Just 13 Girls

This is my favourite writing.  It was written in 2010 after the Mississauga Marathon.  This was by far the most difficult, yet most rewarding marathon I have ever ran.  The rocks I wrote about are set up in my backyard as a constant reminder that the girls in Cambodia are Not Forgotten. In a radio interview I quoted from a song that sums up why I run.   Just a Girl No Doubt   Take this pink ribbon from my eyes    I`m exposed   And it`s no big surprise   Don`t you think I know   Exactly where I stand   This world is forcing me   To hold your hand   I`m just a girl, all pretty and petite   So don`t let me have any rights   I`m just a girl in the world   That`s all you`ll let me be   I`m just a girl, living in captivity  I am sending some thoughts to you and my results from today.  Much like a race itself you do not know the results right until the end, so it will be here. Did anybody see the movie UP.  Right now I am walking around my house much like the old man cartoon character did in the movie.  My pain will go away while the ones I run for will not have this luxury tomorrow. On the drive to the race my father had 'Be thou my vision' on his c.d player.  I had him play it twice as I pondered what will my vision be today? I had a sleepless Saturday night.  Chuck Liddell a former U.F.C champion earned the nickname 'The Iceman.'   As he would be sound asleep in his dressing room before a big fight and would have to be woken up.  His trainer said 'you must have ice in your veins.'   I am not as fortunate as I realised everything was totally different from last year. Last year I was injured in my training and I had doubts about the how well I would be able to run.  Just getting to the starting line was a relief and I had no real goal or time just to finish.  The stress of the previous six weeks were gone and I walked up to the starting line calm and relaxed. This year was totally different my training was excellent!  I was healthy, my daughters were healthy, I even had picked up a 'Fundraising Manager'  my father.  All these things allowed me to train very efficiently.  I had noticed an almost awe like tone in various people who heard about someone who had ran faster than the average person in races.  For a Marathon Boston is the place to be.  There is a very high standard a runner has to achieve before they are allowed to enter this race, simply put it is like The Olympics of Marathon running. Three months ago I noticed my times were on pace to qualify me for The Boston Marathon.  Quietly I kept this to myself but I started making this my goal.  One day while running I thought aim for Boston next year and use the knowledge, experience, contacts, and credibility to organise a small maybe 5km walk/run race.  If even 100 people show up and raise $50 each that is $5 000 dollars for Ratanak, not bad for one days work!  The bonus is I would make sure I was in an administrative role so I could watch the others run. So now all I had to do was to run The Mississauga Marathon in less than 3 hours 31 minutes. I shared yesterday at a meeting how my training took me far down the Etobicoke Creek Trail at the end of this trail there is an island like piece of land where if the water is low I could cross on a path of rocks. I than would run over many rocks which may have been covered over by water the day before.  It was a surreal, and beautiful experience. On my long 12 to 23 mile runs I took to picking up rocks that caught my eye.  I thought these rocks represent girls in Cambodia who have been freed from sexual slavery. Overall I picked up 13 rocks/girls.   As I lined up to start I thought 13 girls represent 1 girl every 2 miles I must run today. Last year I wrote how The girls from NewSong were able to help me as I felt they were all around me on the race course.  This year I realised things were going to be quite different.  I had picked up the 13 rocks from the stream bed down my Ravine and put them in a sack but this year the time I wanted to complete this race would put all 13 of them back in my sack and I would have to carry them on my back as far as I could when I ran.  I would be allowed to take them out of the sack at various times during the race finalising their safety. The gun goes off and I am off to a fast start which is part of my plan, as last year I got stuck in a large pack of slower than myself runners and wasted a lot of time and energy swerving through them.   3 km mark I am sweating not a good sign as it is hot outside and running on asphalt that has been heated up by the Sun was going to be a challenge. I release the Ratanak Logo shaped rock my vision is revealed to me a line from a song sang by freed slaves many years ago.   I hear a little voice singing ' no more auction block for me.' My pack feels light and I am literally tearing up the race course.  I do not know the exact distance but the next two rocks  I take out of my pack bring me great joy.   S.N. for you Lisa.  Next comes L, yes for you Charlene. Two more faint voices 'no more auction block for me.' I am really feeling good, but I am sweating quite a lot. Each race has certain people who are called pacers they are volunteers who run a certain pace to help other runners achieve their goals. At my Marathon they wore bunny ears hence the name pace bunnies.   At the start I picked a spot between the 3.15 and the 3.30 bunny. I thought no matter what happens I cannot let the 3.30 bunny pass me. At the 18 km mark me and another man cruise by the 3.15 pace bunny. He turns to me and says 'we are on pace for a 3.10 Marathon.'   I am releasing various rocks and hearing the faint voices sing 'no more auction block for me' but although my time is very good and I have released many rocks my pack seems to be getting heavier and I am starting to labour.  My month long cold seems to be catching up with me.   24 km to 28 km the 3.15 bunny overtakes me I have not only hit the wall I feel the wall has crashed in on me.  I cannot begin to describe the feeling that came over me than, exhaustion, discouragement, despair, hopelessness are insufficient to describe my state of mind.  Looking back I believe the enemy of my soul  who was restrained as I trained for this run was allowed to take his best shots at me than.  What to do?  Pray?  Good idea!   One of the most brutally honest prayers of my life.  'Lord if I am chasing my glory than let me quit, but if you have called me to this than find a way for me to finish for I feel I cannot go on.  Send me an angel to strengthen me.   