Do I Know The Way To Buffalo?

Today I ran The Chilly Half Marathon.  A record was set today, the outside temperature for this race; not my time. I ran with no hat and no gloves to a very respectable 1 hour 40 minutes.

As I picked up my kit at the expo on Friday a volunteer gave me a coupon for 20 percent off the sponsors line of product. I laughed out loud thinking of the remote chance of ever using this coupon. The sponsor was Mercedes Benz.

Last week I came across a quote I loved, it is deep and not light hearted.
Charles Bukowski

Find what you love and let it kill you.
Let it drain you of your all.
Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it kill you and devour your remains.
For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it`s much
better to be killed by something you love.

Immediately I thought of Brian McConaghy and Lisa Cheong and their pursuit of justice and freedom for those in Cambodia. I thought of the sacrifices they make daily.
For approximately three months out of every year I try to do the same.
Next is an article sent to a magazine for May`s printing.

I have been a runner for the last seven years. Running is an unexpected gift I have received; it is my shelter from the storms of life, eliminating my problems and stresses. This "gift" has added years to my life.  

I have run seven full marathons. I am currently in training for my eighth, scheduled for this May in Buffalo.  Training for and running marathons is the hardest thing I have ever chosen to do. The day of the race yields many surprises, very rarely positive ones!  Indeed, though running has added years to my life -  Running marathons may have taken some away!

I run marathons for the not for profit organization Ratanak International. Their mandate is to help victims of sexual exploitation in Cambodia.
I run marathons because I feel I have to; not because I like to.

I run marathons to show my daughters that to follow a dream you must make sacrifices.

I run marathons because I was always told "one man can make a difference." Running marathons has allowed me to try and be that man.

I run marathons experiencing temporary pain, in a small way it reminds me of the pain these young women must bear.

I run marathons because I am not smart enough to stop.

I have also been part of organizing four 5km walkathons to benefit the same organization.

 
The walkathons have raised over $95 000. Since this will be a special 5th anniversary that will see us reach the impressive figure of $100 000, I felt the need to try and do something special to celebrate this numerical milestone.
It is said that "imitation is the highest form of flattery".  Well, two years ago Neil Boron, a radio host from WDCX in Buffalo walked 100 miles from Buffalo to Mississauga and then took part in the Ratanak 5km walkathon.
One summer night I watched a documentary with my wife on runners called ‘Desert Runners’. One race was in The Sahara Desert, and in one day the runners ran 100 miles. This challenge appealed to me so I asked my wife permission to try this race; not surprisingly I was denied.

A week later I asked my wife about another idea that I had devised: namely, a  ‘reverse Neil Boron’!  I would run from Mississauga to Buffalo, and then run the full Buffalo Marathon on May 29. She said yes provided I get a driver.

My father, Don, agreed and now we are in the beginning stages of planning my run.

This journey may be called: 'Don and Larry`s Excellent Adventure.'  A huge problem for me in this endeavour will be my sense of direction, or lack thereof. I have been lost in every single part of the Greater Toronto Area; fortunately for me my driver/spotter knows his way around Ontario very well and my fear of making a wrong turn and running an extra twenty miles are mostly alleviated.

 My first marathon in Mississauga 2009 was run in support of the "NewSong Center": a project Ratanak started up in response to the need for looking after very young girls rescued from sexual slavery. A few years ago, Ratanak turned this program over to another organization and concentrated its efforts on another area that they felt needed support: young woman further along in their healing, but who were not quite ready to move out on their own. This program was named the “Ratanak Achievement Program”. I have decided that all funds from the walkathon and my journey will be directed to this program. I thought of the possibility of a young girl aged ten at the NewSong Center at the time of my first marathon who is eighteen now living in RAP. I thought of how with each marathon I ran she may have been moving closer to her healing, and how the efforts of a man in Mississauga she may never meet may have improved this young woman`s quality of life, and may have given her a chance to succeed.

There are so many great causes in this world. My heart always has been with the girls in Cambodia, perhaps because I am blessed to have a beautiful family of two daughters and my wife, who have experienced a much different life then the young women I run for.

I believe many people working together can partner and make a difference in these young women and their destinies.
More information in upcoming blogs.

Larry

 

 

 

 

The Way Of The Cross

The month of January was not kind to my family. We spent almost every day at Hospitals or doctor offices. We dealt with meningitis, pneumonia, and migraines. We were afraid, exhausted, overwhelmed, and ill. Death smothered us for an intense 48 hour period. January is over, Thank God! Everyone in my family who was affected are on the way to full recoveries. February please be kind.

