Four short stories from a long winter

 In the book of Ecclesiastes Solomon says

 "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, there is nothing new under the sun."

 Not to disagree with Solomon as everything in life probably does have a cycle but in my six years of running outside during the winter, this winter I have experienced three new things, and hopefully this cycle of weather does not return again for a long time.

 

 

 One morning a warm front came in on the heels of a very cold front. A heavy fog was the result.

 

 This was a day set aside for my long run so it was interesting to not be able to see more than ten feet in front or behind me, and yet I was able to run my planned route as the fog would clear just enough as I ran.

 I thought of the fog in terms of earlier in my life. I had goals, ambitions, and dreams for myself and my family. All worthwhile pursuits, but I was lacking something very meaningful.

  Michelle Lorimar used to be a worship leader at my former Church. These are her words from a song she wrote about getting to Jesus`s heart or in my opinion the moment the fog lifts.

 

 To those who seek your face

 You show your splendour

 You draw us near until we stand in wonder

 And as we gaze your beauty overflows

 

 To those who seek your hand

 You pour out blessing

 You break the bread and pour the sweetest wine

 You take the cup of sorrow and refill it with living water from the throne of God

 

 To those who seek your heart

 You share your sorrow

 You share your pain, your suffering and shame

 You seek the lost, the wounded and the weary

 You give us love to turn to them again

 

 O let me be consumed by love that suffers

 And send me out to minister your grace

 

 Finding Jesus`s heart for me came the day that I learned of the children who suffer in Cambodia and decided to act on this knowledge.

 The words from this song came back to me at a good time. I am ramping up my training. I am starting to feel "tired of being tired", and this will only increase as I get ready for my spring marathon. I have to plan each week in advance and hope the weather cooperates. Those closest to me will notice I am starting to have a little less patience than normal.

Yet while getting closer to the heart of Jesus does hold pain it also is the place of beauty and I have never regretted anything I have done while trying to accomplish His work. 

 

A fog also protects me now. Do I want to know my future? I don`t. Do I want to see negative experiences, events, forces and people waiting to harm me or my family? Again I don`t. What I have is a clear destination of travel that is revealed a little bit at a time not too much at once, same as my running in the fog.

 

 What did the Coyote say?

 

 This is a play on words as there was a very popular song titled What does the fox say?
 

 

 This is one of three signs on my path in the ravine. I had not paid much attention to it, although I know that coyotes frequent this ravine as I have read of coyotes attacking small dogs in Mississauga.

 One day I came across this in my ravine

 

 

 Fortunately for me middle aged runners were not on her menu this morning and the coyote ran off into the bush.

 I thought of the coyote as an enemy to the deer, rabbits, mice, beaver, squirrels, and birds I see during my runs.

 I thought of our reactions to people we view as enemies. If a traumatic event is involved fear may be present. Many times we are angry and bitter many years after an event. Sometimes we hate and despise whole races of people for events that have taken place in history.

 I thought of Jesus`s charge to us about our enemies.

 Matthew 5 vs 44

 "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

 Jesus lived up to this, as an example He prayed for God to forgive those who put him on the cross.

 I fall short of praying for my friends and family so please don`t ask me how often I pray for the people I consider my enemies.

 

 I than wondered what brought the coyote out on such a cold day? Probably the coyote was hungry? Possibly this was a female coyote who was pregnant.

 I felt sympathy for the coyote and prayed it would find a meal (although I asked for something that it would find that had just died of natural causes.) I realize my hypocrisy as I eat meat I have trouble when thinking of it being killed.

 What did the coyote say? Life is too short to hate and to carry grudges. If someone wrongs me or someone I love I believe God will have the final say, also I have to remember to respect and to love others at all times for every being is created in God`s image. Sin is sin, and sin that hurts others should not be tolerated but I have to be careful to not let what I believe is righteous anger turn to bitterness or hatred.

 

 The icebergs are back (very early)

 

 Icebergs are what I usually call the ice that breaks free from the river and is pushed onto the shore. This usually happens in about April. This year it happened in January.

 

 

 Seeing the icebergs usually encourage me as the winter is usually over, spring is here and I am usually very close to starting and than hopefully finishing a marathon.

 

Spiritually the icebergs represent something else. One year a wise lady related to me how each person involved in such a huge task as trying to stop the giant known as sexual child exploitation has a unique role. She likened it to chipping at a giant iceberg, and ended our correspondence with the words "keep chipping Larry."

 What is ironic is that she was trying to cheer me up as she had asked me about contacting Canadian politicians in regards to child exploitation. I told her of my (one) correspondence with a Canadian politician who asked me to contact her after the election, she never responded to me.  What is ironic is that two weeks ago I sent out emails to three different Mississauga Members of Parliament inviting them to participate in the upcoming walkathon. (I thought what do I have to lose?)  Within hours I received two positive responses, possibly this area of chipping at the iceberg is ready now but was not ready five years ago.