I was sent my Angel! I had a certain rock I wanted to take right to the finish line.  This girl has had one of the most miserable lives that I know of.  A Canadian man made pornographic video tapes with her when she was very young.  She is still in Prostitution right now, it is the only life she has ever known.  She is lost right now afraid and un trusting of the only people who actually care for and would love to help her.  She once asked does anybody know or care about me?  She is someone Brain McConaghy has prayed for even on the point of exhaustion.  The NewSong Center is half named after her.  The lady I am to take out of my pack is no other than Sung, my very unlikely Angel but if anything I thought I have to finish today if even just for her.  Her voice is louder and deeper; tinged with far more sorrow than the other girls but a glimmer of hope goes into me 'no more auction block for me.'   The enemy of my soul sees this spark and tries to put it out immediately.  My legs start cramping, not just my calves, but my hamstrings, and even my front right quadriceps muscle.  I had to use all of my effort for the next while not to have a leg buckle underneath me. Last year I noticed signs as I ran.  This year my focus and now my challenges kept me from noticing too many outside influences.  Someone with chalk had written 'Surrender' at the 30 km mark. I guess someone has a warped sense of humour.  Another spark is put in me as I angrily shake my head NO!  The only surrender here today will be the enemies grasp on these girls once and for all.  I will not surrender today!  I must finish this race!  The next 6 kms are pure torture between keeping my legs stable and my mental state, it was definitely not  fun. 36 km  I take the matching rocks out of my pack. They were picked up on my longest run of training 23 miles.  I feel they are sisters possibly even twins.  I dig deep and keep going 'no more auction block carries to me over the crowd.   38 km a voice from the crowd.  My race bib has my name on it.  A man shouts encouragement 'Keep it up Larry, your form looks great and your camouflage even better.' Interesting in two years I have never been asked about my choice of outfit.  I ran with 1700+ people on Sunday I was the only one dressed like this.  To me my run is a day of battle, a day of war.  Solomon mentions a time for everything even War, hence my outfit. I think of a another man who was said to have a Heart after God.  He made many mistakes but God still used him very mightily.  Before fighting the Giant Goliath; David said he had killed a Bear, and a Lion so what was Goliath to him? I thought maybe last year I defeated a Bear, this year I am in a fierce battle with a ferocious Lion.  Perhaps I am being prepared for a battle next year with some kind of Giant.  On the surface that does not look like good news but the spark became a fire within me, as by looking at the times after the race I actually ran the last 4 km in a pace similar to what I ran earlier in the race.  Now I can see the finish line.  I actually sprint the last 50 metres, as I cross the line I think one more rock to take out of sack. I do not know her name, she is tiny, she is beautiful, she is unmarked, and bears no scars physical,sexual or spiritual.  Yes this precious little rock has never been or ever will be subjected to sexual abuse. Her chorus is a little different than the other girls' I never was on the auction block.'   A band plays a song at the finish line that means a lot to a group of people I know who went to Cambodia last year and the girls they bonded with all who probably are still on the Auction block. Joy from my core group you were in that park.  The Song was 'no woman no pride, no woman no cry.'   With the stress of the race over and my pack finally empty comes my reward.  I wrote before sometimes a touch of Heaven reaches out and gives us just a glimpse a small taste of what it will be like. All 13 girls appear before me.  They are various size and ages.  Most are from Cambodia. Two are from Vietnam, and one is from Thailand. Angels cannot sing better than this. They sing   No more auction block for me   No more, no more   No more auction block for me   Many thousands gone   No more strange man`s hands on me   No more, no more   No more rapes of me   Many thousands gone   No more being sold for me   No more, no more   No more beatings for me   Many thousands gone   No more auction block for me   No more, no more   No more auction block for me   Many thousands gone   Now back to visible reality.  My Mother and Father, my wife and two daughter`s greet me at the finish line.  In football a game ball is given to a most valuable player.  I wear my own shirt so my Father is given my Mississauga Marathon shirt.  He worked diligently, tirelessly, and efficiently in raising funding for the NewSong Center and released me to train. My Mom hugs me and as a picture is being taken says 'try not to look so tired Larry.'  Thanks Mom.   Gloria my most beautiful wife kisses me an whispers I am so proud of you! I am proud of her not once did she complain or question the many hours I put into preparing for today. Katarina gave me my gift on Thursday she said 'I know why you are running, I know what has happened to those girls and I am proud of you.'  Although saddened a 10 year old has to know about such things, how about the 10 year old girls in Cambodia who not only know about these things but have experienced them repeatedly for at least the last four years. Do you believe in miracles?  I am starting to.  Isabella precious, beautiful Isabella the same girl who last year told me 'Daddy you did terrible', the same girl who said only a top ten finish would be acceptable for me this year.  Isabella ran and gave me a big hug and said 'Daddy you did very well, I am also proud of you.'   Now to the end the finish line so to speak.  Was I chasing my own glory?  Was I mistaken in my goals?  Would I let you guys, God and the girls of Cambodia down. 1717 people ran this years Mississauga Marathon.  I finished 126th. I needed my time to be better than 3 hours 31 minutes. I finished in 3 hours 19 minutes. I am indeed going to run in The Boston Marathon next year. (which I have) Hopefully in two years organize a small race. (which has been done.) Thank you  Larry

Two Down One To Go

A newspaper article I read in The Toronto Star last September intrigued me.  A chalkboard wall was set up with words in downtown Toronto.  People were encouraged to fill in the blanks in the sentence "Before I die I want to..."