Reading quotes on social media as a loved one was unconscious and moved about restlessly in a coma on the intensive care unit, close to death, one stood out. "fight this disease, tell death to f___ off!" I have read a similar quote on a cancer website for a young boy.
My mind started working and I pondered these words a great deal.
When we think of defeating or overcoming issues in our world such as sickness, injustice, etc. We always think of offensive actions. We want to do something, anything, we want to be active, initiate, we want to fight, we want to be on the offensive, marching forward. We never want to stay still, to rest, to endure, to recover.

In other words we chose "the way of the world." We rarely chose  "the way of the cross."
The way of the cross goes against our being, but it seems to be the most efficient way to win. When your body is ravaged by meningitis you can`t fight, you have to let the antibiotics flush out the bacteria. Same with pneumonia, being active is counter productive and causes far more harm than good. Migraines are treated by lying down in a dark room, not by doing something.

Churched people always love the story of Jesus and his righteous anger. Jesus overturned tables, and drove out the moneychangers with a whip. We like this story, sometimes we use it to justify our episodes of anger. We can relate to a God like this. We struggle to relate to a God who allowed Himself to die on a cross. Which event created a greater ripple effect in history?

Mahatma Ghandi was largely responsible for India`s freedom of English rule by marching, hunger strikes, and imprisonment, his approach was nonviolent civil disobedience.

Martin Luther King Jr and Malcom X both had the same goal: Black equality with whites. One approach was nonviolent civil disobedience based on Christian beliefs, one was militaristic, highly violent. My opinion is that MLK Jr`s approach has furthered black persons rights.

Nelson Mandela was imprisoned for many years in South Africa for his views on apartheid. Nelson Mandela eventually became President of South Africa, apartheid has been abolished.

Ten years ago my heart was broken from the stories I heard about young Cambodian girls held against their will in rooms to be used as sex slaves. I saw pictures of some of these rooms, these rooms were made of concrete, bars were on the windows, there was only one door, one way into the room, one way out. I saw pictures of some of these girls.

One day I tried to put myself into these girls place. I tried to imagine the terror they must have felt when they heard the approaching footsteps, seeing the door handle turn, seeing an outline of a man who was there to terrorize, brutalize, and destroy.
One day I came up with a worldly solution. What if I take some of my really tough friends, what if appeal to all the good men we know, men who love women and young children as Jesus did. What if we offer my solution. Fly to Cambodia enter these rooms and put ourselves as guards to these children. Any men entering these rooms must go through us to harm the young girls. If we are defeated we will leave the room and the children are at the mercy of the victors, if we defeat these men they must leave Cambodia never to come back again.
This is a "way of the world" approach that for obvious reasons has not been attempted.
I than thought of another way of the world approach. I would run full marathons for these children. At the time running a marathon seemed kind of glamorous and sexy. I have since learned of some of my limits. I can run 21.1 km (half marathon) relatively easy. I have shovelled snow, cut the lawn, cleaned my eaves troughs the same day. I usually work the next day.
I can run a 30 km race with a little more difficulty, but generally I have found very few problems at this distance.
I have never had an easy 42.2 km (full marathon). After 30 km many things start to happen to my mind and body. I need at least a week to make a somewhat recovery, my body is usually off for at least a month.
The full marathon is my way of the cross, it is my way of bringing funding and awareness for the exploited people in Cambodia.
I am much closer to the end than the start of my marathon career, so this year I have decided to really test myself, and hopefully draw a little more attention to my cause. 

I am indeed training for the Buffalo Marathon. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Two years ago Neil Boron of WDCX radio walked the 100 miles or 160 kilometers from Buffalo to Mississauga and than took part in the Ratanak 5kmwalkathon. The week of May 20 to May 27 I will run from Mississauga to Buffalo.
May 29 I will run the Buffalo Marathon.
June 11 I will watch other participants running/walking at Erindale Park for the fifth annual 5kmwalkathon.
June 12 to September I will rest, heal, refresh and allow myself to be restored.