  

Each year I see this ice it reminds me of the wise lady`s words and my role. I think some days I am allowed to chip with my feeble arms, other days after a marathon possibly an Angel does the chipping.

 What I have now besides a very challenging start to my training runs in my ravine as I now have to run over this ice in three separate locations, is a constant reminder of why I am running and the hope and belief that although the ice now looks huge and unbreakable, by the time May is here this ice as I hope for child exploitation one day, will no longer be around.

 

 My toughest run ever

 

 During my longest run of this year I remembered a day six years ago. I was training for my first marathon and one day while running I felt a sharp pain in my right calf and had to stop running and walk home. I know the difference between soreness and an injury and this was an injury.

 An ultrasound revealed nothing. I had the elders of my Church pray for me, and yet this pain persisted. I took two weeks off running and tried again. On this day I felt the sharp pain (like a knife in my calf) coming on and I had to stop running again. As I started my slow walk home a lot of negative emotions were overwhelming me. I was upset, afraid, discouraged, disheartened, but the strongest emotion I felt was anger.

 I thought of a horrific story I had heard from a man who is a caregiver for abused girls in Cambodia. He told the story of an eight year old girl who was sold to a pedophile who would make her dance naked on a pool table in order to sell her for a night to the highest bidder.

This story hit me extremely hard as my daughters were eight and six years old at the time.

I started running very slow, every step causing pain, and thought of not only this girl but any other girl caught up in the world of sexual exploitation. I started saying. 

 

I am not doing this for myself

I am doing this so that young girls do not have to dance naked on pool tables!

 

 The pain never relented during this run and I repeated this saying over and over again, sometimes shouting sometimes whispering, sometimes through tears. I had to stop running more than once.

 I ended up having to take two months off of running (not the best way to train for your first marathon.)  A lot of prayer helped me through this time and somehow I was able to finish my first marathon, without this my running career would have been over and some of the positive results including The Ratanak 5km Walkathon would not have been part of my life.

 Many people encourage me, many people are supporting me, many people are helping me, many people love me, many people are donating money, many people are volunteering. Every person I know that is doing this work are very selfless individuals, you expect and receive very little in the way of recognition and yet I know that 

 

We are not doing this for ourselves

 

WE ARE DOING THIS SO THAT YOUNG GIRLS DO NOT EVER, EVER AGAIN HAVE TO DANCE NAKED ON POOL TABLES!

Amen 

 

 Larry 

 

Winter writing

While breaking the ice up on my property after the recent ice storm I realized I would have to come up with a plan due to the enormity of the job. Making matters a bit more difficult I only had one bag of salt and the stores had sold out of salt. I looked for places where the ice was not as thick and broke these areas up first. Later on I would go to the areas beside the freshly broken ice and break more ice. Some areas were so thick they required salt. I found by constantly moving around and breaking up the weakest ice after seven and a half hours I eventually was able to clear all the ice off my driveway and sidewalk.

 

 Sometimes in life it seems as if we are the ice and life is taking it`s best shots at areas of vulnerability in our lives leaving us with a heaviness in our spirit. This day I saw the empire that holds the children hostage in various Countries as sexual commodities as the ice. I believe God is in the process of constantly moving around and striking areas of weakness until the day this empire built on evil is dismantled.

 

 On the path I run in the winter is a sign warning the users that "The City of Mississauga does not clear the path, and people must use at their own risk."

 

 I have found the only people who understand how a person can run outside in the winter, are people who run outsides themselves.

 I am trying to patiently endure the quizzical looks and rhetorical questions such as: "Your not running tomorrow because of snow, freezing rain, slush, extreme cold etc." The best comment came last year from a friend at work when he remarked to me in April "You must be happy now you can start running outside again." Instead of an answer I smiled at the thought of preparing for a marathon in May by doing all of my winter running on a treadmill, this would be impossible at least for me.

 

 One day I passed a lady who was struggling with her footing, and she remarked to me "how can you do this?" I responded "it is easy" as earlier I had thoughts of my upcoming spring marathon and the purpose for it and it was indeed easy to run in trying weather conditions while looking ahead to a noble cause.

 What I did not know was that this was waiting a short distance up ahead

 

 

 I saw six deer on this day. There is about fifteen or so who live in the forest around Pearson airport seeing them is the closest I have ever came to animals in the wild. Last year I only saw them three times so each time I see them is a blessing.

 They are so beautiful that each time I see them I stop running and just look at them.

