Monday 8 May 2023

Running for a good friend

 In November I received the news that shook me to my core. An amazing friend from work shared these words “my cancer can`t be cured. At most I have 18 to 24 months left to live.” Less than 1% of Canadians will ever run a full marathon, in 2023 only 0.02% will. I decided to run a full marathon and dedicate the training and completion to my friend Jason Bowser. For those who have run a Marathon they know they are anything but glamorous, the training for the race and the race itself seem to bring out the worst in ones' body. I picked Georgina Spring Fling. Today`s run had the wheels basically fall off, and it seemed more challenging than normal. I seemed to have caught a cold, both legs had cramping, and a new symptom for a race I had nausea starting at the 14 km mark. People I know who have done chemo have told me it is the worst thing they have ever experienced, they would not wish it on their worst enemy. Jason has shared his journey with cancer on social media. He has completed 11 rounds of chemo. He has two weeks to his next scan, his words after his recent bout “Thanks to everyone for helping me stay strong through this.” Jason has been an inspiration throughout his journey, and I can`t help but think of how in the future his attitude of positivity, and not giving up will help others in their struggles with cancer. But I refuse to stop there as I`m a stubborn and selfish person who realizes that the world is short of caring, amazing people and I want to have Jason around many years and not just be a feel-good story. Every training run for this marathon I have dedicated to Jason. I have uttered a short prayer every run “Lord heal Jason.” Jason was always into the horror movies; he would wear a mask to work every Halloween. Early on in his cancer process I thought of how the main character in these movies always come back no matter what. Facts I looked up about the character Jason from the movie Friday the 13th “Jason is immortal and can never be truly defeated. Jason`s body will regenerate any lost or damaged tissue at an accelerated rate. Laboring across the finish line my work is complete. Race Director Sandie Orlando congratulates me. My last "Lord heal Jason" prayer."

Ghosts are something that frighten us. I see the parallel between Jason`s journey and the lyrics from Ghosts that we knew Mumford And Sons. “So, give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light, because Oh they gave me such a fright. And I will hold on for all of my might just promise I`ll be all right. The ghosts that I knew left me black and all blue. But I will live a long life!





Saturday 17 December 2022

Still running for freedom!

 I have not posted for a while. As years go 2022 seemed uneventful until I started a walk down memory lane of my running.

I ran a full marathon to benefit children in Ukraine March 6. For those who were wondering I did indeed finish my marathon yesterday. Running by yourself in a park in winter had some challenges such as ice covering half the course, somehow having my running hat go missing causing me to run the first loop bare headed and having to create my own hydration stations. These are some positive moments from yesterday: helping the young woman who fell on ice in front of me, having a total stranger tell me "have fun today", going to the first hydration station (my house) in under 70 minutes for 14km a Boston qualifying time and having the beautiful volunteer (Gloria) find me a hat, provide my fluids, pass on messages of hope, and give me a kiss going out the front door. The weather was good for running it was -3, there was no snow, the wind was strong at times 35 km/hr but nothing like the 100km/hr from this afternoon. As with most races as I was finishing, I thought to myself I could have went further, but not faster.

Today I am sore but that is always to be expected, most importantly I did not sustain an injury. The donation board is moving, and some high rollers have pledged support, but I never really concern myself with the numbers I can see.
The Sunflower is The National Flower of Ukraine.
Post Malone Sunflower lyrics.
Then you`re left in the dust
Unless I stuck by ya
You`re the sunflower
Or you`ll be left in the dark
Unless I stuck by ya
You`re the sunflower
You`re the sunflower
The number I always look to is one if even one child can be picked up from the dust and taken from the dark to a place of safety from my running Saturday I am more than content.

