I was driving around downtown to pick up my racing gear for a half marathon race in Toronto.  
 "Marathon runners have a shelf life slightly longer than a fruit fly." is a quote I came across a few years ago.  
 Seeing two family members currently dealing with leg injuries is a daily reminder of how easy it would be to have my running end.  This Summer I decided to participate in different races and see some parts of the World my family has not been to, while I am able.
I am an advocate for as long as it takes for the Children in Cambodia, this will last longer than my running career, although running in my life has and continues to bring about awareness for this cause.

 The Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half-Marathon was to be one of these races.  Lining up at the starting line I have many thoughts.
 Some people run away from problems or unpleasant memories or experiences in their lives.  Running for me has became the opposite.  Running for me has brought me into a world I never knew of, or could even imagine it`s existence in my wildest nightmares.  Running has brought me face to face on a daily basis with the dark world of children in Cambodia held as sex slaves.  Running has allowed me to try and make a positive difference in these children`s lives.
 Ratanak International held a conference many years ago named "Slaying the Giant - Ending Child Sexual Exploitation."  I was a volunteer at this conference. There is a story from the Bible that most are familiar with.  It is a story of a boy facing a Giant (David and Goliath.)
 1 Samuel 17:48 As the Philistine moved closer to attack him; David RAN QUICKLY toward the battle line to meet him.
 When it is all said and done in my life I hope it can be said that I ran into battle facing this Giant of Greed, Exploitation, and Evil that holds young children captive; not fearfully, or begrudgingly;  but as David I hope it can be said that I ran as fast as I could and for as long as I could for  The Children in Cambodia.
 I think of some of the sacrifices my family allows for me to run.  Training for a Marathon is a very selfish pursuit, although my hope is that something beautiful comes out of these races.
 Gloria my driver: I am terrible with directions and you seem to always be the one looking up maps and road closures even in strange Cities.  Much like our life together you have never failed me once.
 Katarina: Today you have a touch of the flu, looking at your eyes I felt guilty about the early start.  Hearing you shiver in the car made me feel even worse.  Yet you came and expressed pleasant surprise at my time and remarked "you are fast Dad."
 Isabella:  The people familiar with my blog are waiting for your response.  Isabella did not ask me if I was going to win (first time ever.) Yet when I actually ran faster then expected having my family miss me at the finishing line.  Isabella asked Gloria "Do you think Daddy won?"

 As the race starts I say my Father`s prayer for me.  "Lord may I run for your glory today."
 3 km mark I think of the time 9.00a.m. in Toronto which would be 9.00p.m. in Cambodia.  As I run through the streets of Toronto I think of the streets in Cambodia where regular tourists, and Aid workers will not venture out at this time.  I think of the other tourists, the sex tourists, and the pedophiles who are roaming the streets at this hour.  I see a little face of a girl I don`t know yet I know her story. She is like a lamb being led to the slaughter amongst the wolves.  She is in Cambodia, she is terrified, she is defenceless.  I am overcome with emotion and I do what I can only do at such moments, I pray.  I pray that God protects this little girl for the length of my run today, that she will not be harmed for the next hour and a half or so.
 6 km mark The courses direction changes and the wind that has been a cross wind for the runners is now directly against us.
 Bolder now I ask that God would protect this girl for the rest of the night.
 13 km mark The wind is now at my back, but a series of small hills start.
 I think back to the girl and ask that she is to be protected not just for tonight, but for a whole week.
 20 km mark Most people may find this funny but I realize I am going to finish as I always have doubts about my ability to finish a race right up until the end.  Being even bolder I ask that God somehow supernaturally takes this girl, protects her from any who would harm her, and brings her to a place of rescue so that she never, ever has to wander these mean streets again.
21.1 km The finish line and what a pleasant surprise.  I ran my second fastest race ever.  For those who ask for numbers I finished in 1 hour 38 minutes and 15 seconds.  Well, well under pace for a Boston Marathon Qualifying time.
 
