Wednesday 30 December 2015

The Gift Triton Ghost Shrimp

The other day I was sent a link to a video from a friend. After viewing it I started the process of writing this blog.
The video shows a young woman playing a violin in the subway. For the next few minutes alternating scenes from the subway and her life are shown. Most people in the subway ignore her, in fact most don`t even look up from their phones. The alternate scenes are the lady playing her violin in front of full stadiums, receiving awards, etc. At the end of the video a small nativity scene is shown and the question is asked "do you see the gift?"
The woman`s name is Lindsey Stirling, she played Hallelujah.
Ignoring the obvious, in that a lot of  people refuse the gift of eternal life started by the birth of Jesus, I thought of the people in the video missing out on the here and now gift. The gift was the opportunity to see a world class violinist playing a beautiful song just for them, at no cost. Possibly busyness, fear or some other reason kept them from receiving this gift.

I thought of all the gifts in my life. A Pastor once wrote "if you honestly pray and thank God for every blessing in your life, you will not leave your house that day."
In a book by Gary Haugen he mentioned a gift he wished to leave with his children.
These are my thoughts of instilling a gift.
"As the father of two teenaged girls I have tried to leave them a gift. The gift I have tried to teach is to look down, and not up."
By that I mean, "Don`t look up at people who are more successful or have more money than you. Don`t look up at people who are more famous or attractive than you. Look down toward people who have less than you and need help. Look down and offer whatever you can: your time, your money, your love. Look down and thank God for each and every blessing He has given you, and share them with people who need them most."
Looking around at what I do have, and not what I could have had sobered me. I realize how many gifts in the form of family, friends, health, employment, freedom, etc I take for granted in my life.

"Now I`ve heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord." are the first two lines of Hallelujah.
I believe the secret chord in David`s life was obedience, and total trust in God. David fought a lion, bear when he was protecting his sheep. David defeated a giant who was mocking his God. This is the time in his life that God was most pleased with him.
For me obedience and trust comes from running yearly marathons in trying to bring healing to hurting people in Cambodia.

On December 26 Boxing day my family was getting ready to leave our house for a special birthday meal that took place in one hour. Isabella my younger daughter was very upset about her fish Triton and his health.
After investigating my family realizes his water is not healthy and we start a lengthy process of draining the water, cleaning his tank and refilling his tank with clean water.
Part of the deal of taking this fish from a friend was that my daughter`s were to be responsible for his care. I am upset and ready to let loose with a lot of angry, negative comments. Comments that would hurt someone who already feels terrible.
I realize part of my anger is thinking ahead and what it will cost me. Tomorrow was to be a very rare"me day." A day where I slept in, took it very easy, and had no responsibilities. Now I think about continuing the process of cleaning, and refilling the tank. I also think of going to the pet store with all the post Christmas shoppers at a busy shopping mall, not my idea of fun.
Before speaking I think of how God the father handles my sin, how He handled the prodigal son, how He relented on His punishment of David numbering his fighting men, how He gave Hezekiah healing. 
When calm I hugged Isabella and told her "there are consequences in life for our actions, and our inactions, however we will pray for mercy for your fish." I resisted the temptation of making promises either to God or my daughter.
The next day the pet store was packed of course. The nice lady who worked there made sure our filter was working and sold us ghost shrimp, as they help in cleaning fish tanks. She also told us the next few days were the most important for Triton.


After the second day I thought Triton would die as he was very sluggish and would only move a few inches. Today, the fourth Triton is moving around a little more and actually came to the surface for his feeding. The shrimp are fun to watch, especially when they eat, as the colour of their food shows through their transparent bodies. We may have created a different problem as Isabella has told my oldest daughter Katarina she cannot eat shrimp at restaurants any more as that would be like eating a family member.

 
In an earlier writing I wrote about some responses to my daughter`s sensitivity, such as being told my daughter`s could not live on a farm. That's fine God did not put us on a farm. I could not live on a farm either.
A friend remarked how she was like Isabella when she was young, a friend who is heavily involved in bringing freedom to the captives in Cambodia.
Studies done on serial killers, sadists, rapists etc have found many times these people started out by inflicting pain on animals.
Instead of trying to push down my daughter`s sensitive nature, why not embrace it for possibly God is using her love and compassion of animals as a way of preparing her for her calling of a group of marginalized people later in life, much as He did with me.
Larry



 

Sunday 8 November 2015

Childrens Laughter Keep Running But Please No Hills

As an amateur writer I seem to have high standards for books I choose to read. A book came in the mail that I could not wait to start reading, finishing the book in less than a week I was not disappointed.
Midnight Jesus written by Jamie Blaine was the book. Jamie writes about his experiences as a late night psychotherapist, and how he constantly finds Jesus amongst the least of these. Many parts of the book resonated with me.
Here are three examples.

Jamie writes "There are people of faith who somehow find the place where they are standing on the hilltop, smiling and clean in clothes that match, arms lifted in the sun. I am not one of those Christians. I am mismatched and muddy, and ragged, and if there is a hill I`m falling down it backward with both feet in the air."

When I read this I pictured someone who represents a picture of who I perceive to be "the perfect Christian." I thought of a pastor I know, the most righteous man I have ever known, still married to the same wife, both kids successful and heavily involved in ministry. This pastor confessed his sin from the pulpit, minor stuff I do ever day, and think nothing of. He is approaching 70 still preaching with integrity no scandals, still going strong.
If there is a hill for Christians I want no part of it. I have ran too many hills in training for crazy hills in marathons.
Hill is a four letter word for me. Climbing hills are traps.
Is a shepherd higher up the hill than a King?
When was David more alive, happier, closer to God?