Larry




 

The Gift Triton Ghost Shrimp

The other day I was sent a link to a video from a friend. After viewing it I started the process of writing this blog.
The video shows a young woman playing a violin in the subway. For the next few minutes alternating scenes from the subway and her life are shown. Most people in the subway ignore her, in fact most don`t even look up from their phones. The alternate scenes are the lady playing her violin in front of full stadiums, receiving awards, etc. At the end of the video a small nativity scene is shown and the question is asked "do you see the gift?"
The woman`s name is Lindsey Stirling, she played Hallelujah.
Ignoring the obvious, in that a lot of  people refuse the gift of eternal life started by the birth of Jesus, I thought of the people in the video missing out on the here and now gift. The gift was the opportunity to see a world class violinist playing a beautiful song just for them, at no cost. Possibly busyness, fear or some other reason kept them from receiving this gift.

I thought of all the gifts in my life. A Pastor once wrote "if you honestly pray and thank God for every blessing in your life, you will not leave your house that day."
In a book by Gary Haugen he mentioned a gift he wished to leave with his children.
These are my thoughts of instilling a gift.
"As the father of two teenaged girls I have tried to leave them a gift. The gift I have tried to teach is to look down, and not up."
By that I mean, "Don`t look up at people who are more successful or have more money than you. Don`t look up at people who are more famous or attractive than you. Look down toward people who have less than you and need help. Look down and offer whatever you can: your time, your money, your love. Look down and thank God for each and every blessing He has given you, and share them with people who need them most."
Looking around at what I do have, and not what I could have had sobered me. I realize how many gifts in the form of family, friends, health, employment, freedom, etc I take for granted in my life.

"Now I`ve heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord." are the first two lines of Hallelujah.
I believe the secret chord in David`s life was obedience, and total trust in God. David fought a lion, bear when he was protecting his sheep. David defeated a giant who was mocking his God. This is the time in his life that God was most pleased with him.
For me obedience and trust comes from running yearly marathons in trying to bring healing to hurting people in Cambodia.

On December 26 Boxing day my family was getting ready to leave our house for a special birthday meal that took place in one hour. Isabella my younger daughter was very upset about her fish Triton and his health.
After investigating my family realizes his water is not healthy and we start a lengthy process of draining the water, cleaning his tank and refilling his tank with clean water.
Part of the deal of taking this fish from a friend was that my daughter`s were to be responsible for his care. I am upset and ready to let loose with a lot of angry, negative comments. Comments that would hurt someone who already feels terrible.
I realize part of my anger is thinking ahead and what it will cost me. Tomorrow was to be a very rare"me day." A day where I slept in, took it very easy, and had no responsibilities. Now I think about continuing the process of cleaning, and refilling the tank. I also think of going to the pet store with all the post Christmas shoppers at a busy shopping mall, not my idea of fun.
Before speaking I think of how God the father handles my sin, how He handled the prodigal son, how He relented on His punishment of David numbering his fighting men, how He gave Hezekiah healing. 
When calm I hugged Isabella and told her "there are consequences in life for our actions, and our inactions, however we will pray for mercy for your fish." I resisted the temptation of making promises either to God or my daughter.
The next day the pet store was packed of course. The nice lady who worked there made sure our filter was working and sold us ghost shrimp, as they help in cleaning fish tanks. She also told us the next few days were the most important for Triton.

After the second day I thought Triton would die as he was very sluggish and would only move a few inches. Today, the fourth Triton is moving around a little more and actually came to the surface for his feeding. The shrimp are fun to watch, especially when they eat, as the colour of their food shows through their transparent bodies. We may have created a different problem as Isabella has told my oldest daughter Katarina she cannot eat shrimp at restaurants any more as that would be like eating a family member.

 

In an earlier writing I wrote about some responses to my daughter`s sensitivity, such as being told my daughter`s could not live on a farm. That's fine God did not put us on a farm. I could not live on a farm either.
A friend remarked how she was like Isabella when she was young, a friend who is heavily involved in bringing freedom to the captives in Cambodia.
Studies done on serial killers, sadists, rapists etc have found many times these people started out by inflicting pain on animals.
Instead of trying to push down my daughter`s sensitive nature, why not embrace it for possibly God is using her love and compassion of animals as a way of preparing her for her calling of a group of marginalized people later in life, much as He did with me.
Larry



 

Childrens Laughter Keep Running But Please No Hills

As an amateur writer I seem to have high standards for books I choose to read. A book came in the mail that I could not wait to start reading, finishing the book in less than a week I was not disappointed.
Midnight Jesus written by Jamie Blaine was the book. Jamie writes about his experiences as a late night psychotherapist, and how he constantly finds Jesus amongst the least of these. Many parts of the book resonated with me.
Here are three examples.