For quite some time the word freedom has been in my thoughts.  Lately it has made it`s way into commercials.
 I thought to spend some time  looking up some thoughts and opinions on this word from some leaders of the past as well as three people from the present.  Mark Buchanan a Christian writer said he has been told "he writes beautifully."  But Mark went on to say he feels he lives life messy. 
 A few people like my writing on this blog and send me nice comments after each post.  This makes me feel a little guilty because you are reading about a few edited moments of a few months of my life when everything comes together just right and sometimes, something very nice comes out.  My day to day life is far removed from these writings and listing my pettiness and flaws would be longer than my actual blog writing.

 There was a rally in Toronto the last week in September for freedom.  Lotto 649 has a commercial "Just imagine the freedom" where a person who has won the lottery is shown enjoying various forms of extravagance.
 Many billboards around the City I live in have Wind Mobile "true mobile freedom."
 Freedom 55 has been a slogan for a long time in commercials for a financial company, last year I heard a man in my gym bragging of his 15 years of financial freedom as he lived out his retirement.
 Freedom for my Daughter may have came the day when her broken leg healed and she said goodbye to her crutches and her cast.
 Miley Cyrus was using her freedom of expression on the award`s show with her provocative dance.
 Many recording artists use this same freedom when singing lyrics that many find offensive.
 To a recovering addict freedom may be the day when they started the battle to say no to whatever they were struggling with.
 The Pastor at my Church recently used 2 Corinthians 3:17 in a recent sermon.
 17 For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

 Freedom is a word that is hard to define as many people have many different opinions on it.
 The  Dictionary definition of freedom is "the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint."
 William Orville Douglas "The right to be left alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom."
 Abraham Lincoln "Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves."
 William Wilberforce not a quote on freedom but a quote on slavery I like and take to heart. "You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know."
 Now to the present three men, from different walks of life, all giving me excellent responses to my question on what the word freedom means to them.

 Sunder Krishnan (Senior and Preaching Pastor) Rexdale Alliance Toronto
 Sunder used to be a Rocket Scientist literally no jokes and turned from this career to be a Pastor.  The wisest man I have ever met who teaches and dispenses wisdom with Love and Humility.  If you are looking for a Church in Toronto you could do much worse than Rexdale Alliance.
 Sunder`s answer 1 "The test in Genesis 2 implies the gift of freedom is unique to humans. The freedom to transcend instincts, which the animal kingdom doesn`t have.
 2 True freedom implies limits and responsibility to one another and ultimately to our maker in whose image we have been made. God`s freedom is always consistent with His moral purity.
 3 Freedom is not being able to do whatever we want but to want to do what we ought to do."
 
 Neil Boron (former Pastor) Host of Lifeline a radio talk show on WDCX 99.5 F.M.
 Neil calls all his listeners "friends of the show."  Neil has been more than a friend to Ratanak International and myself personally as he has used his program numerous times to educate his listeners to the selling of young children for sex in Cambodia, and many other times challenged these same listeners to become involved in helping these children.
 "The freedom I am most familiar with is the freedom Jesus supplies (freedom from sin, addiction, helplessness, etc.) and that kind of freedom was not free.  It cost Jesus his life.  The other kind is freedom from slavery, tyranny, etc.  I have enjoyed that kind of freedom because someone (man tens of thousands) gave their very lives so I could live in precious (valued) liberty.  It seems to me that the ability to extend freedom to others is likely to come at a great personal cost.  From what I know of freedom personally, it surely seems worth the cost for others to share in this blessing!"
 
 J.M. (Jamie) Blaine a writer whose book on his life of dealing with mentally ill people and seeing God in these people (Midnight Jesus & Me) is a book I enjoyed more than any other in a very long time.  I highly recommend it.
 "Freedom is peace and peace must be seized.
 Freedom and peace can be different things to different people.
 One man`s freedom might be hell to me.
 I`ve met lifers in prison more free than the Pastor at the mega church.
 Freedom is a condition of the soul of the mind and the heart.
 Freedom is something I don`t think I have fully felt yet.
 But I see it down the road & catch a glimpse here & there."