Imagine my surprise when twice in the last month I had examples of others viewing me as the guy on the top of the hill.
Driving to a 5k run that benefitted breast cancer my Mother in law expressed concern about leaving my car in a high school parking lot and taking a shuttle to the race. I told her "I am not worried about something bad happening to me when I am doing some good to help others." Sketchy theology at best with no Biblical backing, but for me I have found this to be true.
She replied "if that was true you would never have anything bad happen to you."
I looked over at her expecting a smile, and saw she was looking straight ahead. Although it is great to have your mother in law believe this of you it shocked me to realize how little she knows of the true me.

At work we are given a yearly review by a superior. Coworkers have charted your year with comments, statistics, etc. If the good outweighs the bad you are given a raise. Vice versa and I guess your wages stays the same or worse.
My last review lasted a long time. At the 10 minute mark I wanted to stop the process and ask if I could make a recording to play back the conversation to my wife for the times when I am less than perfect.
After 30 minutes my manager finished, not one negative comment. I was a bit dizzy and felt like I had just experienced an out of body experience and that someone at work had been masquerading as me for the past year.

In his book Jamie talks about his work in a roller skating rink, he said. "I have never once dreaded going to work at the rink. Never remember having a bad day. Never thought of calling in sick. It`s the lights and the music, the wind in your hair. The smell of hot popcorn and little kids laughing.
Little kids laughing is the voice of God."

When my youngest daughter was in kindergarten she would stay after school and play in the playground with a friend of hers. The sounds of these two little girls laughing and squealing with utter joy without a care in the world lifted my spirit and brings a smile to me many years removed. I think God enjoys these moments most, for this was His purpose, His intention for children.
God does not allow us to feel this sense of contentment forever, for it is a broken world in which we live in and although we are broken ourselves sometimes God wants us to try and help others mend.

One day while watching my daughter play my mind wandered to the lives of other young girls I had learned about. Girls who lived a world away from me. These girls life experience has no joy or laughter. Their squeals came from terror and pain. Torture and misery were part of their everyday existence. My thoughts had taken me to the young girls in Cambodia held as sex slaves.

Tears spilled down my cheek as I thought of the unfairness of life.
These girls and their abusers represent the voice and the will of satan being done on earth.
I so wanted to as much as possible to give the girls in Cambodia a life like my daughters. I wanted satans voice drowned out so these Cambodian girls could hear God`s voice. I realized funding and awareness were the keys to combatting this problem. Taking stock of my life skills I realized I seemed to have no way of making this goal become a reality.

At a crossroad in his life Jamie went to a pastor for advice. Jamie`s pastor told him "God rarely gives specifics. Just start walking and God will show you the way."
My daughter finished kindergarten and moved into grade one. This was a crossroad point for me, for now I had the morning off  before going to work. Running became part of my exercise routine and one day I had the thought why not run a marathon dedicated to Ratanak International and it`s work with oppressed people in Cambodia? A moderate amount of money was raised, a newspaper article appeared so I decided to run another marathon.
For the second marathon a little more money was raised including another newspaper article.

After the second marathon I calculated how much time and money I put into training for my marathons compare to the money raised.
I concluded that if I had put these hours into a minimum wage job and donated the money to Ratanak International I would have made a bigger contribution.
Marathon runners are nothing if not stubborn so despite these figures I ran my third marathon, Boston 2011. Boston is where I thought of having a small 5km walkathon to benefit Ratanak.
 
Things that are torn down and destroyed, things left for dead cannot be restored overnight.
Jesus used the parable of the mustard seed Matthew 13 31-32 "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of all garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches."
Now as I continue running I see part of God`s perfect plan in my life.

Today I just finished another race The Angus Glen Half Marathon. This was race number twenty three for me.
Here is the shirt and the medal.


I love the shirt for my family sees me this way before every race, Ratanak volunteers see me this way before and at each walkathon.

Here are my running medals.


I seem to have accumulated a lot. They have a lot of sentimental value but besides that they are worthless.
Beginning stages of planning for the fifth Ratanak 5km walkathon have begun. I think of a Mayor, M.P.P, Councillor, professional runner, Blue Jay player I will invite over the winter.
I think of the publicity generated and the money raised.
So far the total is over $95 000.

During my time as a volunteer for Ratanak  I have heard examples of former sex slaves as young girls, becoming University educated, and counsellors themselves. I have heard a story of a former victim, a young woman dancing freely with no shame. I have heard stories of young woman being healed enough to move out of programs to live on their own allowing other to take their place and continue healing.

Yes as Jamie`s pastor told him God rarely gives specifics.
For me my life has been just start running, just keep running and God will show the way has been my life the last eight years. 
My running medals have no earthly value but one day I will meet my heavenly treasures.
Larry


  

Tuesday 13 October 2015

Five Weddings Triton Five Kilometers

This was the year of the wedding for me. I had five friends marriages. I attended three. The last wedding we received a gift, the newest family member arrived.
I am not Abraham and Gloria is not Sarah we received a Betta fish.


The bride met her husband on the dating website "Plenty of fish" and thought having a fish at the reception would be a nice touch. The bride asked Gloria if she would be interested in keeping the fish after the reception? Dr Dolittle aka Isabella heard about this offer and we could not say no.
During the ceremony I heard the familiar words "forsaking all others" and wondered why this seems so hard.
This problem has been going on for a long time. In responding to the Pharisees. Matthew 19:8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard."
I have been taught the men of Israel were leaving their wives for younger woman and were looking to be justified.

Back to the fish. I was a nervous wreck at the reception as I had a vision of something bad happening to the fish, such as a guest knocking over the bowl, or a guest pouring something into the bowl.
Finally it was time to take the fish to the safety of our hotel room. Unfortunately the parking lot for the reception hall was full so I had to leave our car at the hotel. This mean`t a very long walk for me.
During my walk three youths were across the road talking, and acting very aggressively. I wondered what to do if they started bothering me?
Fortunately the man in a suit carrying a fish bowl through the park late on a Saturday night attracted none of their interest and I did not have to find out. Next my arms started getting tired and I had visions of me dropping the fish bowl. I compared it to the point in a marathon when things start going South and I have to force myself to keep going.
Fortunately our fish survived and now resides in our aquarium.