Jamie writes "There are people of faith who somehow find the place where they are standing on the hilltop, smiling and clean in clothes that match, arms lifted in the sun. I am not one of those Christians. I am mismatched and muddy, and ragged, and if there is a hill I`m falling down it backward with both feet in the air."

When I read this I pictured someone who represents a picture of who I perceive to be "the perfect Christian." I thought of a pastor I know, the most righteous man I have ever known, still married to the same wife, both kids successful and heavily involved in ministry. This pastor confessed his sin from the pulpit, minor stuff I do ever day, and think nothing of. He is approaching 70 still preaching with integrity no scandals, still going strong.
If there is a hill for Christians I want no part of it. I have ran too many hills in training for crazy hills in marathons.
Hill is a four letter word for me. Climbing hills are traps.
Is a shepherd higher up the hill than a King?
When was David more alive, happier, closer to God?

Imagine my surprise when twice in the last month I had examples of others viewing me as the guy on the top of the hill.
Driving to a 5k run that benefitted breast cancer my Mother in law expressed concern about leaving my car in a high school parking lot and taking a shuttle to the race. I told her "I am not worried about something bad happening to me when I am doing some good to help others." Sketchy theology at best with no Biblical backing, but for me I have found this to be true.
She replied "if that was true you would never have anything bad happen to you."
I looked over at her expecting a smile, and saw she was looking straight ahead. Although it is great to have your mother in law believe this of you it shocked me to realize how little she knows of the true me.

At work we are given a yearly review by a superior. Coworkers have charted your year with comments, statistics, etc. If the good outweighs the bad you are given a raise. Vice versa and I guess your wages stays the same or worse.
My last review lasted a long time. At the 10 minute mark I wanted to stop the process and ask if I could make a recording to play back the conversation to my wife for the times when I am less than perfect.
After 30 minutes my manager finished, not one negative comment. I was a bit dizzy and felt like I had just experienced an out of body experience and that someone at work had been masquerading as me for the past year.

In his book Jamie talks about his work in a roller skating rink, he said. "I have never once dreaded going to work at the rink. Never remember having a bad day. Never thought of calling in sick. It`s the lights and the music, the wind in your hair. The smell of hot popcorn and little kids laughing.
Little kids laughing is the voice of God."

When my youngest daughter was in kindergarten she would stay after school and play in the playground with a friend of hers. The sounds of these two little girls laughing and squealing with utter joy without a care in the world lifted my spirit and brings a smile to me many years removed. I think God enjoys these moments most, for this was His purpose, His intention for children.
God does not allow us to feel this sense of contentment forever, for it is a broken world in which we live in and although we are broken ourselves sometimes God wants us to try and help others mend.

One day while watching my daughter play my mind wandered to the lives of other young girls I had learned about. Girls who lived a world away from me. These girls life experience has no joy or laughter. Their squeals came from terror and pain. Torture and misery were part of their everyday existence. My thoughts had taken me to the young girls in Cambodia held as sex slaves.

Tears spilled down my cheek as I thought of the unfairness of life.
These girls and their abusers represent the voice and the will of satan being done on earth.
I so wanted to as much as possible to give the girls in Cambodia a life like my daughters. I wanted satans voice drowned out so these Cambodian girls could hear God`s voice. I realized funding and awareness were the keys to combatting this problem. Taking stock of my life skills I realized I seemed to have no way of making this goal become a reality.

At a crossroad in his life Jamie went to a pastor for advice. Jamie`s pastor told him "God rarely gives specifics. Just start walking and God will show you the way."
My daughter finished kindergarten and moved into grade one. This was a crossroad point for me, for now I had the morning off  before going to work. Running became part of my exercise routine and one day I had the thought why not run a marathon dedicated to Ratanak International and it`s work with oppressed people in Cambodia? A moderate amount of money was raised, a newspaper article appeared so I decided to run another marathon.
For the second marathon a little more money was raised including another newspaper article.

After the second marathon I calculated how much time and money I put into training for my marathons compare to the money raised.
I concluded that if I had put these hours into a minimum wage job and donated the money to Ratanak International I would have made a bigger contribution.
Marathon runners are nothing if not stubborn so despite these figures I ran my third marathon, Boston 2011. Boston is where I thought of having a small 5km walkathon to benefit Ratanak.
 