 

As you can imagine there

was a list of answers,

here are some.

Before I die I want to...

Buy a cute puppy

Have a swinger party

Meet Jesus

Take off the mask

Go to space

Make life count

Find my passion

 

After much thought, if I was given the power of one wish that I could write on this board I would write:

Before I die I want to see the day when the practise of

buying and selling children to be sexually exploited for profit in Cambodia ends forever!

 

One day while I was looking at something on my blog Isabella happened into the room. I showed her something I had written about her.  Isabella noticed how many people had looked at my blog, and was very impressed with this number.  I told her this was for all time not just today and a look I am used to from her (high hopes coming down) came over her face.  She than asked me if I knew "how many views Justin Bieber has?" with complete honesty I told her "I had no idea."

Isabella as she so often does took our conversation in another direction as she asked me "Would you like Justin Bieber to know about, and then help out Ratanak?"

I answered yes, of course.

These numbers are one year old.

Justin Bieber had 14 million Facebook followers, including 2 million likes.

Justin Bieber has had over 2 billion YouTube views.

Justin Bieber was Google’s most popular name search, running a distant second was Jesus.

I thought about the possibilities.  What if Justin Bieber encourages his Facebook followers to look up Ratanak`s website?  What if Justin Bieber gives 10 cents of every ticket sold at his concerts in support of Ratanak`s programs?  What if Justin Bieber gave one dollar of every cd he sells to Ratanak International?  What if Justin Bieber uses his media spotlight to create awareness of the problem of Trafficking of young woman and children for sex?  What if Justin Bieber used one of the meetings he has had with the World`s Leaders in Politics to challenge them to enforce some of the policies in place to protect the world`s most vulnerable people?  Finally, what if Justin Bieber encourages his many fans to talk to the same Politicians about his concerns for the same people?

Last week I ran my longest run so far.  The weather was -21C.  Weather was going to make this a very tough run, but not for the reason of the cold.

Last year I complained about the mild winter and how I did not like the feeling of running in the mud.  Possibly I should have kept quiet.  This winter we have had many periods of heavy snow followed by mild temperatures, followed by very cold temperatures.  I have found my path in the Ravine slushy many times, or even worse covered in black ice.  When the path is slushy, my feet get wet and cold and I cannot run as far due to the extra effort. (I have thought of trying to simulate this motion on a machine and selling it on an late night infomercial as it is a great core workout.)  When the path is full of ice  for safety reasons I have to run through the deep snow beside the path, again not an ideal situation.

One day I noticed the snow beside the path beaten down a bit and I told Gloria "I think someone is pulling a toboggan down the ravine."

On the day of my longest run I saw what I mistakenly thought what was my toboggan, was none other than a young lady running full speed with snowshoes on.

 

 She was running the opposite way that I was and for most of my run I was able to follow where she had been, avoiding the ice by following her tracks.  For me she represents God`s role in my life, in that sometimes I see God has already been where I am being sent.  I may never see Him, but every now and then I get a hint as I did that day with the lady that He has went before me.

This may take the form of people and events that come into my life at just the right time.

Some recent examples of this are; coming home from work dead tired and seeing Gloria had shovelled the freshly fallen snow.

Having a friend from work who is a website designer set up my blog and takes my ramblings and turns them into something beautiful.  Having the two people who after every new writing of mine sending me words of encouragement including sharing a story of how words to a particular song helped one of them through a tough time in her life.  Having my boss (who has no idea) I am training for a marathon give me an easier job on certain days.  Having my children patiently endure an outburst on some trivial manner (due to my lack of sleep.)  Having friends and small Business owners financially support not only my last years marathon, but without any prompting three weeks later supporting my children as well in the Ratanak 5km walkathon.  Sending me Paul, the man who does all the work for the walkathon and gives me all the credit.  Having other volunteers in The Toronto Core Group doing many other of the behind the scenes work for the upcoming walkathon.  Having friends and family accept the fact that a lot of our social activities are going to become all but nonexistent for a few months.  Receiving a 20 percent off coupon for running shoes exactly when I need to purchase new ones.

Having set up my path, and encouraging me perhaps God was going to encourage and lay a path for a young woman helping in the fight against child soldiers, or the person involved with the people in a Homeless shelter, or the Grandma who is involved in the fight against AIDS in Africa, or someone who is helping our First Nation people.