  A logical progression would be for me to give my opinion on what I feel freedom means to me but I received an email last month that changed my thoughts.
 The email was from Lisa a mentor who is living in Cambodia right now on the front lines of the battle for freedom of young girls in Cambodia and for some older girls rescued from a life of slavery as Lisa and her staff  try to lead these older girls in wise choices for their futures.  On her blog she called it Bitter Sweet Moments.  Good news at the start of the email as 5 young women in a Ratanak program are to start University in October, this is no small feat and is great news as these girls most likely have faced abuse I could not imagine and yet in this impoverished  Country are going to get a chance to be the leaders of this Country.  People who have donated let this sink in and thank you as your money may have made it possible for these young women to continue to heal and to continue to distance themselves from their past.

 Lisa than talked of meeting up with an old friend of hers, a little 12 year old girl S. who was out with her 8 year old sister.  Lisa has known this girl for 5 years and had formed a bond with her although had not seen her in a while.  S. told Lisa she was going to the waterfront.  S. and her little sister were both dressed up and wearing make up. Lisa realized they were in fact being prepped to be sold later on that day.  This devastated me as Lisa had blogged much of this girl and now before her eyes  Lisa saw these young girls were being taken to the market literally.  I thought of her young age 12, and her even younger sister 8.  I pictured my Daughters ages 11 and 13 and this story really hit me hard.  Times like this are hard, for there is such a sense of helplessness, and hopelessness. I mean what can I do?
 And yet while the pain for me is so real.  I could not even begin to imagine how Lisa was feeling at this time.

 I had a very restless sleep and due to a very hectic schedule could only go to the gym for a very short workout the next morning.  The day before an older lady who tracks my running training asked about Tomorrow and when I told her it was a treadmill day she expressed surprise I would not go outside for my run as the weather was perfect for running this day.  I explained my schedule and added the word`s I have never used before "Tomorrow I will run fast."
 Contrary to what I originally believed as I started training for a marathon,  running an actual marathon for me is a passive action as I usually run a certain pace for more than half the race and than I end up having to "hold on" to some degree.  My second half times have varied from 6 to 13 minutes slower from my first half of the race. 
 This day I decided to be active and that I was going to attack the treadmill run in a way I rarely do or can.
 After stretching quickly I am on the treadmill and set the pace to a 7 minute 47 second mile, faster than a Boston Marathon qualifying pace and a very fast pace for this early in my training.  For some reason I think of a verse from the Book Of Job 39:18 speaking on the speed of an Ostrich
18 Yet when she spreads her feathers to run, she laughs at horse and rider.
10 minute mark I have not broken a sweat yet so I speed up to a 7 minute 30 second mile, this run is going very easy which for my treadmill run is also usually not the case.
20 minute mark I speed up to a 7 minute 15 second mile.  I notice my two wrist bands as I run.  The one on the right is from last year`s walkathon and says Bring Hope!  The wrist band  on the left is from a Conference Lisa organized many years ago of which I volunteered at. It is Isaiah 1:17
 Learn to do right!  Seek justice, encourage the oppressed.
 Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.
 I think of some of the words to a Mumford and Sons song
 
 The Cave
 So tie me to a post and block my ears
 I can see widows and orphans through my tears
 I know my call despite my faults and all my growing fears
 But I will hold on hope
 And I won`t let you choke
 On the noose around your neck 
 And I`ll find strength in pain
 These words resonate with me.  Who wants to hear such stories?   Who wants to watch the documentaries?  Who wants to enter into this world of darkness?
 Yet these stories fuel passion, contrasting the small victories gained are much sweeter. Sometimes hope is the only thing to hold onto, hope ultimately in these girls Creator and that He who has led us to these girls will not fail, but will ultimately have the final say. Hope is also raised when people join together and raise funding and awareness at different events.  These girls are born with a noose around their neck, every abuse on their young bodies pulls the noose tighter.  Possibly I can take up the slack on the noose when I run for them.  I am not able to cut it away that is another persons work, but relieving some of the pressure is good enough for right now.  Strength in pain refers to the fact I am experiencing  pain means I am on the right track.  Soreness and discomfort are a constant companion in training for a marathon.  Actually pain and sometimes injury are the result in running in and completing one.
 30 minute mark I speed up to exactly a 7 minute mile. I was going to go faster but caution reigned me in a bit as I realized my busy day would not allow me to take proper care of my body after the run.
 My time I finish my 40 minute run at would be a 3 hour 8 minute marathon, my best marathon time ever is 3 hour 19 minutes.
 The feeling in the pit of my stomach has not gone away but I feel I have done what I can for today.