Things that are torn down and destroyed, things left for dead cannot be restored overnight.
Jesus used the parable of the mustard seed Matthew 13 31-32 "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of all garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds come and perch in its branches."
Now as I continue running I see part of God`s perfect plan in my life.

Today I just finished another race The Angus Glen Half Marathon. This was race number twenty three for me.
Here is the shirt and the medal.

I love the shirt for my family sees me this way before every race, Ratanak volunteers see me this way before and at each walkathon.

Here are my running medals.

I seem to have accumulated a lot. They have a lot of sentimental value but besides that they are worthless.
Beginning stages of planning for the fifth Ratanak 5km walkathon have begun. I think of a Mayor, M.P.P, Councillor, professional runner, Blue Jay player I will invite over the winter.
I think of the publicity generated and the money raised.
So far the total is over $95 000.

During my time as a volunteer for Ratanak  I have heard examples of former sex slaves as young girls, becoming University educated, and counsellors themselves. I have heard a story of a former victim, a young woman dancing freely with no shame. I have heard stories of young woman being healed enough to move out of programs to live on their own allowing other to take their place and continue healing.

Yes as Jamie`s pastor told him God rarely gives specifics.
For me my life has been just start running, just keep running and God will show the way has been my life the last eight years. 
My running medals have no earthly value but one day I will meet my heavenly treasures.
Larry


  

Five Weddings Triton Five Kilometers

This was the year of the wedding for me. I had five friends marriages. I attended three. The last wedding we received a gift, the newest family member arrived.
I am not Abraham and Gloria is not Sarah we received a Betta fish.

The bride met her husband on the dating website "Plenty of fish" and thought having a fish at the reception would be a nice touch. The bride asked Gloria if she would be interested in keeping the fish after the reception? Dr Dolittle aka Isabella heard about this offer and we could not say no.
During the ceremony I heard the familiar words "forsaking all others" and wondered why this seems so hard.
This problem has been going on for a long time. In responding to the Pharisees. Matthew 19:8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard."
I have been taught the men of Israel were leaving their wives for younger woman and were looking to be justified.

Back to the fish. I was a nervous wreck at the reception as I had a vision of something bad happening to the fish, such as a guest knocking over the bowl, or a guest pouring something into the bowl.
Finally it was time to take the fish to the safety of our hotel room. Unfortunately the parking lot for the reception hall was full so I had to leave our car at the hotel. This mean`t a very long walk for me.
During my walk three youths were across the road talking, and acting very aggressively. I wondered what to do if they started bothering me?
Fortunately the man in a suit carrying a fish bowl through the park late on a Saturday night attracted none of their interest and I did not have to find out. Next my arms started getting tired and I had visions of me dropping the fish bowl. I compared it to the point in a marathon when things start going South and I have to force myself to keep going.
Fortunately our fish survived and now resides in our aquarium.

I have learned a lot about this type of fish. Isabella named him Triton. Betta fish are native to Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, and Thailand. I thought if I cannot go to Cambodia at least I have brought a bit of Cambodia to my home.
Betta fish have another name, they are also known as Siamese fighting fish. Triton would not get along with other Betta fish, even females. Triton has a very short list of other possible fish we can introduce him to. Triton in spite of his beauty will probably have a very lonely life.
When we turn on his aquarium light we noticed Triton would charge into the glass. We have since learned this is common with Betta fish as they are attacking their reflection thinking it is a rival.
My oldest Daughter Katarina always tells me "I give out life lessons." Sometimes I am learning them as well.

Triton charging into the glass makes me think about people who let other people and events from their past affect their present life. When things from the past are not dealt with and anger and bitterness still reside we become like Triton smashing into the glass. The people who have hurt us are long gone, the only person getting hurt is ourselves. In some ways until we learn to let go of these negative emotions the person/people who hurt us will always have control over us.

I ran a 5 kilometer race last weekend. A friend once asked me "for a 5 k race would you just get out of bed?" For this one that is what I basically did.
I had a cold\flu that lasted one month, this race was scheduled in the middle of this time. I was still awake at 2.30 a.m. coughing quite a lot, on the downstairs couch as not to disturb Gloria. I ate a bowl of Doritos and chuckled to myself thinking this is not the "carb loading" I should be doing. All in all I got two hours of sleep.