Although seeing the lady in snowshoes was a great encouragement and made my running a little easier on this particular day; it still was by no means an easy run.  Problems as deep rooted as the sexual exploitation of children for profit in Countries such as Cambodia will not be changed overnight by well-wishing and kind thoughts.  Cambodia as a Country has experienced tremendous trauma in the time of the "Killing Fields"; similar to the trauma that these children face.  Much as Cambodia was ignored by the outside world during this time, for too long the world has ignored these children.  This problem will be overcome by hard work over a long period of time and most importantly by God himself.

1 Corinthians 1:27

27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;

God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

If God can make an ordinary person like myself become involved in these children`s lives, surely God could incline Justin Bieber`s heart towards these children.  Because of my short comings any little success in my life I have to give God the credit and ultimately The Glory.  If Justin Bieber became involved quite possibly many of us who are involved would probably not be needed.  My involvement is this cause has been a great gift.  It is an honour to try to change the lives of young children who are currently suffering for the better.

I only have to look in the mirror and see the eyes of the older, plodding Marathon runner to see the hand of God at work.

On the website for the very aptly named Chilly Half Marathon it mentions "setting your p.b. (personal best time on this day.)  Another Race Director with a sense of humour, as p.b.`s are usually set in the Spring with ideal weather conditions, not in the dead of winter.

My training leading up to this race until this week had me thinking of a four letter word that I forbid myself to say out loud within Isabella`s hearing, the word is fast, as in Boston Marathon fast.  My normal routine the week before a race is to slow down and do enough exercise to stay sharp, but to try not to over train, to try and eliminate all stress, and to try and get a little more sleep.

This was a tough week!  I had one Daughter home from School with a nasty cold, two snowstorms to deal with, a hectic week at work, and a whole week of little nuisances that wore me out.  This all came to a head on Thursday, as I had four different issues to deal with before work that if not completed would have a negative financial impact on me.

I was not thinking very positive as I stepped onto the treadmill for a easy 40 minute run.  Within a few minutes it was like a dark cloud had enclosed me as I thought about what I still had to do, how tired I was etc, etc.  I was rapidly approaching self-pity when a saying I came across a few years ago came to mind.

It is an African Proverb:  "A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor."

I know my demanding schedule and the struggle to train for a marathon help me in the many times that I feel like quitting in a marathon.  Sometimes in life it is the day to day battles that you face head on and refuse to give into, are what gives you the experience and confidence to take on and win the War`s that come your way later on in your life.

The next thing that happened to me was a thought that came to me in the form of two questions.  "Why are you running?"

I am running for girls in two different situations.  I run for the awareness I hope to bring for the girls physically held as sexual slaves in Cambodia.  I run for the funding that is necessary to help girls rescued from such a life throw off their emotional chains and to see the day when their scars are dulled and diminished in contrast to the beautiful woman they become.

The second question:  "How does your current life compare to either sets of these girl`s lives?"  I do not know a proper word to explain my feelings at that time, to say the very least self-pity was long gone and the negative thoughts left me alone as I was again grateful for all I have and for all I have not had to experience in my life.

I remember reading a quote from a Christian Professional Athlete "excuses are for losers."  I will try to keep that in mind as I give the results from today’s race.

First a family perspective:

 

 

Katarina told me after the race "everyone else had on such nice outfits, but you looked like a homeless person."  True, but by now everyone knows where my heart and my resources are going to.  Poor Isabella, in the parking lot I noticed the winner of The Mississauga Marathon warming up.  Isabella asked me if he "was going to win?"  This race had prize money so it attracted very fast runners, so I told her no I think he would come in about fifth.  Isabella than asked me "Do you think you will win?"   "No way!"  I answered and marvelled at this young girl’s eternal optimism.

The Cleveland Marathon is 77 days away.  I ran about a one hour and forty minute half marathon, indeed a Boston Marathon qualifying time.

 

 

Larry

Learning to Fly

While looking around the room at the make up of people present at a recent prayer meeting for Cambodia I was again surprised at who was there.  Out of the 15 people present 12 were women and 3 were men.  This started me thinking back to another time when I was at a Conference on dealing with the problems associated with the sexual exploitation of children in the World.  Out of 180 people who attended, 5 were men.  This inspired me and I wrote about how one man can make a difference in the World citing examples of Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot for bad, and Moses, William Wilberforce, and Abraham Lincoln for good.  

 

In my six years of being a volunteer for Ratanak International the numbers have stayed the same.  Approximately 8 out of every ten volunteers I have seen are woman.  This begs the question "If  evil men are responsible for the ruining of young children`s lives through their sexual depravity, how come more good men are not coming forward to help these children put their lives back together?"

 

I am most definitely not a Saint and it is only by the grace of God that I have become involved in restoring these children's lives.  At the same meeting mentioned above a lady was praying for the abusers to stop abusing these children.  As she prayed so beautifully I was thinking of how I would like to stop them- with a baseball bat.

 

This invitation is open to all male or female, I only know of my reasons why I found it hard to become involved.  Quite possibly not Uncle Sam, but a much higher authority may be calling you.

 

 

 

 

This quote is from Lisa Cheong, a woman working for Ratanak International in Cambodia.  These words came about after she confronted a French pedophile who was trying to purchase a young girl for sexual purposes.