September 9

Today I mourn the loss of a young woman. Eliza Fletcher 34 of Memphis was a marathon runner. Last Friday she went out for a training run and never came home. A man who had previously served 19 years in prison for rape has been charged with her murder. Eliza leaves her students, husband, family, and two young sons a gaping hole that can never be filled. My first reaction is to affix blame, look for who, or what society deems responsible say some harsh words to let off steam words that change nothing but may ease my conscience. I have run thousands of times at every possible time of day, and night through desolate areas, not once have I known fear, not once have I doubted coming home. My wife and daughters have had to be more careful, hiking with partners, or running on a treadmill. Johnny Cash was once asked why he wore black? He answered that he wore it for all the things wrong with the world, the oppression, hypocrisy, abuse, death, disease, etc. He went on to say "he`d :love to wear a rainbow everyday and tell the world that everything`s okay. But he would carry a little darkness on his back. Till things are brighter. He`s the man in black." A movement has started in the running community called "Finishing Eliza`s Run." Her body was found at an abandoned house 10km from where she was running. Early Saturday morning I will do my part to finish Eliza`s run. I will run 20km with a weighted backpack, hoping that change is possible. The first 10 km will be to take Eliza to her earthly home, the final 10 km will symbolize her first run in Heaven



October 1
This year's challenge run Centennial hill 15 times to benefit Ratanak International, one hill represents each year I have been a volunteer. Centennial Park has three different hills I decided to run each one five times. The first hill I named the hill of despair. fifteen years ago, 27 million people lived as slaves, 1.5 million were young children caught up in sexual slavery. The most recent numbers I am sure are much higher. Easy to feel helpless as an individual faced with such enormity. The second hill I named complacency. It is easy to feel good about oneself and think one is doing enough. I believe there is always more I can do. The third hill is the hill of resiliency. This hill represents the time when we are so close to a breakthrough but many times, we stop short because we feel we cannot carry on. These are the times I ignore my physical pain and look at the pain of those I run for, and inevitably what I believe will be accomplished by refusing to quit A popular running mantra for marathon runners a few years ago was "left, right repeat for 26.2 miles." Left, right repeat for as long as I can continue to dedicate endurance events to benefit the world`s most vulnerable.

November 6

980 Days have passed since I ran my last live event. Much has changed in the world and in my life, some good some bad. Every race has spectators and signs meaning to encourage participants, some are more helpful than others. Being told "keep it up you look great" at the 2km mark of a full marathon maybe true, but the runner knows how far they still have to go. Being told its all downhill to the finish line on a record day of heat at the 40km mark comes to mind lol Neil Boron. Today was a first as I was late despite leaving in plenty of time. Congestion on the side road leading to the event had me taking one hour for a normal five-minute drive. The mc told me and the other affected runners "don`t worry you will catch them all." Yeah right, I thought to myself. One thing I missed about being in a race are the inspirational runners. One man wore a shirt with the title 100 marathon club member. I asked him his total and he answered 807. One lady wore a shirt with the words "Brain tumor warrior." A blind runner was being led by her guide. Usually, I run for a cause; at the time I choose this race I just wanted to finish a live event. During the past week I realized what this race would mean to myself and others. Sia has a song "Unstoppable" I recommend looking up the lyrics to me they mean the times we put on a brave face and not let the world see what is going on inside. The words ring so true because even in this day and age people still feel stigmatized, weak, alone and ashamed when they suffer from mental health issues.
19 km mark I stomp the ground as I pass the marker. No more COVID19 I think to myself the pandemic and all the aftermath took a huge toll on me and many others. Through the love and support of my family I walked out, bruised, scarred, and a little less of myself but I walked out ready to fight again. This race had a unique feature in that at the 19 and 20 km mark they had "angels" set up, volunteers to help those who needed it cross the finish line. I thought of my two running angels. Kelly who I met by "chance" six years ago on this very waterfront trail, and who is now running in heaven, she ran with me to the 20 km mark, Eliza the marathon runner of two children murdered on a training run I have mentioned before. Sometimes justice cannot be served on earth, dedicating a mid-night run, or purchasing something to benefit a trust fund set in her name will never bring her back but it is all I can do Eliza ran with me to the finish line. Towards the end of the race, I started passing a lot of the pacers, and wondered what my time would end up. I was pleasantly surprised with my unofficial time as I believe I was only two minutes over a Boston Marathon Qualifying time.
Mental health is something we as a society have to get better at. The world we live in is not getting easier. I ended up running this race as a celebration for my mental health, if someone reading this is struggling, please reach out to someone, especially in your low moments. Unlike the hollow government words that were coined in the pandemic. Know that we, everyone who reads this "are in this together." A sign a spectator carried today was HOPE. HANG ON PAIN ENDS!