 The example in my life I thought of for that day on the treadmill is when we first bought our House.  The backyard was full of a concrete path around the pool.  My job one Summer was to break up this path, working on a budget my tools were a sledge hammer, a metal spike, and a strong back.  Some of the concrete broke easy, some was very hard to break.  The thickest pieces would take many blows from the sledge hammer to break.  Sometimes I wondered if they would ever break.  The surprising  thing was the toughest ones would not give at all until it was their time.  Yet when they broke it was not a little piece that came off, they were shattered, broken into many pieces.
 My hope is that the girls who my friends hold dearest in their hearts.  Lisa with S. Charlene with L. Brian with S. are key children in this battle, and yet when they are pulled free and rescued there will be a huge weakening of this evil empire.  The fallout will be much like the concrete in my backyard.  I picture a damn breaking and huge numbers of girls being swept away to their rescue as the key girls are pulled free.

 My thoughts on freedom: I have only experienced freedom in every area of my life and although I do not understand or appreciate freedom fully.  I know I have been greatly blessed to experience such freedom.  A young girl in Cambodia can and will one day tell her story of starting her life in slavery and what true freedom means to her.  Freedom is a gift from God and gifts are mean`t to be shared, not hoarded.  Sharing freedom may mean giving up some of our rights, comforts, and privileges to reach down and pull up the ones in the world not able to experience freedom, sharing freedom may mean carrying loads when we would rather be doing something else.  Freedom is a serious word and I hope to never use it in a trivial manner ever again.
 
 I close with the words of Martin Luther King Jr.  In Cleveland the last 3 miles of the Marathon were run on the freeway named after him.  I thought I may have some inspiring words to write about finishing my race on such a historic land mark, but I was too hot, too tired, true to form I was in fact" just holding on."  These words are from his "I have a dream" speech.  What I find interesting is that he starts out talking about his dream of black people having equality with white people, he finish`s with a picture of the whole world.  Possibly when Cambodia and it`s children experience freedom other Countries and their people around the world will follow suit.
 
"And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God`s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last!"
 
Larry
 

Saturday 17 August 2013

Please Don`t Stop The Music

Summer is almost over and this Summer was a time of slowing down, a time of reflection as well as a time of dealing with whatever life threw at my Family.
 
One area of my life I thought about was the use of music, in particular lyrics from songs that I have used in my previous writings.
 
K`naan  Take a Minute
 And any man who knows a thing knows
 He knows not a damn, damn thing at all 
 And every time I feel their hurt
 I feel that givin` getting me up off the wall
 
Sums up my thoughts on looking back on my experiences of this Summer, and also looking ahead to the future.
 
 For people new to this blog I have run five full marathons and helped organize two 5km walkathons to raise funding and awareness to benefit sexually exploited children in Cambodia, through the Christian organization Ratanak International.
 
This Summer my family experienced Soccer, pool cover bugs, Floods, and more then our share of drama.
 
Soccer was fun, both girls played for a different league, at different fields at the same time on the same night.  Gloria and I took turns watching each girl play.  Monday became known as Soccer night for our family, although eating Dinner at about 9.30 p.m. may have added a few inches to my waistline, as one night I was told by my better half "I don`t think Hugh Jackman eats that."  I remarked "I do not think Hugh Jackman can run a marathon".  To which Isabella joined in the conversation "He doesn`t need to."
 