 Some of the older deer are afraid of me and run away as soon as they see me. The younger ones have not learned to fear men yet and allow me fairly close. Gazing into their big brown eyes I cannot help but think of the girls in Cambodia. I think the older deer who run away are like the girls who have experienced men`s cruelty and know to fear me. The younger deer represent the girls who have not faced abuse and give me hope. For I do know that if somehow Governments around the world join together and protect young children from abuse, there would be more children like the young deer living life as it was intended. If this was to happen eventually there would be no need of aftercare facilities for abused children. 

 

A snow storm on a Saturday in December produced more than 20 cm of snow. I started a long run in my ravine just as the storm started. Part way through my run I passed a man walking his dog who was  looking very miserable. He sarcastically told me "nice day for a run."

 What he did not know is that for me it was a great day for a run. Freshly fallen snow is a beautiful sight. The ground, trees, river etc. covered with this snow is very breathtaking.

 

 

 The day after a snowstorm I find that the same snow that was so beautiful the day before when covered with road salt becomes ugly. It has a different colour, white has become black.

 It has a different feel, soft has become hard.

 

 

 This day I thought of a child born into this world as the fresh snow, beautiful, innocent, and pure.

 My thoughts drifted to the exploited children in Cambodia. I thought of the road salt mixed with the snow as the taking of something pure and heaping sin, depravation, and guilt upon it. The result being the total look and intention of something being altered.

 I then thought it would be impossible for me to remove the salt from the snow and restore the snow to its original state. 

 Men are very limited, with God all things are possible.

 I have seen pictures of girls in Cambodia at graduation ceremonies looking more beautiful, radiant, and alive then any princess I have ever seen. Yet a few short years before these very girls were being sexually abused many times each day.

 Five young women in a Ratanak International program are well on their way to completing their first year of University, again girls who have life stories that bring tears to the hardest people.

 I wish the problem of children being sold into sexual slavery for profit did not exist in the world. I wish people did not think their entitlement in life allows them to use and abuse others for their enjoyment.

 I wish that one day that all people regardless of age, religion, sex, social standing were all truly equal.

 Until this happens I will continue to raise funding and awareness for Ratanak International as it continues to minister to the needs of exploited children in Cambodia.

 

June 7 2014 is the date of the third 5km walkathon in Mississauga at Erindale park. 

In the book "Dream Giver" by Bruce Wilkinson he says something like "God is looking for the dreamers of today to dream big, impossible dreams, and allow for God to make them come true."

 Brian McConaghy director of Ratanak once said he felt "seeing dust on the horizon was God showing Brian that God was already at work, and was calling Brian to follow Him."

 By nature I am very conservative. Every race I run I usually tell my family a time a few minutes slower then what I feel I will finish. This is called "setting the bar low."

 The first walkathon a goal of $5 000 was set over $7 800 was raised.

 The second walkathon a goal of $10 000 was set  $15 406 was raised.

 My original thought was to keep the number low as last year we had a lot of very unexpected positive donations that I felt may not happen again.

As I wrestled with a number I thought of Brian`s comments and thought God is not standing still or retreating. He is moving forward or advancing.

 I then thought of Bruce Wilkinson comments and thought pick a number well out of my comfort level and give God the credit when this goal is reached.

The number I came up with was $20 052. The $20 000 represents about a 30% increase from our donations last year.

 The number 52 came to me as I ran on the day of the snowstorm.

 

I am training for a spring marathon in which I will run 42kms. Neil Boron host of lifeline a radio show on WDCX 99.5 F.M. is going to take part in this year`s walkathon. This is great news as selfishly I thought of his help in promoting Ratanak events in the past and thought the publicity he can generate can only help. Selflessly I enjoy Neil`s company especially his sense of humour and look forward to spending a June morning with him. 

 Not everyone in my family was as excited about this news as me. For those of you who have read my blog know that most of the laughs all at my expense have came from comments my competitive 11 year old daughter has made about my running results.

 She asked me "Do you think because he is famous people will let Neil win?" I asked her "are you going to let him win?" A look of determination crossed her face and she shook her head no!

 52 represents my 42km Neil`s 5km and Isabella`s 5km.

 The numbers 5 and 2 are significant numbers from the Bible in a particular story.

 Luke 6 vs 8-12 tells the story of a young boy who gave his 5 loaves and 2 fish to Jesus, and Jesus was able to feed 5 000 men with this with some food left over. And while most people do not ever give everything as the young boy did. It is my hope and belief that God can and will take a very determined, united, and somewhat overmatched skill sets of the volunteers from the Toronto core group and reward us with an even greater number then we can even imagine or predict.

 

Larry   

 

The Place

I just finished my latest running race a 10 km event through the Beach area of Toronto that benefitted an outreach program for families who are having difficulties making ends meet at Christmas time.