I have learned a lot about this type of fish. Isabella named him Triton. Betta fish are native to Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Thailand. I thought if I cannot go to Cambodia at least I have brought a bit of Cambodia to my home.
Betta fish have another name, they are also known as Siamese fighting fish. Triton would not get along with other Betta fish, even females. Triton has a very short list of other possible fish we can introduce him to. Triton in spite of his beauty will probably have a very lonely life.
When we turn on his aquarium light we noticed Triton would charge into the glass. We have since learned this is common with Betta fish as they are attacking their reflection thinking it is a rival.
My oldest Daughter Katarina always tells me "I give out life lessons." Sometimes I am learning them as well.

Triton charging into the glass makes me think about people who let other people and events from their past affect their present life. When things from the past are not dealt with and anger and bitterness still reside we become like Triton smashing into the glass. The people who have hurt us are long gone, the only person getting hurt is ourselves. In some ways until we learn to let go of these negative emotions the person/people who hurt us will always have control over us.

I ran a 5 kilometer race last weekend. A friend once asked me "for a 5 k race would you just get out of bed?" For this one that is what I basically did.
I had a cold\flu that lasted one month, this race was scheduled in the middle of this time. I was still awake at 2.30 a.m. coughing quite a lot, on the downstairs couch as not to disturb Gloria. I ate a bowl of Doritos and chuckled to myself thinking this is not the "carb loading" I should be doing. All in all I got two hours of sleep.


As she takes this picture Katarina says "try to look like you don`t want to kill someone."
Driving to the race I am coughing and my Mother in law is concerned about me running. I tell her not to worry, she responds she always worries. I think back to driving my ninety year old Grandmother somewhere a few years ago and how she was worried about her son. I told her son was sixty something, she responded "you always worry about your children no matter the age."
We are told not to worry in the Bible, but Motherly concern is a beautiful thing and I have been blessed to have every woman of importance in my life having this quality. In some ways I think God is concerned for us in the same way.


The start of the race is a bit exciting. There are many people at this event, I almost ran into a cameraman who was kneeling on the ground I guess to get close ups. I have always wondered how the first runners in a race know how to follow the course (Most of you who know me know I get lost everywhere.) This Sunday I found out. A motorcycle police officer leads the first runners. I know this because somehow I was one of the runners close to the front. The course is flat, the wind is strong, my breathing is very laboured. The 3km sign appears and I think of stopping to walk, this actually encourages me, for this thought comes to mind in every race I have ever run. I think of the reason why I am at this race and I continue running.
The 4km mark a huge hill starts and I get angry at the Race director who decided on this course. I think of people nearing the end of a difficult stretch in their lives and quitting before finishing, not knowing how close they were to finishing. I think of someone I know who has finished chemotherapy, and is now starting radiation, numbness in her hands, and for her every day has become a struggle.
I continue running to the end and came in tenth place. Isabella`s Principal saw me at the run and told Isabella "your Father is an excellent runner." Wait for it, yes wait for it, wait for it a bit more (I have waited eight years) Isabella answered "I know."
Today was not for my results, today was for someone close to me.

I just finished running the CIBC 5k run to end breast cancer with my mother in law and two daughters.
I ran for the past as I have lost two Aunt`s to this disease. Lois who is still remembered fondly and missed dearly. Karmella who sadly I never had the chance to meet.
I ran for the future. A future in which I hope my teenage daughter`s never have to fear.
One in nine woman in Canada will develop breast cancer.
One in twenty nine will die from this.
A sign at the event mentioned "since 1986 mortality from breast cancer has declined 43 percent."
I ran for the present. My Mother is a two year survivor.
Mostly I ran for you Katherine, my sister in law deep into your second battle with this disease.
At the start of the race there was a parade of ladies who were all cancer survivors. I long for the day when pain and fear are not part of your existence. I long for the day when you write, edit, and laugh again. I long for the day when your body is cancer free. I look forward to the day when you take part in your own personal parade.
Today I ran for you Katherine!


Larry

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Sunday 30 August 2015

Change of Season Softening of My Heart

This writing comes as August turns into September. This time of year always evokes conflicting feelings within me. For parents of children in school it is a time when your life speeds up, at least for me. It is a time when most of us long for summer as we taste the fall, and look ahead to winter.

John 11:35 Jesus wept. This is the shortest verse in the Bible and for me the most interesting, and encouraging. Jesus wept at Lazarus`s funeral even though Jesus knew He was to bring Lazarus back from the dead. I believe Jesus wept because of the pain and suffering people on earth experience.
One day I was behind a Grandfather pushing his severely mentally limited granddaughter in a store. The next day on the news I saw the many thousands of migrants risking their lives to flee their own Country to go somewhere, anywhere to leave their oppression behind. I read about a celebrity restaurant person charged with serious crimes against young girls. I tried to look up a quote by a man who fights human trafficking on his website. I was actually sickened by some of the stories I read about, and how some men treat the most vulnerable of our society.
I thought about God and wondered how could He watch everything that unfolds in a day? When I see such a small portion and feel like pulling the covers over my head and never leaving my bed.