As she takes this picture Katarina says "try to look like you don`t want to kill someone."
Driving to the race I am coughing and my Mother in law is concerned about me running. I tell her not to worry, she responds she always worries. I think back to driving my ninety year old Grandmother somewhere a few years ago and how she was worried about her son. I told her son was sixty something, she responded "you always worry about your children no matter the age."
We are told not to worry in the Bible, but Motherly concern is a beautiful thing and I have been blessed to have every woman of importance in my life having this quality. In some ways I think God is concerned for us in the same way.

The start of the race is a bit exciting. There are many people at this event, I almost ran into a cameraman who was kneeling on the ground I guess to get close ups. I have always wondered how the first runners in a race know how to follow the course (Most of you who know me know I get lost everywhere.) This Sunday I found out. A motorcycle police officer leads the first runners. I know this because somehow I was one of the runners close to the front. The course is flat, the wind is strong, my breathing is very laboured. The 3km sign appears and I think of stopping to walk, this actually encourages me, for this thought comes to mind in every race I have ever run. I think of the reason why I am at this race and I continue running.
The 4km mark a huge hill starts and I get angry at the Race director who decided on this course. I think of people nearing the end of a difficult stretch in their lives and quitting before finishing, not knowing how close they were to finishing. I think of someone I know who has finished chemotherapy, and is now starting radiation, numbness in her hands, and for her every day has become a struggle.
I continue running to the end and came in tenth place. Isabella`s Principal saw me at the run and told Isabella "your Father is an excellent runner." Wait for it, yes wait for it, wait for it a bit more (I have waited eight years) Isabella answered "I know."
Today was not for my results, today was for someone close to me.

I just finished running the CIBC 5k run to end breast cancer with my mother in law and two daughters.
I ran for the past as I have lost two Aunt`s to this disease. Lois who is still remembered fondly and missed dearly. Karmella who sadly I never had the chance to meet.
I ran for the future. A future in which I hope my teenage daughter`s never have to fear.
One in nine woman in Canada will develop breast cancer.
One in twenty nine will die from this.
A sign at the event mentioned "since 1986 mortality from breast cancer has declined 43 percent."
I ran for the present. My Mother is a two year survivor.
Mostly I ran for you Katherine, my sister in law deep into your second battle with this disease.
At the start of the race there was a parade of ladies who were all cancer survivors. I long for the day when pain and fear are not part of your existence. I long for the day when you write, edit, and laugh again. I long for the day when your body is cancer free. I look forward to the day when you take part in your own personal parade.
Today I ran for you Katherine!

Larry

 
 
  
 
 
 
 

Change of Season Softening of My Heart

This writing comes as August turns into September. This time of year always evokes conflicting feelings within me. For parents of children in school it is a time when your life speeds up, at least for me. It is a time when most of us long for summer as we taste the fall, and look ahead to winter.

John 11:35 Jesus wept. This is the shortest verse in the Bible and for me the most interesting, and encouraging. Jesus wept at Lazarus`s funeral even though Jesus knew He was to bring Lazarus back from the dead. I believe Jesus wept because of the pain and suffering people on earth experience.
One day I was behind a Grandfather pushing his severely mentally limited granddaughter in a store. The next day on the news I saw the many thousands of migrants risking their lives to flee their own Country to go somewhere, anywhere to leave their oppression behind. I read about a celebrity restaurant person charged with serious crimes against young girls. I tried to look up a quote by a man who fights human trafficking on his website. I was actually sickened by some of the stories I read about, and how some men treat the most vulnerable of our society.
I thought about God and wondered how could He watch everything that unfolds in a day? When I see such a small portion and feel like pulling the covers over my head and never leaving my bed.

My social media friends are very divided. A mention of a hot topic issue seems to bring out much name calling and hatred from both sides. I have stayed quiet on most issues. I have my beliefs. I have very strong, very personal reasons for my beliefs.
I wonder to myself is being quiet being cowardly? Or is being quiet being wise? I have not rushed into the scrum when a free for all has broken out amongst my facebook friends.
Do my Christian friends think I am being lukewarm?
Do my other friends think I agree with all they stand for?
I have been taught to pick my battles wisely. 
"Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." a quote attributed to Francis of Assisi (now there is some dispute about who said this)
Lead by example, do your work with pride, treat your spouse with respect, love your neighbours, live your life without any hint of scandal and people will wonder why you are different and may want to change.
Bruxy Cavey Pastor at The Meeting House when asked about the reaction of some Christians and the angry, hurtful, hateful way they attacked a Christian organization for a difference of opinion. "The Church never gave up its power to hurt and kill. It was taken away, but they never gave it up."
I think about the people who Jesus went after most, the religious hypocrites.
I think about how when the woman caught in adultery was brought to him, Jesus let her go, about how when Jesus met the woman at the well with seven failed marriages. He revealed His true identity to her, she was the first non Jewish person. Jesus also did say "sin no more."
I wonder to myself how can I be more like Jesus? That is to not compromise, but also never to stop loving the people who sin? How can I effectively bring about change? 