 I experienced a new challenge during this race: black ice. Over 700 runners were crammed like sardines so this danger was extremely challenging at the beginning of the race when you could not see it until you were right on top it. Thankfully I survived unlike one unfortunate lady who had to walk back injured to the starting and meet her disappointed family.  I do not think June has ever had snow in Mississauga so I can cross this worry off my list for next year`s Ratanak International walkathon.

 

 A friend asked me "for a 10 km do you just get out of bed and show up?" I guess he was referring to the fact I have ran 42.2 km races in the past.

 Each race no matter the distance poses challenges unique to the event.  Physically I feel I may be coming down with something and sweating as I ran through a steady drizzle with my lungs burning made for a tougher morning than I or my friend could have predicted.

 This came to a head at the 7km mark.  Thanksgiving was celebrated last Thursday in the United States. In three weeks both Canada and the U.S. will celebrate Christmas.  As I was not having an enjoyable run I thought of the act of running a race. I thought of how many people I know who are suffering physically and how the pain they suffer from affects every area of their lives, and they could only dream of being able to run. I then thought of people in other Countries who maybe able to run physically, but social problems such as war, poverty, and exploitation would not allow them to set aside a Sunday morning for a race. 

 Thinking of others far less fortunate made me grateful for the physical and economic blessings I have experienced in my life.  The last 3 km`s became bearable, and low and behold (for the few friends who always ask) I finished in a very surprising time of 43 minutes. 

 

 Lately I have  heard a song that is played much around Christmas.

 Do they know it`s Christmas? Some of the lyrics really  struck me.

 "Do they know it`s Christmas time at all?"  I thought about the ones who rarely leave my thoughts: the exploited children in Cambodia. Sadly they probably do know when Christmas is approaching as they are probably seeing more customers from the affluent part of the world taking advantage of their Christmas Holidays to go overseas and consuming their Countries  product (children.)

 "The greatest gift you`ll give this year is life."  These words are so true for this year or for any year.  What is a richer gift to give someone than the chance for life?

"And the Christmas bells that ring

  Are the clanging chimes of doom

  Well tonight, thank God, its them instead of you."

 If I am honest I see the truth in these lyrics as well.  I have heard Brian McConaghy explain the number of times these girls are abused in a night multiplied over a year.  Yes I do thank God that I have never faced such a life, and I am grateful for a chance to help some leave this life.

 This latest writing is from some of my thoughts I wrote down on a Sunday morning in April 2012.

 I started putting it on my computer November 20 which my calendar tells me is Universal Children`s day according to the U.N. Again I ask myself a rhetorical question. Do the children being exploited realize there is a day set aside for them? 

 

 At the time of the later writing I was training for the 2012 Toronto Marathon. I ended up running 28 miles in distance in a time of 3 hours 48 minutes for this particular training run.  It was pouring rain on this day, my Daughter Isabella thought I was crazy, and when I ran by a deserted golf course I wondered about this myself.

 Sometimes things are coming our way when we least expect it.  I wonder, if I did not run this day would these words have came to me?  Possibly at a later date, or was this a test of faith with a reward waiting that I could not possibly for see?  One way or another I will never know.

 The ravine I run in has four signs that warn me to never leave the trail.  In the six years of training for marathons my feet have never once left this trail.  Yet many times my mind and thoughts are far from this trail.

I shared these words with a group of friends who liked them so now I will share them with you, with some examples of how true, how profound they were that day.  And how I see these words ringing true to me now and I believe for the future.

 

 The Place

 

 There is a place that I know

 That mortal men should fear to go

 It is a place of depravity and shame

 A place whose leader first enticed Cain

 The children who are kept in this place

 Suffer much disgrace

 They are held against their will

 And beaten and made to lie still

 

 This is a place that should be dark

 Yet I see a tiny spark

 A ray of hope in this domain

 One day the light will surely reign

 

 I am called to run this race

 And this is where I see God`s face

 I stumble often He picks me up

 I know this place it is my cup

 

 The giant`s voice tells me I am weak and small

 One day I believe this giant will fall

 This giant feeds on fear and wrath

 One day this giant will be snapped in half

 

 The giant is an awesome beast

 The children are its favourite feast

 The place I see I hate to go

 Yet something draws me this I know

 

 Cain was the first murderer.  He is the first in a long seemingly never ending list of men who listen to the voice they should ignore.  Cain murdered his brother.  Many men now a days are trying to destroy the spirits of little children as they selfishly take away their innocence, what they do not realize is that in the process they are destroying themselves.

 Are there darker places on Earth than the mind of the person who abuses children?  Is there a darker place then the lives of these very children?  In my very privileged and sheltered life I

have not encountered any.