One night while watching Katarina play I looked up into the sky overhead and saw something very beautiful.  I saw a field with all the flowers of the earth.   I saw the Sun shining bright.  I saw many children all at ease, all smiling, playing, singing.  I saw the abuse, and the shame and the baggage forced upon these children left outside of this field.  I saw the children looking to their admirer.  I saw the abused children of this world, children who had lost their childhood to Men`s abuse, reclaiming it with Jesus in Heaven.
 
 
Matthew 19:14
 
Jesus said "Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these."
 This image reminded me of the Song by Mercy Me and their thoughts of Heaven
 
 
 I Can Only Imagine
 I can only imagine
 What it will be like
 When I walk by your side
 I can only imagine
 What my eyes will see
 When your face is before me
 
"Thank you everyone for your love, support and donations which helped me build a brand new life.  I want everyone to know I`m doing just fine.  I may have been to hell and back, but I am strong enough to walk through hell with a smile on my face and with my head held high and my feet firmly on the ground." Michelle Knight`s words about how she is doing after her 10 years of captivity in Cleveland.  I would like to imagine myself, that although you and I may never hear these words, that there are children in Cambodia who are thinking these thoughts as they continue to heal.
 
 Pool cover bugs, the names are water strider, and water boatman.

 
 
 
For quite some time in the Spring Isabella had taken an interest in these two types of bugs on our pool cover.  One day she asked me "what were we going to do with them when we drained the cover to open our pool?''  With her persistence I realized I would have to come up with a plan.  For Isabella has a love for all of God`s creatures, even bugs on a pool cover.  This is a beautiful thing that I do not want to snuff out.  The plan I came up with was to put the bugs in separate containers and take them to a pond near where I run.  It is about 2km from my house so we would have to take the van.  The day of the event Isabella expressed surprise that she was to come as I told her I need you to hold the pails steady so the bugs do not spill out.  I thought how Isabella`s attitude reflected mine earlier on in my life with some of the World`s unfairness, in that I noticed the problem`s and expected God to solve them (without me being involved) and even blamed Him when these problems continued.  I have come to realize that God is involved in these problems in a very big way, BUT He expects us to do our part.  In summary the water boatman bug`s survived our trip, but the water strider bug somehow was not in the pail as we arrived at the park, and we could not find it anywhere.  Another lesson I learned is that I am not guaranteed 100% success.  I advocate for the children in Cambodia as best as I can however many times circumstances far beyond my control may delay or even thwart the freeing of these children, however this does not give me the right to do nothing.
 
 As the Summer started I was asked the question "How are you?'  I responded "Today I am good, but I do not know what Tomorrow will bring."  Tomorrow brought a power outage and a flooding in our basement (due to a record rainfall), a car break down, and trips to three Emergency departments.  We dealt with a severe Migraine and a fractured Tibia.  These events reminded me of how little control I  have over many areas in my life.  The Flood was a blessing in a way for we cleaned out our crawl space and the "treasures" I had been storing in the form of old things that I thought had value, ended up costing me $17 to throw out at the dump.  I think of Jesus and how the Soldiers gambled for His only possession His robe and realized I should be more efficient with my belongings.
 
 The trip`s to the Emergency departments came as most things do, without a warning.  We received great care with hopefully no future problems, and as we walked out of the Hospital each time I thought of all the Parents whose Children have serious medical conditions that may never go home.  I thought of the saying on my favourite shirt that both my girl`s wore when they were younger.  "Thank Heaven for little girls."  I thought of the little ones in Cambodia and I thank Heaven for them, as well as having not so little girls that are Healthy, and a Country that looks after them with care when they are not well.
 
Music has played such a significant part of my writing which is interesting as I have no music talent, also interesting is the various types of music, and the timing.
 