At my oldest Daughter`s church dedication a single Mother dedicated her son. I am grateful that this church and the congregation accepted both of them. I am grateful this church offered many programs without judging to help mothers who decide to keep their children.
I am also grateful for the churches who provide counselling for young Mother`s who have decided to terminate pregnancies and struggle with guilt.
I am grateful for the many in my life who have stayed faithful to their spouses and have modeled loving marriages that have lasted more than 50 years.
I am most grateful for my Mother who carried me for nine months, delivered me and allowed me to go to a loving family via adoption.

A Summer meeting of my friends from the Ratanak Toronto core group. Most meetings have a flexible agenda. Prayer for Cambodia is front and center and usually upcoming events are discussed. At one point we usually break into small groups. One hour into the last meeting we felt a heaviness in the room over what many people were facing in their lives and we decided to stay together. Cambodia did not come up but some people who were carrying heavy burdens were covered in prayer, sealed with tears, the kind of prayer that changes things.
I went home feeling surprisingly good. My heaviness was still with me but I felt like doing something positive.

These are weeds on the road in front of my house. This picture is of a small area, the area I wanted to clear out is approximately 200 feet long. I grabbed my shovel and went to work. Two hours later I had removed all the weeds from the road.

What I found surprising was how shallow the roots were. The weeds are large and were growing on top of concrete, yet most came up very easily when I put a little pressure on them.
I thought of the weeds as the trappings of our society. Fame, money, power, sex all are like those weeds, satan is the root of these weeds. They look to bring you happiness but nothing shallow will satisfy.

"Life is short have an affair." Used to be the slogan for the much in the news dating website for married couples.
My slogan would be "life is short, join a cause."
I think of the number of members to this website over 39 million. I think of each member donating one dollar to a charity and think of the good that can come from 39 million dollars.
At a recent family get together a young girl found an old real estate sign of my Father`s, and walked around the room with it in front of her. Most family members laughed, not me for a young girl holding up a for sale sign in front of herself struck a nerve. 
I think of all the pain and suffering in this world and how God expects us to run towards it and not away from it.
I think of the words to a Sia song and how easy it would be to let the pain in this world overwhelm me.

Elastic Heart
You did not break me
I`m still fighting for peace

I`ve got thick skin and an elastic heart
But your blade it might be too sharp
I`m like a rubber band until you pull too hard
I may snap and I move fast
But you won`t see me fall apart
Cos I`ve got an elastic heart

You did not break me
I`m still fighting for peace

The reason so many in this world are able to continually enter into the areas of darkness and hopelessness is not because of any outstanding qualities of our own. It is because of who sustains us. When training for a marathon I run by many tree roots such as these.

These roots cannot be lifted by a shovel, these roots will not let the tree be pulled up by hand as I was able to do to the weeds. When you are involved in issues of the World that Jesus cares deeply about He is your root.

Larry



 

Number Thirty Seven

Blog number 37, viewer 6 000 + 
Each post I think may be my last. I hope to be authentic and original in my writing. I never want it to be lukewarm, watered down, or nostalgic.  
I thought I was going to take some time off writing and running. I have been told by many people to write a book, none of them are authors or editors. (possibly these people want to stop reading my blog) This is my latest writing of what I thought was to be my summer off. Images appeared to me and I felt I was to write what they represent.

By taking the bite of the fruit and offering it to her husband Adam; Eve (worlds first woman) dipped her foot in the pool that is known as sin.
Cain, Eve`s first born son murdered his brother Abel, and jumped into the pool of sin head first as a lot of men are prone to do.

This is a picture of our family pool while some work was being completed. To me it represents what sin looks like. 
Any man who abuses, humiliates, or tortures a child is stepping into this filthy water. Unfortunately they take their victims with them.

This is a picture of our pool now. To me it represents what God`s plan is for our lives. For some reason even though we should know better we are prone to immerse ourselves in the upper picture, more than the lower.