My social media friends are very divided. A mention of a hot topic issue seems to bring out much name calling and hatred from both sides. I have stayed quiet on most issues. I have my beliefs. I have very strong, very personal reasons for my beliefs.
I wonder to myself is being quiet being cowardly? Or is being quiet being wise? I have not rushed into the scrum when a free for all has broken out amongst my facebook friends.
Do my Christian friends think I am being lukewarm?
Do my other friends think I agree with all they stand for?
I have been taught to pick my battles wisely. 
"Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." a quote attributed to Francis of Assisi (now there is some dispute about who said this)
Lead by example, do your work with pride, treat your spouse with respect, love your neighbours, live your life without any hint of scandal and people will wonder why you are different and may want to change.
Bruxy Cavey Pastor at The Meeting House when asked about the reaction of some Christians and the angry, hurtful, hateful way they attacked a Christian organization for a difference of opinion. "The Church never gave up its power to hurt and kill. It was taken away, but they never gave it up."
I think about the people who Jesus went after most, the religious hypocrites.
I think about how when the woman caught in adultery was brought to him, Jesus let her go, about how when Jesus met the woman at the well with seven failed marriages. He revealed His true identity to her, she was the first non Jewish person. Jesus also did say "sin no more."
I wonder to myself how can I be more like Jesus? That is to not compromise, but also never to stop loving the people who sin? How can I effectively bring about change? 

At my oldest Daughter`s church dedication a single Mother dedicated her son. I am grateful that this church and the congregation accepted both of them. I am grateful this church offered many programs without judging to help mothers who decide to keep their children.
I am also grateful for the churches who provide counselling for young Mother`s who have decided to terminate pregnancies and struggle with guilt.
I am grateful for the many in my life who have stayed faithful to their spouses and have modeled loving marriages that have lasted more than 50 years.
I am most grateful for my Mother who carried me for nine months, delivered me and allowed me to go to a loving family via adoption.

A Summer meeting of my friends from the Ratanak Toronto core group. Most meetings have a flexible agenda. Prayer for Cambodia is front and center and usually upcoming events are discussed. At one point we usually break into small groups. One hour into the last meeting we felt a heaviness in the room over what many people were facing in their lives and we decided to stay together. Cambodia did not come up but some people who were carrying heavy burdens were covered in prayer, sealed with tears, the kind of prayer that changes things.
I went home feeling surprisingly good. My heaviness was still with me but I felt like doing something positive.


These are weeds on the road in front of my house. This picture is of a small area, the area I wanted to clear out is approximately 200 feet long. I grabbed my shovel and went to work. Two hours later I had removed all the weeds from the road.


What I found surprising was how shallow the roots were. The weeds are large and were growing on top of concrete, yet most came up very easily when I put a little pressure on them.
I thought of the weeds as the trappings of our society. Fame, money, power, sex all are like those weeds, satan is the root of these weeds. They look to bring you happiness but nothing shallow will satisfy.

"Life is short have an affair." Used to be the slogan for the much in the news dating website for married couples.
My slogan would be "life is short, join a cause."
I think of the number of members to this website over 39 million. I think of each member donating one dollar to a charity and think of the good that can come from 39 million dollars.
At a recent family get together a young girl found an old real estate sign of my Father`s, and walked around the room with it in front of her. Most family members laughed, not me for a young girl holding up a for sale sign in front of herself struck a nerve. 
I think of all the pain and suffering in this world and how God expects us to run towards it and not away from it.
I think of the words to a Sia song and how easy it would be to let the pain in this world overwhelm me.

Elastic Heart
You did not break me
I`m still fighting for peace

I`ve got thick skin and an elastic heart
But your blade it might be too sharp
I`m like a rubber band until you pull too hard
I may snap and I move fast
But you won`t see me fall apart
Cos I`ve got an elastic heart

You did not break me
I`m still fighting for peace

The reason so many in this world are able to continually enter into the areas of darkness and hopelessness is not because of any outstanding qualities of our own. It is because of who sustains us. When training for a marathon I run by many tree roots such as these.

These roots cannot be lifted by a shovel, these roots will not let the tree be pulled up by hand as I was able to do to the weeds. When you are involved in issues of the World that Jesus cares deeply about He is your root.

Larry



 

Saturday 25 July 2015

Number Thirty Seven

Blog number 37, viewer 6 000 + 
Each post I think may be my last. I hope to be authentic and original in my writing. I never want it to be lukewarm, watered down, or nostalgic.  
I thought I was going to take some time off writing and running. I have been told by many people to write a book, none of them are authors or editors. (possibly these people want to stop reading my blog) This is my latest writing of what I thought was to be my summer off. Images appeared to me and I felt I was to write what they represent.

By taking the bite of the fruit and offering it to her husband Adam; Eve (worlds first woman) dipped her foot in the pool that is known as sin.
Cain, Eve`s first born son murdered his brother Abel, and jumped into the pool of sin head first as a lot of men are prone to do.


This is a picture of our family pool while some work was being completed. To me it represents what sin looks like. 
Any man who abuses, humiliates, or tortures a child is stepping into this filthy water. Unfortunately they take their victims with them.



This is a picture of our pool now. To me it represents what God`s plan is for our lives. For some reason even though we should know better we are prone to immerse ourselves in the upper picture, more than the lower.

I have already started planning long range for my next year races. Next spring I will embark on a week long run to my marathon destination. Hopefully I will than run a full marathon. This required a driver, checked off. Wife permission?
Last weekend Gloria and I watched a documentary on desert runners. Four runners tried to run races that took place in four different deserts over the course of a year. Each race consisted of four days of an almost marathon. The fifth day is a 100 km race to the finish line. The temperature in The Sahara desert on the day of the long run was 50 C or 122 F. One runner collapsed, one runner died. I could not imagine the will power, the mental strength needed to finish this race.
Strangely it appealed to me. I asked Gloria if she would ever let me try this race? A very resounding no came back to me, seconded by Katarina.
I guess what I have planned seems mild in comparison and I have indeed been granted wife permission.

One day I walked into my side yard to witness the beginning of an aftermath of destruction.