Tuesday 26 October 2021

Running For A Purpose

I have been asked to share about my 'Boston Marathon experience.' Since I finished the race in 3 hours and 25 minutes and trained for at least six months for this day I took the initiative to include other aspects of my life outside of the actual race. While walking around downtown Boston the day before the race I passed an enormous Renaissance Church with a sign that read 'Marathoner`s may you always have a tail wind.' This referred to the upcoming race and life in general, As it is easier and much more pleasant running with the wind at your back than directly into it. Bob Dylan wrote a song in 1963 about some of the injustices he saw in history at this time. Here are some of the lyrics. How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry? How many deaths will it take till he knows too many people have died? How many years can some people exist before they`re allowed to be free? How many times can a man turn his head pretending he just doesn`t see? He stated the answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind. Almost 50 years later we can ask the same questions of so many problems in the world`s current state. I do not believe there is any one answer; however I feel we all have a role to play and are called to be a part of the solution. My answer seems not to be blowing, but running into the wind. This past week I thought of the weather conditions of my 5 races, 4 that would benefit Ratanak. All except one had winds of at least 50 km/h. Boston does not use the metric system. The winds were 50 m/hr or 80km/h when I ran. As the sign on the Church says I do wish for an easy life with the wind always behind me. My experience at trying to make a difference more often than not I seem to have a very strong wind directly against me. Training for a marathon has been the most challenging yet spiritually rewarding time of my life. Training for a marathon is like running to the edge of a cliff and trying to stop yourself just in time to look over the edge. If you push yourself to hard you fall over the cliff, injure yourself and cannot take part in the race. If you don`t push yourself hard enough, you start but do not finish the race. The Boston Marathon sent me an official booklet congratulating me for finishing the race. In the booklet it mentioned 3% of the runners who started that day did not finish. These were not beginner runners, a fellow runner told me on the bus ride to the starting line 'you have to be in the top 10% of marathon runners in the world just to make it here.' I remember seeing a man lying on his back at the 40 km mark with blankets covering him and medical staff all around him. I thought of how close he had came to finishing the race, but his body would not let him. Three things I do not miss about training for a marathon: 1 Looking at my calendar on Sunday night and trying to plan a week of training around work, weather, being a father, being a husband. 2 Sleeping with ice packs under whichever body part seemed to need it the most. This year my right hamstring won the prize and received most of the attention for the three months leading up to Boston. 3 The Spiritual opposition that is hard to explain, but if you have experienced it than you know what I am talking about. When things are really tough I feel like the disciples did in the boat with the storm threatening to drown them. Right now I am enjoying a period of calm waters and although I know when things are very tough I must be on the right track to have such a strong opposition I do not miss this at all. Two things I miss: 1 Nature, this year on top of every other animal you could imagine seeing while running down a ravine I saw two new ones. Deer's and Coyotes. 2 Nature`s creator I will miss. My most intimate and creative moments come while I run for a very long time down my ravine. Twice in training I had runs planned for longer than I would sleep that night. I think they were my two best days. The first day I thought of how absurd this was running for a bit longer than 3 hours while only sleeping for 3 hours and asked the question why? Why would I do this? Why did this not seem like a sacrifice? Why did I actually enjoy this? A David Crowder song came into my head and I sang it for almost all of that run. How He Loves Us He is jealous for them He Loves like a hurricane they are His tree Bending beneath the weight and wind of His mercy When all of a sudden I am unaware OF THEIR AFFLICTIONS ECLIPSED BY GLORY and I realize just how beautiful they are and how great Your affections are for them. This chorus is sang three times. At first David Crowder`s voice is low the words are sang slow. The music speeds up and by the end he is singing very fast with so much passion it seems as if his voice will break. At the end he sings the chorus at least twenty times. And oh, how He Loves them Oh how He Loves them Oh how He Loves them all. This summed up to me God`s Love for the forsaken girls in Cambodia, and the portion that has been given to me. This was the last song sang in Church that day and to me it seemed as if all of Heaven was singing along.