I have already started planning long range for my next year races. Next spring I will embark on a week long run to my marathon destination. Hopefully I will than run a full marathon. This required a driver, checked off. Wife permission?
Last weekend Gloria and I watched a documentary on desert runners. Four runners tried to run races that took place in four different deserts over the course of a year. Each race consisted of four days of an almost marathon. The fifth day is a 100 km race to the finish line. The temperature in The Sahara desert on the day of the long run was 50 C or 122 F. One runner collapsed, one runner died. I could not imagine the will power, the mental strength needed to finish this race.
Strangely it appealed to me. I asked Gloria if she would ever let me try this race? A very resounding no came back to me, seconded by Katarina.
I guess what I have planned seems mild in comparison and I have indeed been granted wife permission.

One day I walked into my side yard to witness the beginning of an aftermath of destruction.

 Lucy, one of our families cats had caught a baby mouse and was "playing" with it. Isabella put Lucy in the house and put the baby mouse in a shoe box.
I called a wildlife center to ask for advice. Isabella was very upset. I hugged her and told her the best chance for this mouse was to have it`s mother come back for it. I also told Isabella I was praying for the mouse. I did pray but resisted the temptation to promise anything if God somehow saved this mouse, experience has taught me I am not very good at keeping my rash promises.
After a while the baby mouse was put into a place where we thought its nest was. A few minutes later Lucy somehow got out of the house and found the mother mouse. After putting Lucy back into the house again, we looked after the mother.

We put the mother mouse in the same vicinity as we had put the baby. Isabella gave an up to the minute report of hearing the mother making noise, and not seeing the baby.
After a while Isabella did not hear any mouse noises, and could not find either mouse. Whether or not they were reunited I do not know, I hope so, I prayed so.

Some friends and family members weighed in on this story. "Mice are rodents, and a nuisance." "You and your daughter could not live on a farm." "Your daughter has to be less sensitive."
Some of my thoughts after reflection. Does the world we live in need more rational, cold, passionless, judgemental people? Could the world not use more passionate, caring, loving people willing to do whatever necessary to help those in need? God made my daughter this way, and though I know she has a tough road ahead, and have wondered about such a heart in this world. I would not change this part of her makeup.

This story resonated with me on so many different levels. Lucy represented the pedophiles, the baby mouse represented the victims in Cambodia and others places in the world, Isabella and myself represented the reaction of the people of this world. Lucy is a cat and does not know any better, but still she terrorized these mice. The pedophiles in Cambodia have no such excuse. I again am reminded at being told by a very wise woman many years ago "Do not even try to understand the evil that is behind the abuse of these children." I cannot for the life of me understand what could motivate a human being to derive pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering on another, especially a child.

I have always been surprised at the number of men compared to women in the area of my involvement as a volunteer for Ratanak International and their work in helping victims of trafficking, and sexual exploitation. A rough estimate to me seems to be that eight out of ten volunteers are women. 
In the earlier story my first reaction was to be angry, and punish Lucy.
Many men I know talk about what they would like to do to the men who abuse women and children. This is a normal, acceptable reaction. But it is not enough!
Too often we as men overlook the victim. If I am mad at Lucy but ignore the baby mouse I am failing in my duty, because possibly I was made aware of the situation more to help the victim, than to punish the perpetrator.
 
To save the baby mouse I was willing to take a day off work, drive it to a wildlife shelter, and pay whatever fee was expected. I did not worry of the cost, or time, or whatever others thought of me.
My reaction encouraged me as I think of my role in the bringing of justice to woman and children in Cambodia.
I do love animals myself  but my reaction to help was based upon how much it broke my heart to see how much my daughter was hurting for this baby mouse.

I am a marathon runner. Most marathon runners are not complex. A shirt in a recent race summed up mine and many other of my fellow runners thoughts "left, right repeat for 26.2 miles."
I have no long range plans, or ways to bring about the change I so long to see.
BUT God has given me a passion, and a dream to see the buying and selling of young woman and children in Cambodia for sexual exploitation end. How? When? Who will be involved?  I do not know? But I do know that God cares more about me and my hurt at the victims in Cambodia than I cared about Isabella`s pain.
God also cares more about the victims in Cambodia`s pain than Isabella did for the baby mouse.
God is not limited in his resources, and time as I am. I plod along now "left, right repeat" for as long as it takes.
But God knows how, when, and who will bring about His desired change.

Larry