Summer is almost over
and this Summer was a time of slowing down, a time of reflection as well as a
time of dealing with whatever life threw at my Family.
One area of my
life I thought about was the use of music, in particular lyrics from songs that
I have used in my previous writings.
K`naan Take
a Minute
And any man who
knows a thing knows
He knows not a
damn, damn thing at all
And every time I
feel their hurt
I feel that givin`
getting me up off the wall
Sums up my
thoughts on looking back on my experiences of this Summer, and also looking
ahead to the future.
For people new to
this blog I have run five full marathons and helped organize two 5km walkathons
to raise funding and awareness to benefit sexually exploited children in
Cambodia, through the Christian organization Ratanak International.
This Summer my
family experienced Soccer, pool cover bugs, Floods, and more then our share of
drama.
Soccer was fun, both
girls played for a different league, at different fields at the same time on
the same night. Gloria and I took turns watching each girl
play. Monday became known as Soccer night for our family, although eating
Dinner at about 9.30 p.m. may have added a few inches to my waistline, as one
night I was told by my better half "I don`t think Hugh Jackman eats
that." I remarked "I do not think Hugh Jackman can run a
marathon". To which Isabella joined in the conversation "He
doesn`t need to."
One night while watching
Katarina play I looked up into the sky overhead and saw something very
beautiful. I saw a field with all the flowers of the earth. I
saw the Sun shining bright. I saw many children all at ease, all smiling,
playing, singing. I saw the abuse, and the shame and the baggage forced
upon these children left outside of this field. I saw the children looking
to their admirer. I saw the abused children of this world, children who
had lost their childhood to Men`s abuse, reclaiming it with Jesus in Heaven.
Matthew 19:14
Jesus said
"Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the
Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these."
This
image reminded me of the Song by Mercy Me and their thoughts of Heaven
I Can Only Imagine
I can only imagine
What it will be
like
When I walk by
your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will
see
When your face is
before me
"Thank you
everyone for your love, support and donations which helped me build a brand new
life. I want everyone to know I`m doing just fine. I may have been
to hell and back, but I am strong enough to walk through hell with a smile on my
face and with my head held high and my feet firmly on the ground."
Michelle Knight`s words about how she is doing after her 10 years of captivity
in Cleveland. I would like to imagine myself, that although you and I may
never hear these words, that there are children in Cambodia who are thinking
these thoughts as they continue to heal.
Pool cover bugs,
the names are water strider, and water boatman.
For quite some
time in the Spring Isabella had taken an interest in these two types of bugs on
our pool cover. One day she asked me "what were we going to do with
them when we drained the cover to open our pool?'' With her persistence I
realized I would have to come up with a plan. For Isabella has a love for
all of God`s creatures, even bugs on a pool cover. This is a beautiful
thing that I do not want to snuff out. The plan I came up with was to put
the bugs in separate containers and take them to a pond near where I run.
It is about 2km from my house so we would have to take the van. The day
of the event Isabella expressed surprise that she was to come as I told her I
need you to hold the pails steady so the bugs do not spill out. I
thought how Isabella`s attitude reflected mine earlier on in my life with some
of the World`s unfairness, in that I noticed the problem`s and expected God to
solve them (without me being involved) and even blamed Him when these problems
continued. I have come to realize that God is involved in these problems
in a very big way, BUT He expects us to do our part. In summary the water
boatman bug`s survived our trip, but the water strider bug somehow was not
in the pail as we arrived at the park, and we could not find it anywhere.
Another lesson I learned is that I am not guaranteed 100% success. I
advocate for the children in Cambodia as best as I can however many times
circumstances far beyond my control may delay or even thwart the freeing of
these children, however this does not give me the right to do nothing.
As the Summer
started I was asked the question "How are you?' I responded
"Today I am good, but I do not know what Tomorrow will bring."
Tomorrow brought a power outage and a flooding in our basement (due to a
record rainfall), a car break down, and trips to three Emergency
departments. We dealt with a severe Migraine and a fractured Tibia.
These events reminded me of how little control I have over many areas in
my life. The Flood was a blessing in a way for we cleaned out our crawl
space and the "treasures" I had been storing in the form of old
things that I thought had value, ended up costing me $17 to throw out at
the dump. I think of Jesus and how the Soldiers gambled for His only
possession His robe and realized I should be more efficient with
my belongings.