 I have been married for 14 years. I know my wife very well and she knows me. The evening before my longest run Gloria asked me what time I was waking up at? I mumbled something purposely incoherent because telling a nurse what I had planned may have caused some tension. As I started running I noticed the Moon was still out and the Sun had yet to come out. I had to change my scheduled run as running down the ravine in pitch darkness would not have been wise. I ended running up Centennial Ski Hill in Etobicoke. At the top of the hill I saw one of the most incredible views of my life. The Moon was setting on one side of the hill, while the Sun was rising on the other. I thought of Cambodia in the times of 'The Killing Fields' as the darkness ruled for 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I thought of Brian and Ratanak International entering Cambodia 20 years ago bringing light into this darkness slowly but surely. I really yearned for and prayed for the day when Jesus throws the forces of darkness out of Cambodia and takes His rightful place. The view was so incredible I could literally see for miles. I thought of Jesus being taken by satan to the heights at His weakest moment, being shown and offered the world and refusing this offer. I think of how many men I know who have sold out for power and prayed I do not fall into this trap. Next I was shown that disgusting pedophile from the English documentary our group had watched the day before. The old man who bragged about how tight the girls were when he raped them. The same man who at the end who tried for sympathy by pathetically claiming he only taught the girls English and what would his daughter think? The same man who without boasting if I saw that day would have been in very serious danger.
Running an actual marathon is quite different than training. My experience has been it is not if the pain will occur; but when. My first marathon I remember running beside a dog park when a huge Doberman started snarling at me from the other side of the fence. My sense of humor was still intact as I thought if this dog hops the fence instead of fighting it or running away I will offer it my leg than I can stop running. Last year`s Mississauga Marathon I felt part of a fierce Spiritual battle. I ran the last 14 kms with 5 different muscle groups cramping at the same time. I reread my journal last week and three days after the race I still did not know if I was injured as both of my legs were so sore.
 In Boston the pain came earliest. At the six mile mark both of my legs starting hurting, my right foot like I had broken something. I remember thinking to myself great I have 20 miles to go and every step of the way hurts. But God sometimes uses our pain for his purpose. At the 3 mile mark a lady held up a sign that read 'Remember the reason why you are running!' For the last 20 miles every step reminded me of the girls and their pain that doesn`t last 20 miles or 3 hours, but may last a lifetime. My original plan was to run one marathon for funding and awareness. Two people in Toronto have told me they were running some kind of race for Ratanak after hearing about me. Two ladies in Buffalo contacted me asking questions on fundraising and other issues. They were also running for Ratanak after hearing about me. A man from Calgary asked me similar questions which I answered, and also directed him to the iRun magazine in which they published his story. Last year Brian asked for permission to forward one of my writings to Steve Norman Ratanak U.K. to be used in an article also to encourage a lady who was running in the Belfast Marathon for Ratanak. I do not know if it is from me, or her, or whoever but I saw on a Ratanak prayer guide 36 people took part recently in a run for Ratanak at the Belfast Marathon. At a prayer meeting Brian spoke of how he felt God was calling him to follow. Brian could see the dust on the Horizon knew that it was God and tried to keep up. I like this because God is not standing still and is looking for people to follow. My experience has been not to keep up with God but to follow His lead. I received two emails from a lady named Renate. Hi Larry I read your article in iRun and thought of trying to get in touch with you to see how I could be supportive because I think your cause is amazing (I am also the mother of two young girls.) I had a chance to look at the Ratanak website they are doing great things! Renate has been the Race director for four, 5km walk/runs in which the money raised goes to Hope International which builds wells for people in Africa without water. Too often a project is deemed to be a success or failure by how much money was raised. Unfortunately the pedophiles seem to have no problem raising money to ruin these children`s lives, sometimes money has to be raised to give these children their lives back. Renate`s last race raise $45 000, she has raised over $100 000.
 In Closing my introduction to Brian was in the form of an email I sent to him. An old U2 song`s lyrics had struck me. The song is 40 based on Psalm 40 and mentions 'I will sing, sing a NewSong' many times. I thought of the NewSong Center and Brian still searching for Sung. He shared a personal story with me and said 'all I need now is for U2 to hold a benefit concert for the NewSong Center'. I know this is a dream but I am Irish, and Irish can dream. Being in Boston to run in the Marathon is hard to explain. It is something you have to see for yourself, or something you have to experience. The day before the race the whole city is abuzz with excitement and anticipation, Carrying my official bag back to my Hotel room complete strangers are coming up to me and wishing me luck. 500 thousand people came to Boston to watch this race. 125 Million dollars was generated for the City. I am not Irish but I had a dream in Boston. I saw one day set aside in the many parts of the World that Ratanak International has reached. I thought of Mississauga, Vancouver, Cambridge, Saskatchewan, Winnipeg, Ottawa, Buffalo, Calgary, Ottawa, England, Ireland, Austrailia, and even Cambodia. I saw The NewSong girls taking part in their own 5km walk; a day when people around the World take the time to walk or run in support for the ones who cannot. A day that is coming. 
Editor`s note: To date running events that Larry has been part of have raised over $236 000! Larry was went on to run 10 full marathons and 5 ultra marathons.