 Lucy, one of our families cats had caught a baby mouse and was "playing" with it. Isabella put Lucy in the house and put the baby mouse in a shoe box.
I called a wildlife center to ask for advice. Isabella was very upset. I hugged her and told her the best chance for this mouse was to have it`s mother come back for it. I also told Isabella I was praying for the mouse. I did pray but resisted the temptation to promise anything if God somehow saved this mouse, experience has taught me I am not very good at keeping my rash promises.
After a while the baby mouse was put into a place where we thought its nest was. A few minutes later Lucy somehow got out of the house and found the mother mouse. After putting Lucy back into the house again, we looked after the mother.

We put the mother mouse in the same vicinity as we had put the baby. Isabella gave an up to the minute report of hearing the mother making noise, and not seeing the baby.
After a while Isabella did not hear any mouse noises, and could not find either mouse. Whether or not they were reunited I do not know, I hope so, I prayed so.

Some friends and family members weighed in on this story. "Mice are rodents, and a nuisance." "You and your daughter could not live on a farm." "Your daughter has to be less sensitive."
Some of my thoughts after reflection. Does the world we live in need more rational, cold, passionless, judgemental people? Could the world not use more passionate, caring, loving people willing to do whatever necessary to help those in need? God made my daughter this way, and though I know she has a tough road ahead, and have wondered about such a heart in this world. I would not change this part of her makeup.

This story resonated with me on so many different levels. Lucy represented the pedophiles, the baby mouse represented the victims in Cambodia and others places in the world, Isabella and myself represented the reaction of the people of this world. Lucy is a cat and does not know any better, but still she terrorized these mice. The pedophiles in Cambodia have no such excuse. I again am reminded at being told by a very wise woman many years ago "Do not even try to understand the evil that is behind the abuse of these children." I cannot for the life of me understand what could motivate a human being to derive pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on another, especially a child.

I have always been surprised at the number of men compared to women in the area of my involvement as a volunteer for Ratanak International and their work in helping victims of trafficking, and sexual exploitation. A rough estimate to me seems to be that eight out of ten volunteers are women. 
In the earlier story my first reaction was to be angry, and punish Lucy.
Many men I know talk about what they would like to do to the men who abuse women and children. This is a normal, acceptable reaction. But it is not enough!
Too often we as men overlook the victim. If I am mad at Lucy but ignore the baby mouse I am failing in my duty, because possibly I was made aware of the situation more to help the victim, than to punish the perpetrator.
 
To save the baby mouse I was willing to take a day off work, drive it to a wildlife shelter, and pay whatever fee was expected. I did not worry of the cost, or time, or whatever others thought of me.
My reaction encouraged me as I think of my role in the bringing of justice to woman and children in Cambodia.
I do love animals myself  but my reaction to help was based upon how much it broke my heart to see how much my daughter was hurting for this baby mouse.

I am a marathon runner. Most marathon runners are not complex. A shirt in a recent race summed up mine and many other of my fellow runners thoughts "left, right repeat for 26.2 miles."
I have no long range plans, or ways to bring about the change I so long to see.
BUT God has given me a passion, and a dream to see the buying and selling of young woman and children in Cambodia for sexual exploitation end. How? When? Who will be involved?  I do not know? But I do know that God cares more about me and my hurt at the victims in Cambodia than I cared about Isabella`s pain.
God also cares more about the victims in Cambodia`s pain than Isabella did for the baby mouse.
God is not limited in his resources, and time as I am. I plod along now "left, right repeat" for as long as it takes.
But God knows how, when, and who will bring about His desired change.

Larry


  

Friday 19 June 2015

Ratanak 2015 5km Walkathon

Toronto Ratanak core group = Celebrity apprentice.
I have a confession that surprises many people. One of my favourite television shows is The celebrity apprentice.
On the surface it seems out of character for me to like a reality show, especially one that was created by, and stars Donald Trump.

Upon closer examination I see many similarities between the show, and my experience as a member of The Toronto Ratanak core group, especially the last four walkathon`s as fundraisers that we as a group have put on.
On the show Donald Trump divides the celebrities into two teams and assigns each team a task. Each team selects a project manager.
The winning team is given a lot of money to the project managers charity of choice. The losing team has three member face Donald Trump in the boardroom, one will be fired and forced to leave the show.

Gary Busey has appeared twice and was very popular for his eccentricity. The core group has not had anyone quite as unique as Gary but we had have a few interesting people especially in the early days.
John Little is a rapper who has appeared on the show twice. He never lost a task. Twice he was the assistant to the overall winner. He worked very selflessly, and efficiently behind the scenes.
Paul Wan is our John Little.
Meatloaf had a classic meltdown on an episode in which he accused Gary Busey of stealing his paint supplies, and looked like he was going to kill Gary. Minutes later Meatloaf was crying about what his charity mean`t to him.
Sound like anyone you know?

After the show most celebrities talk about how intimidating it was facing Donald Trump. I have known Lisa Cheong for ten years.
The calm, smiling Lisa we see now is worlds away from the one who used to organize Conferences. I have stood before Lisa when things have started to unravel and I would take my chances with Donald Trump.

The biggest difference between the Toronto core group and Celebrity apprentice is the reaction when things start getting tough.
On the celebrity apprentice the stars start cheating, lying, yelling, trying every last effort to stay on the show.
The Toronto core group is united. We believe and trust in each other. We treat each other with respect and in tough moments instead of placing blame and pointing fingers. We pray and wait for God to make His appearance.

This past weekend we held the fourth annual Ratanak 5km walkathon.
Do you know what the weather will be like on February 20 2016? If you had an event could you predict the attendees? If you had a fundraiser on this day could you predict an amount?
This is a challenge I am faced with every year, booking an event eight months in advance.
Oct 13 2014 is the day Erindale Park was booked for the walkathon. At about the same time the monetary goal of $25 252 was set.