 St Francis of Assisi "All the darkness of the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle."

 Two documentaries I have watched on young girls forced to work as prostitutes had a theme that really took me by surprise.  HOPE was this theme.  I was amazed as in both documentaries the girls were talking of future dreams.  They had hopes for meeting young men who would accept them as they were.  Young men who would overlook their past and young men who would marry them, love them, accept them, and become the Fathers of their children.

 Hope can indeed exist in the darkest places on this earth, and it is up to us to make sure these girls have a chance at the future that they are dreaming of.  The thought and dreams which probably sustain and encourage them to keep going in spite of their present circumstances.

 

 I love running in my ravine.  I really dislike running a race, especially a marathon.  I have had some very tough races dealing with every type of weather element you can imagine, as well as other factors well out of my control.  i.e. Major marathons running out of cups for water at the 30 km mark, winds of 50km/hr, race day temperatures of 31C/91F. 

 Yet this is a time where I am desperate and more than once I have prayed asking God for help as I felt I could not go one more step.  As an answer one marathon I saw a face of a young girl who has faced years of trauma and I felt I had to finish if just for her, another time the earlier writing came to mind and I felt I had to finish this race.

 In running I have not stumbled often.  In my life I stumble every day and am humbled that I am allowed to try to help these children.  I was and still am a very unlikely crusader for these children.

 The cup is a religious symbol I like.  The night before being put on the cross Jesus prayed "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."

 James and John`s Mother asked Jesus to grant her son`s privilege with Jesus in His Kingdom.

 Jesus asked them "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?  They replied yes.  Jesus answered them "you will indeed drink from my cup."

 My cup is the lives of children  many miles away.  It is a cup I would have never picked on my own.  The drink itself is bitter tasting.  It turns my stomach, causes sickness, tears, and despair-- and yet I also believe the drink itself brings life to me.

 

 The giant I write about is enormous.  The figures I come across keep changing and not in the right direction.  Billions of dollars are spent each year on the trafficking of young woman and children.  More than a million young children are being sold daily for the purpose of being exploited sexually.  Who knows how many children are actually involved?   As I do not think this money is reported to the Government, and I do not think a census is taken to accurately number the children.

 One person cannot do very much in terms of such numbers, so what does one person do?

 For myself I run, I put one foot in front of the other and try not to think of how far I have come and how far I still have to go.  I do not look or think I just run and hope and pray impossible thoughts and dreams much like the girls, that if they can dream of finding a husband I can dream of one day when the giant goes silent.

 While preparing my body for this last race a song came across my mind numerous times as I ran down my ravine.  Sometimes people on Earth seem to get away with their sins and go unpunished.  I thought this about the man in Cleveland who died three weeks into his life sentence.  I thought too soon, he did not pay enough.  His victims may have to pay for their whole lives for his evil.  Possibly his Justice was served just soon enough.

 The song is from Mumford and sons:  it starts as a man facing judgement on earth, in a very clever way they twist the writing into a day we will all face judgement day, and if I know anything this day did not go well for the man in Cleveland, nor will it go well for the many other men who are currently abusing children.

 

 You are their abusers now look at their faces

 Your oppression reeks of your greed and disgrace

 One man has while another has not

 How can you live with what you have got?

 When you took it all from the weak hands of the poor

 Murderers and thieves you don`t know what is in store

 There will come a time you will look in my eye

 You will pray to the God that you`ve always denied

 And I`ll go out back and I`ll get my gun

 You haven`t met me I am the only Son

 

  

 Larry

 

 

 

 

 

Freedom

 Friday October 18 was Anti-Slavery Day.

 I found this out at about 8.00 p.m. by going on The Ratanak International website,

 they included a quote from Abraham Lincoln "In giving freedom to the slave, we assure freedom to the free - honourable alike in what we give, and what we preserve.  We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best, hope of earth."  I spent a large portion of this day driving around downtown Toronto, unaware of the special status of this particular day as I am sure most of the people I came in contact with.  This in itself is a bit sad, far sadder to me is the fact how little this day would mean to a person currently living in slavery.

 Ironically enough on this day I was driving around downtown to pick up my racing gear for a half marathon race in Toronto.  

 "Marathon runners have a shelf life slightly longer than a fruit fly." is a quote I came across a few years ago.  

 Seeing two family members currently dealing with leg injuries is a daily reminder of how easy it would be to have my running end.  This Summer I decided to participate in different races and see some parts of the World my family has not been to, while I am able.

I am an advocate for as long as it takes for the Children in Cambodia, this will last longer than my running career, although running in my life has and continues to bring about awareness for this cause.

 The Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half-Marathon was to be one of these races.  Lining up at the starting line I have many thoughts.