 After The 2013 Cleveland Marathon I wrote about hearing the Beatle`s song Let it be as I entered Brown`s Stadium and prepared myself for the run and how I changed the words to do not let it be in relation to the sexually exploited children in Cambodia.  The 2012 Toronto Marathon ran out of cups at it`s later watering stations, causing me to be dehydrated, and have a very tough finish.  At the 30 km mark a band by the side of the road played the song "Gloria" as I ran by them and for a brief moment I forgot about my pain, and thought of my most beautiful wife and actually smiled.  At the finish line of the 2010 Mississauga Marathon I heard the song No woman no cry a song that friends of mine danced with some of the abused children of Cambodia on a short term Mission trip the previous year.  In another run I heard the song I go blind by 54- 40, a song about looking at children suffering and being able to ignore it.  What is interesting is that each time if I was even two minutes later, or earlier I would have missed the song.
 
At the gym I have heard No Doubt`s song Just a Girl, which speaks of a girl living in captivity.  Taylor Swift Change was a recent addition in which I quoted from in my previous writing.  I also have heard an older Bob Dylan song.
 
  Blowin` in the wind
 Yes, how many years can some people exist
 Before they`re allowed to be free?
 Yes, how many times can a man turn his head
 Pretending he just doesn`t see?
 Yes, how many ears must one man have
 Before he can hear people cry?
 Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
 That too many people have died?
  His answer to all of these questions was to blow in the wind.
 
 These  questions still ring loud and clear today, and serve to challenge us.  I always seem to have the wind against me in a Marathon, this along with heat and hills make finishing any race more of a challenge.  Wind is a huge challenge.  It is something out of my control, and it serves to keep me alert.  My hardest training run of the past year was such a day.  The wind on this day was 60km/hr and gusted to 85km/hr.  Very early on I thought to myself Gloria could not run with me today as I do not think she is heavy enough to run into this wind.  I was looking forward to the halfway point when I could turn around and run with the wind at my back.
 
 Each time the wind gusted it hit me right in in my chest and took my breath away.  For some reason I thought of a song from the movie The Apostle starring Robert Duvall where as a preacher he was leading his congregation in physically building a Church from the ground up.  He would sing a line from The Bible about Satan`s work and in response his whole congregation would sing out "Satan get behind thee."  For the rest of this training run each time a gust of wind would hit me I would think of something negative that should keep me from helping the children in Cambodia and I would sing out "Satan get behind me."  One gust knocked me down as I ran up a hill, after checking that I was okay my loudest "Satan get behind me."  Getting to the halfway point seemed to take forever,  and when I turned around  I went a short distance and realized the wind had just shifted so in fact this wind was going to be against me the whole run.  I was able to finish, however  the wind did take a toll on me as my time was 20 minutes slower then my average, yet as I have mentioned before in previous writings that these type of unexpected hardships though not pleasant, help you in dealing with other tests later on in life.
 
 Running in my Ravine seems to be when the Music really comes to me.  One day I thought of Bruce Cockburn`s song If a tree falls in a Forest and changed it to If a child screams in a brothel Does anybody hear? Does anybody care?  Anybody hear the child scream?
 
 I spoke once in a Church about these next two songs and how the lyrics challenged me.  As a Rock group seemed to have more moral outrage and anger at Social injustices in the world then my twenty years in Church had taught me. The group is Rage Against The Machine.  Just looking up these words again after such a long time really moved me. Maria is the song of a woman smuggled across a border into a life of slavery, eventually dying in her captivity at the hands of her captor. Born as ghosts to me refers to the fact it is much easier to never think about some of the suffering of the children that is going on in the World. 
 
 Maria
 Tha Sun ablaze as Maria`s foot touches the surface of Sand
 She knows the game she`s human contraband
 Tha foreman approaches
 Steps now pound in her brain
 His presence it terrifies
 And eclipses her days
 And with a whisper 
 He whips her
 Her soul chained to his will
 
 Born as Ghosts
 The hills find peace, locked armed guard`s post
 Keeping us safe from the screams of the children born as ghosts
 Born as ghosts, a warning, they suffer
 They cannot speak a word
 Born as ghosts, a warning, they suffer
 They are the children born as ghosts
 Born as ghosts
 
Viewing pictures of the recent Ratanak 5km Walkathon a song from Mumford and Sons came to mind. 
 
  Awake my Soul
 In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
 And where you invest your love, you invest your life.
 Awake my soul
 Awake my soul
 Awake my soul
 For you were made to meet your maker.
 