The date was picked because I have a complicated work schedule and it was the best Saturday in June for me. The goal was set with a few fun numbers from my running distances, and the constant belief of five and two. We are offering Jesus our five loaves and two fish allowing Him to do His multiplication.
God is going forward and not standing still or going backwards in the fight against the sexual exploitation of children so it is important that we try and do likewise. Consistent with this theme the goal represented a 26% increase over last years goal.

For me this year was a grind. I had many people promise me things only to back out. I had two politicians confirm for the walk, start waffling two weeks before, and eventually not show up. I had an Olympic Canadian Marathoner express interest in the event, and than ignore my requests for a commitment. I had a very negative, obnoxious email from a previous donor.
The two months leading up to the walk seemed to me like the twelve mile mark in my recent Pittsburgh Marathon where the runners had to run up a steep hill over one mile in length on a hot day.
The rest of the run was a struggle that I don`t think I recovered from.

 
My donation page was not moving while others were in full swing. It is a team game I know and yet I wondered if I was doing something wrong. I remembered the story of Jonah from the Bible. I thought of Jonah drawing the shortest straw with the sailors and being thrown overboard.
I remembered a task from the celebrity apprentice that was a fundraiser in which a former star could not get anyone to come out to the event and make a donation. It was sad to see this former star looking so pitiful.
I felt like this man.

On Wednesday about $10 000 had been raised. A business person asked me how things were going? I responded stressful and the money was a bit slow. She responded it was all relative. She was right for monetary goals we set are relative. Every dollar helps and I cannot get caught up in the numbers. I said many times God will bring every person He wants to the event, and we will raise the exact dollar amount that He wants, not one dollar more, not one dollar less.

Friday morning we were at about $13 000. I was hoping a broadcast from The Twinfish restaurant would help bring us closer to our goal.

Saturday June 13 at 1.00 a.m by my calculations $16 444 had been raised. Leaving $8 808 to the goal. I think in my mind the white flag of surrender has been raised.
I went to sleep content that I had done my best, we had raised a large amount of money to a great cause, but if God did not show up in a big way we would come up short.
Friday the weather was terrible, Sunday rained all day.
Saturday I drove to the park looking at the overcast skies and prayed for good weather.


The walk itself is such an incredible time. A group of passionate, caring, united, selfless people walking to bring restoration and healing to hurting people a world away is an event that is the highlight of my year.
No one wanted to leave. I think I left the park at 1.30 p.m.

7.30 p.m the update I receive is about $20 000. In the back of my head I think we may reach our goal, but than doubt sinks in and I think no way.
9.30 p.m I am sent a text. WE HAVE REACHED OUR GOAL! My first thought was shock and than gratitude that the God of the universe would entrust me and my hands of clay with His treasure`s of the Universe exploited children in Cambodia. I am shocked at not only reaching but surpassing the goal. At time of publishing we are at $27 444.

Matthew 19:14 Jesus said "let the little Children come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." 
Sometimes in pursuit of numbers we can lose sight of what is most important. My original thought for the walkathon was young girls in Canada walking for girls in Cambodia who cannot. 42 of our participants were 18 years or younger. 31 were under 12 years. The vast majority were girls.

This picture shows a man using his hands to hold up and embrace a young beautiful girl. This is a stark contrast to what many girls in Cambodia have suffered at the hands of men from North America.


Going forward I want to rest, to reflect, to enjoy, to savour the feeling of God`s favour. My body needs to heal.
Some crazy thoughts have already begun. I have run seven full Marathons. I believe I am to stop at ten.
Cambodia has a full Marathon in the month of August. I could not imagine the heat, yet what a powerful run that would be; running in the very Country in which I have tried to run for freedom.
Buffalo has a marathon in the Spring. I have thought why not the opposite Neil Boron? Take a week off work to run from Mississauga to Buffalo, and than run Buffalo`s Marathon.
Vancouver has a marathon as well. Part of the race goes through Stanley Park, a park where a Canadian pedophile was arrested after torturing a prostitute. Pornography was found in his belongings with Cambodian children. Enter Brian McConaghy than of the R.C.M.P into the world of exploitation in Cambodia, eventually enter me, enter you.
Chicago has a huge marathon, Ratanak USA is in this City.
The New York marathon is another major marathon of which I have also expressed an interest.
Mississauga marathon would be a nice way to finish up my racing days at the place it all started.

The last seven years of my life have had a consistent theme.
My yard work as always is a mess. I have so much work to do. I will have to get busy pulling weeds from my back yard, a task I should had done a long time ago but was too busy, too tired, too stressed out by having a full marathon, and a walkathon in a six week period.

However I know in Heaven I will not have any weeds to pull, but I will be sitting with Cambodian children.
Larry

 

Tuesday 5 May 2015

Runner of Steel

Do you ever think you are in control? Do you try to take control?
I always do.
I had numerous reminders this past weekend showing me just how little control I have over my life.
This weekend was a family trip to Pittsburgh. I always get lost driving so my family relies on G.P.S when we go on an out of town vacation. The G.P.S sent us past the downtown district to a very rough looking area. With each block the area and the area`s inhabitants look rougher. I tell my Daughter`s to roll up their windows as I start getting unnerved. Gloria tells me "the G.P.S may get our tires slashed. Finally the G.P.S tells us we have arrived at our destination. "Our destination" is a boarded up building with cars stripped of all their valuables sitting on concrete blocks.
I pull the car into a store parking lot and back the car up to face the street entrance ready to make a quick escape if necessary. I tell my family to open the car doors for no one as I go in the store to ask for directions. We eventually find our hotel, we figured out we neglected to put the postal code in the address allowing for our misadventure.
What may seem funny now was very frightening when it happened.
We park the car in the underground garage picking a total random spot and the first of so many "coincidences" take place.
We end up parking in spot 262 as in 26.2 miles I am to run on Sunday. Or what I think is planned for me to run 10 full Marathons which equal 262 miles.