 Some people run away from problems or unpleasant memories or experiences in their lives.  Running for me has became the opposite.  Running for me has brought me into a world I never knew of, or could even imagine it`s existence in my wildest nightmares.  Running has brought me face to face on a daily basis with the dark world of children in Cambodia held as sex slaves.  Running has allowed me to try and make a positive difference in these children`s lives.

 Ratanak International held a conference many years ago named "Slaying the Giant - Ending Child Sexual Exploitation."  I was a volunteer at this conference. There is a story from the Bible that most are familiar with.  It is a story of a boy facing a Giant (David and Goliath.)

 1 Samuel 17:48 As the Philistine moved closer to attack him; David RAN QUICKLY toward the battle line to meet him.

 When it is all said and done in my life I hope it can be said that I ran into battle facing this Giant of Greed, Exploitation, and Evil that holds young children captive; not fearfully, or begrudgingly;  but as David I hope it can be said that I ran as fast as I could and for as long as I could for  The Children in Cambodia.

 I think of some of the sacrifices my family allows for me to run.  Training for a Marathon is a very selfish pursuit, although my hope is that something beautiful comes out of these races.

 Gloria my driver: I am terrible with directions and you seem to always be the one looking up maps and road closures even in strange Cities.  Much like our life together you have never failed me once.

 Katarina: Today you have a touch of the flu, looking at your eyes I felt guilty about the early start.  Hearing you shiver in the car made me feel even worse.  Yet you came and expressed pleasant surprise at my time and remarked "you are fast Dad."

 Isabella:  The people familiar with my blog are waiting for your response.  Isabella did not ask me if I was going to win (first time ever.) Yet when I actually ran faster then expected having my family miss me at the finishing line.  Isabella asked Gloria "Do you think Daddy won?"

 As the race starts I say my Father`s prayer for me.  "Lord may I run for your glory today."

 3 km mark I think of the time 9.00a.m. in Toronto which would be 9.00p.m. in Cambodia.  As I run through the streets of Toronto I think of the streets in Cambodia where regular tourists, and Aid workers will not venture out at this time.  I think of the other tourists, the sex tourists, and the pedophiles who are roaming the streets at this hour.  I see a little face of a girl I don`t know yet I know her story. She is like a lamb being led to the slaughter amongst the wolves.  She is in Cambodia, she is terrified, she is defenceless.  I am overcome with emotion and I do what I can only do at such moments, I pray.  I pray that God protects this little girl for the length of my run today, that she will not be harmed for the next hour and a half or so.

 6 km mark The courses direction changes and the wind that has been a cross wind for the runners is now directly against us.

 Bolder now I ask that God would protect this girl for the rest of the night.

 13 km mark The wind is now at my back, but a series of small hills start.

 I think back to the girl and ask that she is to be protected not just for tonight, but for a whole week.

 20 km mark Most people may find this funny but I realize I am going to finish as I always have doubts about my ability to finish a race right up until the end.  Being even bolder I ask that God somehow supernaturally takes this girl, protects her from any who would harm her, and brings her to a place of rescue so that she never, ever has to wander these mean streets again.

21.1 km The finish line and what a pleasant surprise.  I ran my second fastest race ever.  For those who ask for numbers I finished in 1 hour 38 minutes and 15 seconds.  Well, well under pace for a Boston Marathon Qualifying time.

 

For quite some time the word freedom has been in my thoughts.  Lately it has made it`s way into commercials.

 I thought to spend some time  looking up some thoughts and opinions on this word from some leaders of the past as well as three people from the present.  Mark Buchanan a Christian writer said he has been told "he writes beautifully."  But Mark went on to say he feels he lives life messy. 

 A few people like my writing on this blog and send me nice comments after each post.  This makes me feel a little guilty because you are reading about a few edited moments of a few months of my life when everything comes together just right and sometimes, something very nice comes out.  My day to day life is far removed from these writings and listing my pettiness and flaws would be longer than my actual blog writing.

 There was a rally in Toronto the last week in September for freedom.  Lotto 649 has a commercial "Just imagine the freedom" where a person who has won the lottery is shown enjoying various forms of extravagance.

 Many billboards around the City I live in have Wind Mobile "true mobile freedom."

 Freedom 55 has been a slogan for a long time in commercials for a financial company, last year I heard a man in my gym bragging of his 15 years of financial freedom as he lived out his retirement.

 Freedom for my Daughter may have came the day when her broken leg healed and she said goodbye to her crutches and her cast.

 Miley Cyrus was using her freedom of expression on the award`s show with her provocative dance.

 Many recording artists use this same freedom when singing lyrics that many find offensive.

 To a recovering addict freedom may be the day when they started the battle to say no to whatever they were struggling with.