Wednesday 22 September 2021

 "A chord of three strands is not easily broken." I ran 5.2 miles today relatively, easily and surprisingly fast. On October 2 I will have to run this six times. As I ran I looked at my three wrist bands I always wear. The blue one was given to me when I volunteered at a conference educating people about the world of children sold into sex trafficking. Isaiah 1:17 is written on it. "Learn to do good. Seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." The black and green one is from the 5km days. Bring Hope! Ratanak International is written on it. The white one is a gift from a daughter who attended a fundraiser. Elimination Of Violence Against Women is written on it. A month or so ago I was hearing strong opinions for and against whether people should be vaccinated. What saddened me was the same people were silent on the news that the American troops were leaving Afghanistan. History always shows us women and children suffer the most in conflict. I unsuccessfully tried to block images of what I knew would be happening to the most vulnerable in Afghanistan. NEEDTOBREATHE has a song Slumber whose lyrics challenged me as I ran today. "All these victims stand in line for the crumbs that fall from the table. Just enough to get by. All the while your invitation. Wake up from your slumber. Baby, open up your eyes." If I am honest I usually do give crumbs, to ease my conscience. The numbers sometimes seem impressive but they are given out of abundance. In the near future I hope to sacrifice a bit more by being bolder. Today I made a vow which made five important ladies in my life happy. After completing my challenge on October 2 I will shave my COVID beard and cut my hair short. Now I know I cannot fail as Gloria Uroda Dearlove would carry me the whole way just to have this come to fruition.

Sunday 3 December 2017

Silence

"Hello darkness, my old friend
I`ve come to talk to you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sounds of silence."

This song was played during a scene as I watched one of my favourite shows. A wise pastor once told me God`s wisdom is revealed in unlikely places, by unlikely people. Simon and Garfunkel sang this song many years ago, the version I heard was by a Heavy Metal Band named Disturbed.

Six years ago I awoke from a dream and wrote down what I saw.
Young Cambodian children dressed in white were coming out of graves holding hands singing the lyrics "We have overcome." For me it meant a great victory had been achieved, the practise of selling young Cambodian children sexually had been abolished.

A man with a lifetime of experience in seeing the victims of child sexual abuse told me in his opinion these children "are the jewels in satan`s crown." My opinion is that there are very few darker places on this earth than the rooms where these children are abused for profit and filmed for an audience.

I am an introvert so I love silence. Silence sometimes can be evil. Children who are abused suffer in silence, their abusers try to maintain this silence. The greatest evil of silence is when people hear about these abuses and look away, refusing to do anything, maintaining the silence.

Darkness is not my friend as the song mentions, but it has been my constant companion for the past ten years. Tomorrow will mark the fifth medical appointment for my family in the last three days, this seems to happen every winter. I run marathons and further, yet none of these medical appointments are ever for me.

Darkness attacks me when my subconscious shuts down and I close my eyes to sleep. I am having vivid nightmares again. When I am fortunate I wake up terrified remembering nothing, the worst comes when I remember and think about the things I have never experienced and yet I am shown evil acts with such clarity.

This writing is not about doom and gloom, but hope, this writing takes place on my wife`s birthday, two days before my own. This writing is reality, and reality is that even amongst celebration and ceremony in our lives, many others are suffering, and this is something we can never forget. 