 

"together we are called to be modern day Moses who God is sending forth to seek justice on behalf of the oppressed into places like Cambodia, a hot bed for sex tourism and sex trafficking.

 

This battle is not for the faint hearted, it can wear you down, it will disturb your spirit when you hear and read of man`s inhumanity to a child, it will require more than you and I can ever give but none the less, it is worth it- it is a fight for life, it is a fight for dignity, it is a fight for freedom, it is a fight for hope, and it is a fight for love."

 

These words resonate deeply within me.  Lisa uses the example of Moses who the Bible teaches us delivered Israel from slavery out of Egypt.  We remember the ten plagues brought down on Egypt, we remember Moses parting the Red Sea with his staff, we think of Moses and all the great things he did.  Sometimes we overlook Moses`s humble beginning.

God spoke to Moses in the burning bush, telling him that Moses was to deliver Israel, Moses did not exactly start jumping up and down for joy.

 

Exodus 3

 

 11 Moses said "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

Exodus 4
 

10 Moses said "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant, I am slow of speech and tongue."

13  But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to it."

 

The latest numbers I have are that currently 27 million people in the world live in slavery.  Over 2 million are children living in forced prostitution, at least 30 000 of these live in Cambodia.  This is a multi Billion dollar industry.

 

I believe my whole life will pass with these numbers virtually unchanged, or even getting worse.  For some that may seem overwhelming; that is giving a large number of years to a cause that may never change.  Many people I know are so stressed about time constraints it is hard for them to commit to anything.

 

For those who are new to this blog I run one full Marathon every Spring for the exploited children in Cambodia.  I came across this fact recently, only 0.5 percent of the population will ever run one full Marathon.

For some, thinking of a lifetime involvement for exploited children may seem like running a marathon.  I thought back to some people who have come and gone in the Toronto Core Group for Ratanak International.  Early on I remember a person who was such an important part of the group moving on to another calling.  I was really concerned as this woman was such a big part of the group that I thought it would be impossible to replace her.  The amazing thing is that when someone leaves someone else joins.  God has always provided the right people at the right time.

 

Not everyone will be able to commit to a lifetime of volunteering, as many cannot run a full Marathon.

 

The Mississauga marathon has an interesting feature which my wife Gloria thought of our family doing one day in the future.  It is a relay for people to run a full marathon.  3 people run 10km and the last person runs 12km.  Individually these people may not be able to run a marathon, but collectively they can.  My experience has been that these people are the most supportive, when you run past them their cheers are the loudest.

 

I thought of the many people who have crossed paths with me in my work for Ratanak International.

Some are on the life long path, while others carry the baton for a while and than pass it off to someone else who takes over for them.  Both types of people are needed.

 

Fear may also be a factor.  Billion dollar illegal activities are controlled by very powerful, very ruthless men.  The selling of young children for sexual exploitation shows the lack of moral decency these men have.  Factor in a large number of consumers who obviously have no ethics of their own.  Last but not least if you believe in good and evil, Heaven and Hell, Angels and Demons, God and Satan it is quite obvious which forces are behind each side in this battle.

 

I would like to share an example from my recent family vacation about fear and what it may cost you.

 

While trying to figure out which extra activities our family would try out in Punta Cana we settled on para sailing.  We balanced the cost, and the uniqueness of this activity.  We figured that we could see Dolphins, water ski, or go on a party boat in Canada but as far we knew we could not para sail.

 

I made a deal with a salesman for a company that I felt was fair and waited for the perfect day to try this out.  I was to take the pictures as para sailing was expensive, and we thought it would be nice for the girls to be together for this.

 

Gloria was all for it, calm, cool Katarina was ready and Isabella my youngest daughter who usually is full of bravado started out all in favour of it, than started showing signs of fear.

 

This is extremely out of character, as usually we have to try and rein in Isabella as she usually has no fear.  As the day approached Isabella told us "she had changed her mind, and she did not want to go."

 

Sensing if I did not hurry this issue was going to become bigger.  I found the salesman and completed our deal.

 

On the beach Isabella told us again "she did not want to go."  Gloria and I told her "to trust us, we will not let you get hurt."

 

My family was taken to a boat that was to take us out the deeper waters of the Ocean where the para sail boat waited for us.

 

The water was very rough, and we had trouble getting on our life jackets.  To really frighten Isabella our boat driver smashed into the para sail boat almost having me drop our camera into the Ocean.

 

I looked at my family as they were being hooked up to the parachute harness.  Isabella had a look of abject terror, and was shivering I mouthed the words again to her "trust me."

 

They took off and a miraculous event happened, Isabella instantly loved the feeling of flying, forgot all of her fears and yelled out something along the lines of "now I am all grown up."

 

 

 

 

 

These are some of the words from a Tom Petty song called Learning to Fly

Learning to Fly

 

  I`m learning to fly, but I ain`t got wings

  Coming down is the hardest thing

   Well some say life will beat you down

  Break your heart, steal your crown

  So I`ve started out, for God knows where

  I guess I`ll know when I get there

   I`m learning to fly, but I ain`t got wings

  Coming down is the hardest thing

 

These words sum up my involvement so far as a volunteer for Ratanak International.  I am learning to fly but I don`t have wings.  God only knows where I am to go, and the biggest truth is that coming down is the hardest thing.