 The Pastor at my Church recently used 2 Corinthians 3:17 in a recent sermon.

 17 For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

 Freedom is a word that is hard to define as many people have many different opinions on it.

 The  Dictionary definition of freedom is "the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint."

 William Orville Douglas "The right to be left alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom."

 Abraham Lincoln "Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves."

 William Wilberforce not a quote on freedom but a quote on slavery I like and take to heart. "You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know."

 Now to the present three men, from different walks of life, all giving me excellent responses to my question on what the word freedom means to them.

 Sunder Krishnan (Senior and Preaching Pastor) Rexdale Alliance Toronto

 Sunder used to be a Rocket Scientist literally no jokes and turned from this career to be a Pastor.  The wisest man I have ever met who teaches and dispenses wisdom with Love and Humility.  If you are looking for a Church in Toronto you could do much worse than Rexdale Alliance.

 Sunder`s answer 1 "The test in Genesis 2 implies the gift of freedom is unique to humans. The freedom to transcend instincts, which the animal kingdom doesn`t have.

 2 True freedom implies limits and responsibility to one another and ultimately to our maker in whose image we have been made. God`s freedom is always consistent with His moral purity.

 3 Freedom is not being able to do whatever we want but to want to do what we ought to do."

 

 Neil Boron (former Pastor) Host of Lifeline a radio talk show on WDCX 99.5 F.M.

 Neil calls all his listeners "friends of the show."  Neil has been more than a friend to Ratanak International and myself personally as he has used his program numerous times to educate his listeners to the selling of young children for sex in Cambodia, and many other times challenged these same listeners to become involved in helping these children.

 "The freedom I am most familiar with is the freedom Jesus supplies (freedom from sin, addiction, helplessness, etc.) and that kind of freedom was not free.  It cost Jesus his life.  The other kind is freedom from slavery, tyranny, etc.  I have enjoyed that kind of freedom because someone (man tens of thousands) gave their very lives so I could live in precious (valued) liberty.  It seems to me that the ability to extend freedom to others is likely to come at a great personal cost.  From what I know of freedom personally, it surely seems worth the cost for others to share in this blessing!"

 

 J.M. (Jamie) Blaine a writer whose book on his life of dealing with mentally ill people and seeing God in these people (Midnight Jesus & Me) is a book I enjoyed more than any other in a very long time.  I highly recommend it.

 "Freedom is peace and peace must be seized.

 Freedom and peace can be different things to different people.

 One man`s freedom might be hell to me.

 I`ve met lifers in prison more free than the Pastor at the mega church.

 Freedom is a condition of the soul of the mind and the heart.

 Freedom is something I don`t think I have fully felt yet.

 But I see it down the road & catch a glimpse here & there."

  A logical progression would be for me to give my opinion on what I feel freedom means to me but I received an email last month that changed my thoughts.

 The email was from Lisa a mentor who is living in Cambodia right now on the front lines of the battle for freedom of young girls in Cambodia and for some older girls rescued from a life of slavery as Lisa and her staff  try to lead these older girls in wise choices for their futures.  On her blog she called it Bitter Sweet Moments.  Good news at the start of the email as 5 young women in a Ratanak program are to start University in October, this is no small feat and is great news as these girls most likely have faced abuse I could not imagine and yet in this impoverished  Country are going to get a chance to be the leaders of this Country.  People who have donated let this sink in and thank you as your money may have made it possible for these young women to continue to heal and to continue to distance themselves from their past.

 Lisa than talked of meeting up with an old friend of hers, a little 12 year old girl S. who was out with her 8 year old sister.  Lisa has known this girl for 5 years and had formed a bond with her although had not seen her in a while.  S. told Lisa she was going to the waterfront.  S. and her little sister were both dressed up and wearing make up. Lisa realized they were in fact being prepped to be sold later on that day.  This devastated me as Lisa had blogged much of this girl and now before her eyes  Lisa saw these young girls were being taken to the market literally.  I thought of her young age 12, and her even younger sister 8.  I pictured my Daughters ages 11 and 13 and this story really hit me hard.  Times like this are hard, for there is such a sense of helplessness, and hopelessness. I mean what can I do?

 And yet while the pain for me is so real.  I could not even begin to imagine how Lisa was feeling at this time.

 I had a very restless sleep and due to a very hectic schedule could only go to the gym for a very short workout the next morning.  The day before an older lady who tracks my running training asked about Tomorrow and when I told her it was a treadmill day she expressed surprise I would not go outside for my run as the weather was perfect for running this day.  I explained my schedule and added the word`s I have never used before "Tomorrow I will run fast."