The trip`s to the
Emergency departments came as most things do, without a warning. We
received great care with hopefully no future problems, and as we walked
out of the Hospital each time I thought of all the Parents whose Children have
serious medical conditions that may never go home. I thought of the
saying on my favourite shirt that both my girl`s wore when they were
younger. "Thank Heaven for little girls." I thought
of the little ones in Cambodia and I thank Heaven for them, as well as having
not so little girls that are Healthy, and a Country that looks after them with
care when they are not well.
Music has played such a
significant part of my writing which is interesting as I have no music
talent, also interesting is the various types of music, and the timing.
After The
2013 Cleveland Marathon I wrote about hearing the Beatle`s song Let it be
as I entered Brown`s Stadium and prepared myself for the run and how I
changed the words to do not let it be in relation to the sexually exploited
children in Cambodia. The 2012 Toronto Marathon ran out of cups at it`s
later watering stations, causing me to be dehydrated, and have a very tough
finish. At the 30 km mark a band by the side of the road played the song
"Gloria" as I ran by them and for a brief moment I forgot about my pain,
and thought of my most beautiful wife and actually smiled. At the finish
line of the 2010 Mississauga Marathon I heard the song No woman no cry a song
that friends of mine danced with some of the abused children of Cambodia
on a short term Mission trip the previous year. In another run I heard
the song I go blind by 54- 40, a song about looking at children suffering and
being able to ignore it. What is interesting is that each time if I was
even two minutes later, or earlier I would have missed the song.
At the gym I have
heard No Doubt`s song Just a Girl, which speaks of a girl living in
captivity. Taylor Swift Change was a recent addition in which I quoted
from in my previous writing. I also have heard an older Bob Dylan song.
Blowin` in the
wind
Yes, how many
years can some people exist
Before they`re
allowed to be free?
Yes, how many
times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just
doesn`t see?
Yes, how many ears
must one man have
Before he can hear
people cry?
Yes, how many
deaths will it take till he knows
That too many
people have died?
His answer to all
of these questions was to blow in the wind.
These
questions still ring loud and clear today, and serve to challenge
us. I always seem to have the wind against me in a Marathon, this
along with heat and hills make finishing any race more of a challenge.
Wind is a huge challenge. It is something out of my control, and it
serves to keep me alert. My hardest training run of the past year was
such a day. The wind on this day was 60km/hr and gusted to 85km/hr.
Very early on I thought to myself Gloria could not run with me
today as I do not think she is heavy enough to run into this wind. I
was looking forward to the halfway point when I could turn around and run with
the wind at my back.
Each time the wind
gusted it hit me right in in my chest and took my breath away. For some
reason I thought of a song from the movie The Apostle starring Robert Duvall
where as a preacher he was leading his congregation in physically building a
Church from the ground up. He would sing a line from The Bible about
Satan`s work and in response his whole congregation would sing out "Satan
get behind thee." For the rest of this training run each time a
gust of wind would hit me I would think of something negative that should keep
me from helping the children in Cambodia and I would sing out "Satan get
behind me." One gust knocked me down as I ran up a hill, after
checking that I was okay my loudest "Satan get behind me."
Getting to the halfway point seemed to take forever, and when I turned
around I went a short distance and realized the wind had just
shifted so in fact this wind was going to be against me the whole
run. I was able to finish, however the wind did take a toll on me
as my time was 20 minutes slower then my average, yet as I have mentioned
before in previous writings that these type of unexpected hardships though
not pleasant, help you in dealing with other tests later on in life.
Running in my
Ravine seems to be when the Music really comes to me. One day I thought
of Bruce Cockburn`s song If a tree falls in a Forest and changed it to If a
child screams in a brothel Does anybody hear? Does anybody care? Anybody
hear the child scream?
I spoke once in a
Church about these next two songs and how the lyrics challenged
me. As a Rock group seemed to have more moral outrage and anger
at Social injustices in the world then my twenty years in Church had taught me.
The group is Rage Against The Machine. Just looking up these words again
after such a long time really moved me. Maria is the song of a woman
smuggled across a border into a life of slavery, eventually dying in her
captivity at the hands of her captor. Born as ghosts to me refers to the fact
it is much easier to never think about some of the suffering of the children
that is going on in the World.
Maria
Tha Sun ablaze as
Maria`s foot touches the surface of Sand
She knows the game
she`s human contraband
Tha foreman approaches
Steps now pound in
her brain
His presence it
terrifies
And eclipses her
days
And with a
whisper
He whips her
Her soul chained
to his will
Born as Ghosts
The hills find
peace, locked armed guard`s post
Keeping us safe
from the screams of the children born as ghosts
Born as ghosts, a
warning, they suffer
They cannot speak
a word
Born as ghosts, a
warning, they suffer
They are the
children born as ghosts
Born as ghosts
Viewing pictures
of the recent Ratanak 5km Walkathon a song from Mumford and Sons came to
mind.