This is to be a year of boldness. As I ran down my ravine last week in preparation for my most aggressive spring running schedule I was encouraged as I had the thought of God moving and setting key figures into play to further His involvement in freeing people caught up in slavery around the world. People I have not met, places I have not been to, yes I truly believe this is to be the year of the Lord`s favour on our little walkathon.

Isiah 61 1-2
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
   because the Lord has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor
He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners
    to proclaim the year of the Lord`s favour.

Larry








Monday 25 September 2017

God Has No Teacher

While waiting in my car to go into a meeting that would include a documentary showing survivors of human trafficking I watched a few small birds picking up food from the ground. I saw they were free and thought of every animal in the world and came to the sad realisation that only human beings have enough evil inside of themselves to put chains on and enslave their own.
On vacation while in Florida I sat on a porch overlooking a garden and spent a long time watching a Gecko move around.



At first it`s steps seemed random, after a while I could see it had a pattern of movement that was anything but random.
I thought of two of the many examples of what some would call fate or random happenings in my life.
Twelve years ago I joined a new gym near my house. A fellow member and myself hit it off very well, we talked about everything including our work places. His work had profit sharing, flexible work shifts, banking overtime hours, employee performance reviews, and accountability. Three months later I left my secure job of thirteen years taking a temporary pay cut, and joined his company. Two years later my former company closed it`s doors. My present company pays me very well and it`s flexible work schedule has allowed me to help the vulnerable in Cambodia to a better life.

Twenty three years ago two of my closest friends started up a pool company. I helped them out whenever I could. A weekend was planned for a celebration. We were to go to a condominium in Barrie, and than on to a weekend at Wasaga Beach. The weather was terrible so on Saturday we headed back home. That night we attended a dance where I met my wife of twenty years and my best friend met his wife of eighteen years.

Looking out the window of a plane I watched how the wing would move and change its position according to what was required of it. I remembered seeing a movie of the first flyers and how they would study birds and chart their movements hoping to perfect the flying machines. I saw many birds in Florida, one day I watched three Hawks gliding, instinctively they knew how to catch the wind and stay airborne for a long time without even using their wings.

I love the ocean! I heal spiritually and physically in the 
ocean. In Canada epsom salt baths bring healing to my body when I push it too hard. This cannot begin to compare to the salt in the ocean. Two days of relaxing and swimming took away all my tension and pain. The ocean stays clean because of its natural filtration system of constant movement. Men have applied this same system on swimming pools. When stagnant a pool looks like this.



It is not popular to believe in a Creator. Watching Hawks soar, Oceans roar, Geckos wander and thinking of the "coincidences" in my life reinforce my belief.

Jim Morrison of The Doors had a saying "no one gets out of here alive."
The Earth is a dangerous, fallen place.



This sign is posted as a warning at a pond I ran past. A young boy was drowned by an alligator in a similar pond the previous summer. In Fort Lauderale my family arrived at the same airport where a lone gunman killed five people the previous year.
On June 12 2016 at the 5kmWalkathon I mentioned this day in history and shared many examples of good and evil from the past. We celebrated all the good that would come from our walkathon, later on that night forty nine people were shot dead in an Orlando night club. 
Two weeks after my vacation Hurricane Irma devastated a large part of Florida, including places my family had been to.

A prophetess spoke once at my Church about the time she felt the Lord asked her what she wanted as a reward for her very hard life. She asked for a small stream in Heaven, she was shown her wish would be granted. 




My wish for Heaven is a beach on an ocean. On it my family will meet many Cambodian girls that have been helped by our work on Earth.

Larry

Saturday 5 August 2017

The Death Of Music Red Flag

Lyrics from two songs of two different eras, by two vastly different types of music inspired this writing. 
American Pie was written in 1971 by Don McLean. I heard it twice on the radio in less than a week. As I listened to the lyrics I was amazed at the imagery. Forty six years later people are still debating the meaning of this song. A popular Christian writer lamented on the loss of creativity amongst Christian artists and writers. This lament could be spread to the mainstream as I fear very little of what I see, hear, or read will inspire, or challenge people generations later.