 Contrary to what I originally believed as I started training for a marathon,  running an actual marathon for me is a passive action as I usually run a certain pace for more than half the race and than I end up having to "hold on" to some degree.  My second half times have varied from 6 to 13 minutes slower from my first half of the race. 

 This day I decided to be active and that I was going to attack the treadmill run in a way I rarely do or can.

 After stretching quickly I am on the treadmill and set the pace to a 7 minute 47 second mile, faster than a Boston Marathon qualifying pace and a very fast pace for this early in my training.  For some reason I think of a verse from the Book Of Job 39:18 speaking on the speed of an Ostrich

18 Yet when she spreads her feathers to run, she laughs at horse and rider.

10 minute mark I have not broken a sweat yet so I speed up to a 7 minute 30 second mile, this run is going very easy which for my treadmill run is also usually not the case.

20 minute mark I speed up to a 7 minute 15 second mile.  I notice my two wrist bands as I run.  The one on the right is from last year`s walkathon and says Bring Hope!  The wrist band  on the left is from a Conference Lisa organized many years ago of which I volunteered at. It is Isaiah 1:17

 Learn to do right!  Seek justice, encourage the oppressed.

 Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

 I think of some of the words to a Mumford and Sons song

 

 The Cave

 So tie me to a post and block my ears

 I can see widows and orphans through my tears

 I know my call despite my faults and all my growing fears

 But I will hold on hope

 And I won`t let you choke

 On the noose around your neck 

 And I`ll find strength in pain

 These words resonate with me.  Who wants to hear such stories?   Who wants to watch the documentaries?  Who wants to enter into this world of darkness?

 Yet these stories fuel passion, contrasting the small victories gained are much sweeter. Sometimes hope is the only thing to hold onto, hope ultimately in these girls Creator and that He who has led us to these girls will not fail, but will ultimately have the final say. Hope is also raised when people join together and raise funding and awareness at different events.  These girls are born with a noose around their neck, every abuse on their young bodies pulls the noose tighter.  Possibly I can take up the slack on the noose when I run for them.  I am not able to cut it away that is another persons work, but relieving some of the pressure is good enough for right now.  Strength in pain refers to the fact I am experiencing  pain means I am on the right track.  Soreness and discomfort are a constant companion in training for a marathon.  Actually pain and sometimes injury are the result in running in and completing one.

 30 minute mark I speed up to exactly a 7 minute mile. I was going to go faster but caution reigned me in a bit as I realized my busy day would not allow me to take proper care of my body after the run.

 My time I finish my 40 minute run at would be a 3 hour 8 minute marathon, my best marathon time ever is 3 hour 19 minutes.

 The feeling in the pit of my stomach has not gone away but I feel I have done what I can for today.

 The example in my life I thought of for that day on the treadmill is when we first bought our House.  The backyard was full of a concrete path around the pool.  My job one Summer was to break up this path, working on a budget my tools were a sledge hammer, a metal spike, and a strong back.  Some of the concrete broke easy, some was very hard to break.  The thickest pieces would take many blows from the sledge hammer to break.  Sometimes I wondered if they would ever break.  The surprising  thing was the toughest ones would not give at all until it was their time.  Yet when they broke it was not a little piece that came off, they were shattered, broken into many pieces.

 My hope is that the girls who my friends hold dearest in their hearts.  Lisa with S. Charlene with L. Brian with S. are key children in this battle, and yet when they are pulled free and rescued there will be a huge weakening of this evil empire.  The fallout will be much like the concrete in my backyard.  I picture a damn breaking and huge numbers of girls being swept away to their rescue as the key girls are pulled free.

 My thoughts on freedom: I have only experienced freedom in every area of my life and although I do not understand or appreciate freedom fully.  I know I have been greatly blessed to experience such freedom.  A young girl in Cambodia can and will one day tell her story of starting her life in slavery and what true freedom means to her.  Freedom is a gift from God and gifts are mean`t to be shared, not hoarded.  Sharing freedom may mean giving up some of our rights, comforts, and privileges to reach down and pull up the ones in the world not able to experience freedom, sharing freedom may mean carrying loads when we would rather be doing something else.  Freedom is a serious word and I hope to never use it in a trivial manner ever again.

 

 I close with the words of Martin Luther King Jr.  In Cleveland the last 3 miles of the Marathon were run on the freeway named after him.  I thought I may have some inspiring words to write about finishing my race on such a historic land mark, but I was too hot, too tired, true to form I was in fact" just holding on."  These words are from his "I have a dream" speech.  What I find interesting is that he starts out talking about his dream of black people having equality with white people, he finish`s with a picture of the whole world.  Possibly when Cambodia and it`s children experience freedom other Countries and their people around the world will follow suit.

 

"And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God`s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last!"

 

Larry