Awake my
Soul
In
these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
And where you
invest your love, you invest your life.
Awake my soul
Awake my soul
Awake my soul
For you were made
to meet your maker.
Jessika from my
core group summed this up to me best as every picture I saw from the
walkathon she was in she was just radiant. A book I read this Summer
speaks of the belief that the verse from The Bible saying that The
Kingdom of God being close at hand is a statement that God has a
Kingdom on Earth, as I looked at Jessika on this day I cannot help but
feel for her investment of time and of her life for the children in Cambodia
she experienced something very special on this day.
I received a clean
bill of health from my Doctor. Now I am asked what is next?
I feel like I am
to continue on the journey I have begun. It is journey of heart break and
pain, a journey of sorrow and distress, a journey almost too much for me at times,
a journey that takes me places I do not always want to go, but it
also is a journey of incredible blessings. A rough plan has been
formatted starting this fall (I have Family approval.) I have a few
smaller races starting in October and ending with a full Marathon run in
Ottawa next Spring. The Ratanak 5km will have it`s third installment,
hopefully with even more success.
I have been told
by more then one person that they felt my preparing for and running an actual
marathon allows me to carry girls in Cambodia closer to their spiritual
freedom. Last Monday my oldest Daughter Katarina broke her tibia in
a Soccer game. Katarina has many excellent qualities, one I found out
that night is that she is "tough as nails" as she walked off the
field on her broken leg under her own power. Going to her team`s bench I
saw her obvious pain and wondered what to do? Instinctively I put
her over my shoulder; very slowly and carefully I carried her to the
waiting car. Was it fun? No. Was it easy? No. Was
it necessary? Yes. Did I resent or regret the physical sacrifice I was
making? Of course not! What it also was, was an incredible
honor in being the person who was trying to help bring someone I love closer
to ending their pain. This is a picture of what I hope I can do for
the girls in Cambodia.
Carrying Katarina
carefully allowed her no further pain. The girls in Cambodia need to
be physically taken out of the areas where they are being harmed, as it is
only when trauma is stopped that healing can begin . Carrying
Katarina to the car allowed me to take her to the people best suited to deal
with her injury, X-ray technicians, and Doctors. The girls in
Cambodia need to be taken to counsellors and therapists, one day possibly
to Jesus to help them deal with the abuse they have lived through.
One day soon Katarina will walk again without crutches, it is my hope
that one day the girls in Cambodia will walk freely without any of their
past clinging to them.
This is a picture
of Centennial Hill where I run past now, later on this is the hill I
will run in training that has allowed me to finish some very tough
races with hills, this picture was taken in the fall of 2011.
These are my
original thoughts after viewing this hill. " Look closely some trees
have bright tags or ribbons on them; other trees have a white plastic guard
around them. These fresh planted trees are the children of Cambodia; some
yet to be born. The future of Cambodia is like these trees. The
ribbons represent beauty and a marking or recognition that they have been
chosen by God. The white guard protects the young vulnerable trees from
wild animals, the colour white shows their purity in the eyes of God, not
man. For the children it represents the Spirit that will guard and
protect them. It will strike and chase away the evil that would seek to
reclaim its land. The soil is love, not hate. Peace, not
fear. Acceptance, not rejection. Hope, not despair. The
children will grow straight and tall on this hill."
This is the same
hill less then two years later, although seeing the difference in a Forest`s
growth is obvious to the eye, it is my belief that some of the girls in
Cambodia are healing on the inside, hopefully as fast as this Forest`s growth.
What I found interesting is the beginning of Centennial hill. More than
30 years ago it was used as a transfer station for waste. Centennial hill
where I run, and the beautiful park that surrounds it, used to be an enormous
garbage dump. The children being used sexually in Cambodia are considered
disposable; they are looked upon as garbage themselves. When they are no
longer useful they are thrown out and another takes their place. God is
in the process of building His own beautiful hill in Cambodia on the frail
bodies of the children in Cambodia.
I started with a
line from a K`naan song, later on in the same song he gives thanks to
Africa for what it taught him, I changed it to Cambodia.
Dear Cambodia, you
helped me write this
By showing me to
give is priceless
Larry
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