Jessika from my core group summed this up to me best as every picture I saw from the walkathon she was in she was just radiant.  A book I read this Summer speaks of the belief  that the verse from The Bible saying that The Kingdom of God being close at hand is a statement that God has a Kingdom on Earth, as I looked at Jessika on this day I cannot help but feel for her investment of time and of her life for the children in Cambodia she experienced something very special on this day.
 I received a clean bill of health from my Doctor.  Now I am asked what is next?
 
 

 
I feel like I am to continue on the journey I have begun.  It is journey of heart break and pain, a journey of sorrow and distress, a journey almost too much for me at times, a journey that takes me places I do not always want to go, but it also is a journey of incredible blessings.  A rough plan has been formatted starting this fall (I have Family approval.)  I have a few smaller races starting in October and ending with a full Marathon run in Ottawa next Spring.  The Ratanak 5km will have it`s third installment, hopefully with even more success.
 
I have been told by more then one person that they felt my preparing for and running an actual marathon allows me to carry girls in Cambodia closer to their spiritual freedom.  Last Monday my oldest Daughter Katarina broke her tibia in a Soccer game.  Katarina has many excellent qualities, one I found out that night is that she is "tough as nails" as she walked off the field on her broken leg under her own power.  Going to her team`s bench I saw her obvious pain and wondered what to do?  Instinctively I put her over my shoulder; very slowly and carefully I carried her to the waiting car.  Was it fun?  No.  Was it easy?  No.  Was it necessary? Yes.  Did I resent or regret the physical sacrifice I was making?   Of course not!  What it also was, was an incredible honor in being the person who was trying to help bring someone I love closer to ending their pain.  This is a picture of what I hope I can do for the girls in Cambodia.
 
Carrying Katarina carefully allowed her no further pain.  The girls in Cambodia need to be physically taken out of the areas where they are being harmed, as it is only when trauma is stopped that healing can begin .  Carrying Katarina to the car allowed me to take her to the people best suited to deal with her injury, X-ray technicians, and Doctors.  The girls in Cambodia need to be taken to counsellors and therapists, one day possibly to Jesus to help them deal with the abuse they have lived through.  One day soon Katarina will walk again without crutches, it is my hope that one day the girls in Cambodia will walk freely without any of their past clinging to them. 
 
 

 This is a picture of Centennial Hill where I run past now, later on this is the hill I will run in training that has allowed me to finish some very tough races with hills, this picture was taken in the fall of 2011.
 These are my original thoughts after viewing this hill. " Look closely some trees have bright tags or ribbons on them; other trees have a white plastic guard around them.  These fresh planted trees are the children of Cambodia; some yet to be born.  The future of Cambodia is like these trees.  The ribbons represent beauty and a marking or recognition that they have been chosen by God.  The white guard protects the young vulnerable trees from wild animals, the colour white shows their purity in the eyes of God, not man.  For the children it represents the Spirit that will guard and protect them.  It will strike and chase away the evil that would seek to reclaim its land.  The soil is love, not hate.  Peace, not fear.  Acceptance, not rejection.  Hope, not despair.  The children will grow straight and tall on this hill."
 

This is the same hill less then two years later, although seeing the difference in a Forest`s growth is obvious to the eye, it is my belief that some of the girls in Cambodia are healing on the inside, hopefully as fast as this Forest`s growth.  What I found interesting is the beginning of Centennial hill.  More than 30 years ago it was used as a transfer station for waste.  Centennial hill where I run, and the beautiful park that surrounds it, used to be an enormous garbage dump.  The children being used sexually in Cambodia are considered disposable; they are looked upon as garbage themselves.  When they are no longer useful they are thrown out and another takes their place.  God is in the process of building His own beautiful hill in Cambodia on the frail bodies of the children in Cambodia.
 
 I started with a line from a K`naan song, later on in the same song he gives thanks to Africa for what it taught him, I changed it to Cambodia.
 
 Dear Cambodia, you helped me write this
 By showing me to give is priceless
 
 Larry