 

My biggest high in life is when my foot crosses the finishing line of whichever marathon I have chosen.  Most times I do not know if I am going to be able to finish the race right until this moment.  Every other distraction in my life goes away and at this moment I believe I am taken to a view that is out of this World.  These feeling do not last and I must come down, yet I  hunger and thirst for more.

 

Possibly some of you, my readers, are like Isabella was at the beginning of the para sail Adventure.

 

At one time you may have thought about becoming involved but now fear, and doubts have set in, leaving you paralysed.  As I look back on my Families example I see an important similarity to my involvement in the lives of these children.

 

We did not send Isabella on the para sail by herself.  We did say trust us, BUT Gloria her Mother went with her.  If you have been called to this ministry Jesus will be with you every step of the way, the same as Gloria was with Isabella, the same as God was with Moses.

 

Larry 

I walk soft

Writing is a funny thing. I boarded a plane at Toronto Pearson Airport on January 14 with no ideas and no plans of writing anything and returned home on January 21 with a head full of ideas, hardly being able to contain my excitement waiting to write this out.

I left for this trip tense, coming off a two week flu, very concerned about how my preparation for the Cleveland Marathon was going. I arrived home relaxed, refreshed, almost Healthy, and remembered if indeed I am called to run for the victims of sexual slavery in Cambodia God will find a way for me. I left the beaches of Punta Cana Dominican Republic with daily temperatures of 31C to Toronto`s weather of -28C.

 

I arrived home to 44 emails and 24 phone calls. I cannot write on demand, when asked to I really struggle for the right words. This writing came naturally, very easily. I have been told by a few people my writings are too long, sorry but I must go with the flow.

 

This was my first trip to a Tropical resort in four years and I was a little apprehensive of how I would enjoy this trip. As I get older I find my eyes being opened more and more. Things I would not have noticed when younger I see clearly now. Going to a resort in a less developed Country was going to be a challenge.

 

Besides the obvious prayers of protection for my Family I asked God to open our eyes to see what He wanted us to see, I also asked if there was to be an opportunity for me to explain about Ratanak`s work in Cambodia to not let me miss it.

 

I remember a story I read in a book from Mark Buchanan. The story went something like this; a Banquet was held in a Church. There was one table set up in the middle where the people were fed every kind of food imaginable with waiters coming around often to pamper the people of this table. The other tables had dirty water to drink placed in a pitcher in the middle of the table, very sporadically a waiter would come around and throw some old food on the table. After a while the waiter stopped coming around. The people at the table in the middle were having a great time and did not notice the people at the other tables. The people at the other tables were upset at their lack of service, and were envious of the people from the middle table. I do not remember the exact name of the theme, but it was a way for the host of this party to show the people who attended an accurate picture of the world we live in.

 

I live a life that puts me in the middle table as I suspect most of you, my readers do as well.

I read a book once where the author stated the saddest verse in the Bible is the one where Jesus tells Judas "the poor you will always have with you." I have no answers just observations from my trip and a certainty that I should be doing more than I currently am to help the people of this World who need it most.

 

The rest of this writing is about what I saw when I was away.

I can take a Vacation from most things but sexual exploitation seems to follow me I guess.

One day while running on the Beach a 40 something year old lady who was not very attractive was gesturing at me with her hands and yelling a price at me. I thought she wanted to rent me some water sports equipment and declined. The next day I ran past her again and realized she was saying "$20 for a massage" I again declined but thought to myself I wonder if her massage includes a sexual service I have heard about in the illegal Massage parlours in Toronto. A little ways up the Beach my question I believe was answered as a young, attractive girl who looked about 16 was wearing a very low halter top, and very high cut off shorts. Her asking price for a "massage" was $30.

 

In the little pamphlet I was given by a tour guide from my travel company I found these words

"We work jointly with humanitarian and environmental organizations, particularly in the protection of children`s rights and the fight against sexual tourism involving minors, to ensure tourism benefits all and protects precious resources."

 

One day while swimming in the Ocean with my Daughter Isabella she discovered a fun way of playing with the waves. She would sit on her back in shallow water and allow the waves and the strong undertow to move her rapidly through the water. Seeing how much fun she was having I soon joined her. An interesting thing happened to me that did not happen to Isabella; later on we figured out my longer legs allowed the waves more access to me and moved me around more than Isabella.

I would start with my back to the waves, as the undertow went out it would turn my legs in a counter clock wise position until I was facing the waves. Next I would be knocked flat on my back until I was lying down all the while being slowly dragged out into the Ocean. I was helpless to do anything as the strength of the undertow held my arms by my side. I could see the big waves coming rapidly towards me. One, two, three, each wave bigger than the previous would wash over me and left me a mess of salt water and sand. Isabella could not stop laughing at the sight of this happening to her Father. For me it was humbling as I realized how inconsequential my strength was compared to this force of nature, let alone the One who created this nature.