Because of a shortage of time Saturday morning we eat our breakfast at the Hotel knowing full well how much more we are going to pay. Our waiter is a loud, friendly, seemingly slow man.
I read on the reviews for our hotel about this waiter owning a store and I asked him about it.
What followed next was 15 minutes of wisdom expressed most beautifully. Gloria teared up first. I thought to myself I am in the presence of a modern day Prophet. I thought of Heaven and knew that this man has a place of honour at Jesus`s right side, and I had the privilege of meeting him in person while on earth.
Saturday morning was supposed to be a surprise, but try keeping two teenage girls away from a surprise. My two beautiful girls have learned that they are to be part of a dog walk to benefit an animal rescue wildlife center. Ann Yeager the Director and myself had been in correspondence for a few months. She has arranged for friends to "lend" us their dogs for this walk. We actually were V.I.P`s at this event.
The dog walk is amazingly fun. In keeping with my running tradition no one in my family won.

Race day Sunday morning getting on the elevator I exchange pleasantries with two couples. The older couple are there to cheer on their daughter. The younger couples are both runners. The younger man is trying "his first and probably last marathon." The older Father and I exchange a knowing glance. The Father says "he hears this after every race." I may not say it out loud but many times I have thought it.

The start of the race is very slow. A City street is not built for having 30 000 runners on it at the same time.
I run over five bridges this day. On one of the bridges I had these thoughts.

 
I think of  Matthew 16:18 and the gates of hell.
Instead of a bridge I see forces of evil striking at, trying to knock open a door to a building. Inside the building are girls of various ages. Girls rescued from sex slavery in Cambodia, girls on their way to a new life. I see a hand seal the doors and windows from the inside. Evil cannot penetrate this building as this hand is from Heaven.
Brian, Lisa, Don you are building your church on the land in front of the bodies of Cambodian children and the gates of hell shall not prevail.

7 mile mark I hear very loud applause for me. My camouflage shorts are very popular as I run past a military school whose students are decked out in their own camou.

9 mile mark My first low point. I think to myself  What are you doing here? What difference will it make? Why don`t you quit? You are not the man for this!
To make matters worse I figured that 9 miles out of 26.2 is barely one third of the way finished. Consistent with every marathon I have run numerous body parts have started acting up and I know this will only get worse.

12 mile mark Another low point. "Half marathoners go to the left, full marathoner`s go to the right" the loudspeakers tell the runners. Psychologically this is always very hard seeing most of the runners turn off who have one mile to finish, while the rest of us are not even half way finished. To make matters worse the next 12 miles are going to be uphill.
The biggest hill I have ever ran is next, it is over one mile straight up. After running this gigantic hill it took me two full miles to recover my breathing.

16 mile mark I feel something is off in my body, but I do not know what. I do know I will be most fortunate if whatever is bothering me does not come out before the race is finished.

18 mile mark I run through a very festive area. Reggae music blares at me. People from this neighbourhood are dancing with such enthusiasm I am envious of their energy. An older woman offers me a full bottle of water. I accept taking my time to make sure I drink the whole bottle. I thank her and she blesses me.

19 mile mark Another huge hill. I actually get upset and think "come on another one." I did read the elevation chart of this marathon and trained many miles on hills this past winter, but running these hills is another thing and I do see why Pittsburgh takes pride is calling itself "the hilliest marathon in America."

20 mile mark My right calf starts twitching. Afraid of cramps I place my hand on my calf and pray.

21 mile mark My right calf has started spasming. I step on the curb and stretch it out. This alleviates the pain and I continue.

22 mile mark My right hamstring has a feeling like electric currents starting up. Seconds later wave upon wave of spasms continually move up and down my right leg. Stretching against the curb, than even a light standard do nothing to alleviate the intense pain.
I hobble down the road not able to put my full weight on my right leg.
A volunteer tells me the first aid tent is up ahead on the right. I shake my head no and ignore her continuing on.

23 mile mark Hearing my name mentioned jolts me out of my focus on the pain. I wrote this line on a board at the expo thinking nothing of it. Gloria snapped a picture, and the volunteer told me my saying would be mentioned during the race.

The m.c`s exact words were "People make some noise for Larry Dearlove of Canada who is running this race for Cambodian children." As the applause started tears start streaming down my face.
I think of the perfect timing of this source of encouragement and only God could pull this off.
Not finished yet, a song I wrote about in a previous blog by Sia is played on the loudspeaker. This is a song that the lyrics spoke to me of girls in Cambodia receiving healing as I struggle to finish a marathon.

Chandelier

Little girls you were hurt
Can`t feel anything, when will this end?
You push it down, push it down

But I`m holding on for dear life, I won`t look ahead won`t open my eyes
Keep my legs strong until the finish line, cause I`m just holding on for the line
Help me, I`m holding on for dear life, won`t look ahead, won`t open my eyes
Keep my legs strong until the finish line, cause I`m just holding on for the line
Cause I`m just holding on for the line, just holding on for the line
 
25 mile mark I hear the roar of the crowd leading to the finish. An enthusiastic spectator runs onto the course and I fist bump him.

26.2 mile The finish line I shuffle across the line. Long gone were any thoughts of a fast time. I finish in 3 hours and 38 minutes, my second worst time ever. The m.c says congratulations you are a Runner of Steel.
I am elated! I run for God`s glory and my destiny today was to struggle through this race.

This wall of inspiration is the biggest reason I choose to run this race. I wanted to publicly write out why I would run a marathon.
I was offered a choice of silver or gold for my marker. I choose gold, as gold is given to the best. I know the girls I run for have a crown of gold waiting for them in Heaven.

Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
I may never see your face
But you are the reason I finished this race

Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
I may never know your name
But He has wiped away your shame

Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
A brothel is a place of terror and fear
Today He has dried your tears

Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
Your abusers hands have been removed
Today your life will be improved

Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
You were never given a choice
Today He has silenced your accusers voice

Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
Today I ran for one
Today I ran for you
Today I ran for one
Today I ran for me
A consistent reward of finishing a marathon is seeing my wife Gloria, the most beautiful woman in the world waiting for me at the finish line.
On a scale of 100 being the most difficult this race was a 98. I do not say 100 because that may still be coming. Physically it was much harder than any other race I have ran, including Boston.
I do know things are going to unravel in a marathon despite all my training. This is because of the spiritual element. When you say you are running a race in the belief that it can make a difference in the freedom of a person I believe you set yourself up to be a target.
My reward in a race are those moments when God appears.
Sunday I believe one child was moved closer to their spiritual freedom during my marathon. 
In closing my family and I loved the City of Pittsburgh, but I will never, ever, ever run in their marathon again.

June 13 is The 5km walkathon to support Ratanak International at Erindale Park in Mississauga more information can be found at 5kmwalkathon.com
Text WALK to 855-950-0303 to register Text HOPE to donate
I will be at the walkathon, but I will not be running.

Larry

 

Monday 6 April 2015

26 Days Until 26.2 Miles

 When you sign up for an event far in advance the hardest part of motivating yourself is when the event seems a long way off. This is week four of six weeks of intense training and for the first time in a long time I think I actually may be ready to run a full marathon May 3. This year I will definitely not peak too early as this year has been a much tougher grind than normal.
A few questions I am asked often are, how can you run for so long? Are you not bored? Do you listen to music?
As I mention in this article highlighted below, running down my ravine is my calm away from the storms of life. I would not want to miss anything by listening to music.

http://viewer.zmags.com/publication/ccac84aa#/ccac84aa/64


Somehow I have picked the race that boasts on it`s website of being the hilliest marathon in America. Gloria asked me why I would pick this particular race. After I finish it I will reveal the two powerful reasons that are worth the extra challenges these hills will mean in this marathon.
These are a few thoughts I have had during my long training runs this year.

The Past
I have been told I do not have enough humour in my life. I have been told I am too serious. I have been told I do not smile enough. This probably is true as whatever I am doing at any given time I know young girls in Cambodia are being abused and I can not enjoy the moment as much as I should.
I ran the Boston Marathon in 2011. My family came with me for support.
There is a series of hills near the end of the race, one even has been given a name it is called Heartbreak hill.
In Boston you have a generic bib, in that you are given a number but your name does not appear on your bib.
Imagine my surprise at the twenty mile mark right before Heartbreak hill I hear "Larry, Larry." I look up into the crowd and see my Mother and brother waving at me. I wonder to myself where is my Father?
I did not have long to wait for stepping out between two machine gun carrying Marines right onto the course is my Father. Talk about making an appearance!
My Father was jumping up and down, calling out my name, and waving his camera at me. My response was to angrily yell "Dad I cannot stop for a picture." My Mother to this day still laughs at me for thinking my Father wanted me to stop for a picture at this moment.
To myself I thought if I have enough energy to have anger I should be okay to finish this race.

The Present
Running on a path that is not cleared all winter presents some challenges. One day the wind made my long run even more difficult. A long stretch of the path was clear of snow followed by a long stretch of path which had hardened snow four feet deep, followed by another long stretch of a clear path.
Struggling mightily part way through the deep snow my eyes started stinging as some sun tan lotion I had put on my face went into my eyes. As I looked at the long distance I still had to cover a four letter word came to mind. Easy.  How much easier this run would have been if the wind had not moved the snow like this.
Down my ravine there is nowhere to hide physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Immediately I thought of a series of questions dealing with the word easy.
How easy is it to train for a marathon?
How easy is it to complete a marathon?
How easy is it to bring awareness for others who suffer in a far away Country to a selfish world?
How easy is it for the one`s who have suffered to be brought to a complete healing?
How easy was the life and death of Jesus?
Thank you Lord for the road less travelled you have chosen for me. Thank you for hardships, for they make me appreciate good times. Thank you for the pain that comes before triumphs.
Thank you for the times of struggles for they make me stronger. 
Forgive me for wanting an easy life. Please remove this word from my vocabulary.
 
"In trying to bring freedom, I have experienced freedom myself" is the quote I finished with in the recent article.
The freedom I have experienced is the freedom from the tyranny of things.
I have no desire to climb corporate ladders. I have no desire to add letters beside my name. I have no desire to have my name in lights.
I have no desire to live in a bigger house, buy a newer car, or compete with my neighbours.
I do have a burning desire to bring freedom to hurting people.
This is the elevation chart of my upcoming marathon.


To prepare for this I will run Centennial Ski hill hundreds of times in training. What I have come to realize is being free from the tyranny of things allows me to enjoy the view from the top of this hill.






Being a slave to the things of this world would have me constantly climbing this hill, and even when reaching the top, never stopping to enjoy the view.


The Future
I will not run marathon`s for the rest of my life. I have to be careful not to be like one of those athletes who hold on for too long. I have an exit strategy God willing.
After Pittsburgh my long range plan is to run three more full marathons, bringing the total to ten.
I hope to run another Major marathon in an American city my family has never been to. I hope to run in a destination marathon that would require my family to fly to get to the city. (sorry Lisa and Steve it is not Cambodia.) I hope to finish my marathon career where it all began at the Mississauga Marathon.
The last year would be a celebration. During my longest training run I thought of not shaving for that entire year. Only shaving after the marathon. This would be a challenge as I hate the feeling of facial hair. I would also probably have a pretty "lonely" year as I am sure Gloria may not be a big supporter of her husband looking like a family member of Duck Dynasty.
On the positive I could see this being a great way to bring awareness for Ratanak International. Also my family may raise a significant amount of money to see me clean shaven again.
As you can see running for over three hours down my ravine may be challenging but it is far from boring and when the day comes to stop I will miss it.
Larry