I believe hearing and enjoying music is given to us as a gift from God at birth. In the song American Pie time and time again the words are sang "This`ll be the day that I die." 
Dying to music can come to people in many forms. Abuse, neglect, bullying, shaming, ridiculing etc can chip away at the music until one day, we hear music no more, feel joy no more. Sadly many people around us are walking around life in this state.
Many years ago some of the music went out of my life: hearing about young girls the same age as my daughters being sold into sexual slavery brought me into a world I never knew existed. Time and knowledge have only increased this sadness. I realize now how widespread of a problem this is. I am grateful to have only read and never had to have watched the abuse of a child.

Oh, and as I watched him on that stage
My fists were clenched in fits of rage
I saw satan laughing with delight
The day the music died

A friend from work went to school with a band from Mississauga named Billy Talent. 

Red Flag
Cast off the crutch that kills the pain
The red flag waving never mean`t the same
The kids of tomorrow don`t need today
When they live in the sins of yesterday

How often do we try to ignore or numb pain? Another friend from work told me about his estranged wife keeping his daughter`s from him, even throwing out his letters, gifts, communications etc. My friend would buy a small amount of alcohol each day that allowed him to numb his pain and sleep.
One year at Missionfest I was at a booth handing out flyers with information about forced child trafficking in Cambodia and practical ways to do something about it. A lady burst into tears as she approached our booth, and walked away. A few minutes later I saw her laughing and collecting information at another booth with a different ministry. Later in the same day a friend approached this woman and asked her about her earlier reaction, the woman`s response was "All I could think of was my grand daughters being in that situation and that is too painful."
I do not know what ever became of this woman but speaking from experience it is my belief that when you are moved to tears this is probably the area of ministry that God has intended for you.

Looking up the meaning of a red flag had many differing opinions. The one I liked most was that unlike a white flag which is used to surrender, a red flag was carried for war.
Sometimes heading directly into pain while seemingly illogical is exactly what we are called to do.
I learned this lesson the hard way. One day I was sparring with my martial arts instructor and things were not going very well for me, I was getting hit often and could not muster any offence of my own. My instructor stopped the session and showed me what was going on. He hit me and what did I do? I stepped back, he hit me again, I stepped back again. He stopped me and explained that each time I backed away from him, he only had to step forward to mount an offence, he also showed me that by backing up I could not generate any power of my own to counter him. My instructor showed me stepping to the side (slipping) was a good move, but the best way to stop his offence was to step right into him, throw my own punches, and force him to back up.
Many people I know that are involved with ministries have suffered abuse and yet God has placed them in areas that deal with a lot of issues that would make sense to avoid.
Running away from pain is a logical wordly reaction, but it is not always the right one. 

The kids of tomorrow don`t need today
When they live in the sins of yesterday

I heard the term "sins of the Father" many times growing up in my Church. It was always used to explain some sin a person had committed, whom had a parent with an obvious sin in their life. I never thought much about this, and after time I almost accepted it. Reading my Bible showed me the many times that God saved David`s line as King of Israel because of God`s love for him despite David`s many sins. I think of John 9 vs 2 Jesus healing the blind man and the disciples asking "Rabbi who sinned this man or his parents that he was born blind? Jesus replied "Neither, but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." I think of Ezekiel 18 vs 20 "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father."
As a father who is less than perfect and was far less than perfect in my younger days, I take comfort in these verses as I think of my children.
The child growing up in Cambodia marked with the legacy of "The Killing Fields" as their past looks forward to a future filled with a God who judges them on their own merit.

I am running very regular this Summer, today I crossed paths with one of these in my ravine.



It was a baby milk snake and thankfully it has was not like the full grown one I encountered a few years ago.



My long range plans are in place in my head, the next few months will allow me to put them into practice. I am to run a full marathon next May, keeping with my previously stated agreement I will not be running to the destination of my next marathon. BUT, I have worked out a compromise and will hopefully run my longest distance ever in a day in the week of next June before next years 5kmWalkathon. I hope to bring awareness to our cause, while sharing, blending and honouring my work place and their cause as they have allowed me the freedom to try to make the world a little better.

I believe in helping others we are able to bring music back to individuals who have had the music stolen from their lives. I also believe earth is so fallen that even our brightest, purest, most selfless experiences of music can only pale in comparison to what one day awaits.

Larry