 

Later on a very sobering truth hit me. I realized when laying flat on my back in the water I was in the same position as the young girls in Cambodia are being forced into when they are raped. As much as I was powerless to break free from these waves these girls are powerless against the abusers as they enter into their rooms. As with me they will be held down and forced to do things against their will. As I was able to see the waves bearing down on me these girls will hear the footsteps coming down the hallway, they will see the doorknob turning and know that they are in for a terrible time. Unlike me who endured three waves for about fives seconds these girls will endure hours upon hours, month upon months, years upon years of repeated abuse. Many times I prayed the words quietly to myself "Thank you Lord" as I enjoyed my Vacation. That day I said my most meaningful "Thank you Lord" of the week as I realized the fire that has been put in me for the victims of sexual abuse in Cambodia cannot be extinguished even as I lived like a Prince in the lap of luxury.

 

Proverbs 23

 

1 When you sit to dine with a ruler,

note well what is before you

2 and put a knife to your throat

if you are given to gluttony,

3 Do not crave his delicacies,

for that food is deceptive.

 

I always looked at these verses as a warning for me when looking at the really wealthy people of this World against desiring what they have. After my week away I see where these verses can apply to the people of a poorer Country such as the people I met in Punta Cana as they look at the lives we live.

The next few paragraphs are about four people I met while away and one I observed.

 

"Cheappy Willy" was a guy who Gloria met when she was taking Isabella to get beads put into her hair. He was a middle man who sold goods for a store owner. We found his prices cheaper than our Hotels gift shop. The thing that stuck out to me was in spite of his tough life was his sense of humour. We told him about seeing a stray dog at the beach and he went on to say "Dominicans do not eat Dogs." With his booming laugh he had Gloria in stitches as he went onto tell us of the various Countries around the World who do eat dog meat. To me I thought of how well this man`s skills were and how he could benefit with one of those (KIVA) no interest loans given to people. Willy would be able to purchase his own store. In Canada he would be a top salesman for a Company.

 

"Mahony Baloney" the saddest story of the week. He was Cheappy Willys sidekick and I believe the muscle of the two. When he found out we lived near Toronto he lit up as he was a huge Baseball fan and the Blue Jays now have six Dominican players on the team.

 

Later on we found out he was a minor league Baseball player with the Pittsburgh Pirates only to have his chance at the major leagues end because of an injury. He showed me a long scar where his Achilles tendon was. I thought to myself how close, yet how far. One year in Baseball could provide enough for this man to live for the rest of his life, and now he had to scratch out a living selling goods to Tourists like ourselves. One thing this man still had was his pride and his integrity. As soon as he found out we wanted Cheappy Willy he went to get him, instead of trying to undercut him, also later on he chased away other people who wanted to bother us for deals as we were with his friend.

While talking Mahony was angry only at the Dominican Baseball players who made huge sums of money only to ignore the poor back home, he spoke very highly of the ones who did come back to help out their fellow Country men. I marvelled at his lack of bitterness, as playing Baseball at a professional level in the Dominican is the equivalent of a North American person winning the lottery. This man had came so close yet had no regrets or feelings of empathy, he went on scratching out a living as best as he could.

 

Eddy Murphy an entertainer at our Hotel. Eddy works 11 straight 15 hour days than gets three days off to spend with his family. My family felt a bond with him. Isssabella was how he pronounced Isabella's name. Eddy took an interest in Katarinas Kobo, a machine which allows you to read books through a monitor. Eddy started off asking us questions about our lives, but I think what impressed him most was we took an interest in his family. Eddy has a five year old daughter, and a son on the way. Eddy told us in the Dominican a Father gives his son a bat, a ball, and a glove for his first birthday.

 

Eddy told me he had a tough start to his life and wanted to give his family chances he never had to succeed. Eddy somehow had learned to speak English, and French to go along with his native Spanish. Eddy also taught Dance lessons and asked me if I wanted to learn. In a lighter moment I told him "there was not enough vacation time in either of our lives to achieve this." Eddy never complained although sometimes at night I saw him yawning from his long day. One day when talking about the rain Eddy said "I can do nothing about the Big Man in the sky." If Eddy was born in Canada with the opportunities we have I am sure he would be a CEO of a major corporation. My highlight of Eddy was one night when no one wanted to learn to dance Eddy just danced by himself to the words of I`m yours by Jason Mraz. The look of utter peace and contentment on this young man`s face had me envious. The last day we discreetly presented Eddy with a gift of money that we hoped would help him with the purchase of his sons gift. I prayed in the Hotel room that Eddy`s son would grow up to be tall and strong and indeed become a Major league Baseball player and give Eddy and his family a break from their very tough life.

 

I do not know the next man`s name. The last day I went to the shopping mall to say goodbye to Willy and Mahony. A man saw me looking around and asked what I wanted. I told him who I was looking for, he said "they are inside with Customers, perhaps I can help you?" I declined his offer and started walking away, only to have him walk beside me. Not wanting to create any false hope I told him I was going home today and had shopped yesterday. The man said "it was okay he just wanted to walk."

 

I asked him if he played Baseball? He told me "no I am not from this Country." He went on to tell me had come to Punta Cana from Haiti 10 years ago to make a better life for himself. We talked about the Earthquake and how this man may have died if he had stayed in Haiti. As we arrived at my Hotel I told him goodbye, how much I admired the resiliency of the people I had met, and how if given opportunities that I had I am sure they would more than succeed, I wished him well in the upcoming year. To me, he took my hand, looked me in the eye and said "May God keep and protect you and your family." Shocked, and humbled still, I look forward to seeing this man again, only it will be in Heaven with him given the highest honours.

 

I wish I could stop writing now but I can`t. I could write a novel about how many acts of arrogance, and ignorance I saw my fellow Tourists committing. One stands out for all the wrong reasons. While waiting for my family at the pool one day I watched an encounter of two people. A young man waved over a salesman who sold outings to various destinations. The young man enquired about the prices. The salesman told him the price. Angrily the young man countered with an insulting price, the salesman told him this was too low and he would not only not receive any commission he would actually lose money if he accepted this offer. Arrogantly the young man held up his Bubba Keg filled with alcohol and said "take your commission from my drink" With a pleading look the salesman again tried to bargain, with a look of arrogance, and disgust the young man shooed away the salesman as one would a fly.

 

The most disturbing thing about this incident was what I had noticed earlier in the day and was looking at right now.

 

In the shape of a cross the words from Matthew 16 vs 26 were tattooed on the young mans back.

26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?

Thinking back on this encounter I cannot help but think of the day when the exact words that are on this man`s body may be used against him. For the same God who created the young man, also created the salesman. And if I saw your actions and was shocked and repulsed by how you treated this man. How many other times in your life have you acted in such a way only to be seen by your Creator?

Family without putting any effort into it I noticed your actions of the week.

 

Katarina

 

You read three books after getting a sunburn the first day, you are deep like me and have the gift of writing, you also drew an amazing picture of Gloria on the plane ride back to Toronto, a talent I can take no credit for. I remember how calm, and cool you were under pressure while the rest of us were getting excited about every little detail. You could be a surgeon when you grow up. You remarked to Gloria "I feel like a princess at how people are treating me." May you always be treated with the Dignity and respect you deserve.

As you would float in the Ocean I saw such a look of peace and contentment on your face. May God Bless you with this same feeling as you find your calling in life.

Isabella

 

How you challenge me! Without even being aware that you are doing this. You made me realize I still have a long way to go. Towards the end of week I had this whole writing in my head and thought I had things figured out. A salesman around our hotel looked a lot like Uganda`s former Dictator Idi Amin, he had to wear a yellow shirt and long khaki pants as part of his uniform. He was not a good salesman as he was pushy to the point of being obnoxious and he was also greedy as he would ask for far too much money.

On the hottest day of our week Isabella asked me "why did this man not stop for a break to rest and to drink some water?" I told her because he may be afraid that when he stops he may lose a potential sale. Isabella told me "this is not fair I would stop for a drink." Conviction flooded over me as I realized my dislike of this man had me overlook the simple fact that he was a Human being and he was entitled to basic needs like drinking water on a hot day, also I had never thought to offer him one of our endless supply of bottled waters.

Isabella later on also pointed out the fact that she did not like that Gloria and I had bargained a little bit with Cheappy Willy on three items for a total savings of 6 dollars. Isabella pointed out that he needed this money more than us. I realized she was right. If I was to take the 6 dollars and give it to a reputable Charity than my conscience is clear, but I am sure I will waste this money on something frivolous.

 

Gloria

 

One day when talking to Eddy Murphy you asked him his name, something I am sure that does not happen very often. Yes Eddy has a name and it is not the name the Hotel gave him because his name was to hard to pronounce. I forgot his name, Juan (something), but I know you remember.

Our poor maid! For some reason this poor lady would keeping coming up to us and asking if the room was okay. One day she gave the throat slashing symbol and said if people complain this would happen to her. Another day she brought her Manager over to us to again have us tell that her cleaning was up to par. Gloria reached out and embraced with a very nice hug this poor uptight lady. Later on I thought to myself I am sure that this was the first time a tourist had ever done such a thing. It reminded me of Jesus not just healing but reaching out and touching people physically as well.

To close this is a picture of my family minus Gloria walking on the beach one evening, our footprints are noticeable.
 

 

This sums up to me our trip to Punta Cana but also our lives as well. How are we going to walk over this Earth? Are we going to trample down people and things in pursuit of the World`s happiness? I hope not, I pray not.

Mumford and Sons has a song called Lover`s eyes. As I think about my time on Earth I hope I live my life like the Chorus.

The words are I walk slow (which I changed to soft) I believe God is offering His hand to show us how we should live if only we are willing to take it.

The first verse no background music just the lead singers voice singing very softly

 

I walk soft

I walk soft

Take my hand help me on my way
 

The next verse his voice is louder and a Guitar joins in

I walk soft

I walk soft

Take my hand help me on my way
 

The next verse his voice is louder and a Piano joins the Guitar

I walk soft

I walk soft

Take my hand help me on my way
 

The last verse the singers voice is his loudest a Drum joins the Piano and the Guitar the words are now more than a statement they are a proclamation

I walk soft!

I walk soft!

Take my hand help me on my way
 

Larry